I Am Completely Serious

I'm unfamiliar with their adaptations. Anyone know if they're likely to do a better job with it than Del Rey did? Or will they just re-use the awful old one?

I've been thinking about Homeworld Gems capture Steven! And Induce Stockholm Syndrome! Fic!

AU where in The Return they just ignore the other gems, grab him, and leave. The gems form Alexandrite and pull the ship's finger (off), but the Homeworld gems get away regardless. Alexandrite is left jumping up and down on the beach waving at least half of her fists in the air.

And then there are let's say five episodes where he's trying to escape and keeps breaking stuff. The ship probably loses one more finger per episode, plus there's the episode focused on Pearl building a new ship.

* Lapis invents toilets and showers for Steven, and hassles Jasper into stopping at the Ice Planet Hoth or somewhere to get him food. Jasper has no idea how that works, and brings back, like, a half-ton of fish-blood ice cream. They keep having to make more stops as Peridot tries to use Science Finger Sensors figure out what he's supposed to eat.

Eventually Jasper frustratedly brings him down with her and tells him to point to things he can potentially eat. He tries to teach her conflict resolution skills and fails, shields her from a pissed-off native/monster at least once.

* This is basically just an Aqua Knight AU with Jasper as Alcantara and I'm sorry.




* At some point this scene happens. Peridot can supply the helpful technical footnotes: "a gemfathom is equal to 183 of your earth centimeters and thus 100 -" "LOOK HE DOESN'T NEED TO KNOW THAT IT'S NOT GERMANE"

* Once they've actually got the food thing sorted out, he continues making up new nutritional deficits and ailments to slow them down, so every episode involves a stop for food wherein he "gets lost," tries to contact home, etc. He learns... things about Modern Gem Culture, I don't know. Insert the Homeworld Is At War With Something Worse And Losing theory here?

* When Jasper and Peridot finally catch on that the forcefields don't work on Steven, Jasper's initial "containment plan" of just kind of carrying him around is compromised by his insistence upon passive-aggressively-but-also-sincerely singing songs about friendship, hugging her, playing with her hair, etc. Her Plan B, making Lapis carry him, is scrapped because Lapis and Steven enjoy this and that also bothers her.

Peridot eventually invents rope.

( Read more... )

* I actually just want someone to redraw all of Alcantara and Zykey's panels but with Jasper and Peridot, obviously hating each other. Particularly Alcantara's self-aggrandizing backstory segment.

WELL, BLEACH, SURELY THIS DEVELOPMENT ADDRESSES ALL MY OBJECTIONS.

( that sentence was a lie )

There's no actual "fucking" in the title, that was me expressing incredulity. There is, however, fucking in the manga itself. It's a shoujo manga where the "bad boy" character in the high-school love triangle is literally Satan. I don't remember why Satan's going to high school. I guess the same reason vampires do.

It's hilarious, particularly in really stilted scanlations. Satan shows he's secretly a nice guy by adopting a persecuted crow-demon child.