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snarpI've been thinking about Homeworld Gems capture Steven! And Induce Stockholm Syndrome! Fic!
AU where in The Return they just ignore the other gems, grab him, and leave. The gems form Alexandrite and pull the ship's finger (off), but the Homeworld gems get away regardless. Alexandrite is left jumping up and down on the beach waving at least half of her fists in the air.
And then there are let's say five episodes where he's trying to escape and keeps breaking stuff. The ship probably loses one more finger per episode, plus there's the episode focused on Pearl building a new ship.
* Lapis invents toilets and showers for Steven, and hassles Jasper into stopping at the Ice Planet Hoth or somewhere to get him food. Jasper has no idea how that works, and brings back, like, a half-ton of fish-blood ice cream. They keep having to make more stops as Peridot tries to use Science Finger Sensors figure out what he's supposed to eat.
Eventually Jasper frustratedly brings him down with her and tells him to point to things he can potentially eat. He tries to teach her conflict resolution skills and fails, shields her from a pissed-off native/monster at least once.
* This is basically just an Aqua Knight AU with Jasper as Alcantara and I'm sorry.
* At some point this scene happens. Peridot can supply the helpful technical footnotes: "a gemfathom is equal to 183 of your earth centimeters and thus 100 -" "LOOK HE DOESN'T NEED TO KNOW THAT IT'S NOT GERMANE"
* Once they've actually got the food thing sorted out, he continues making up new nutritional deficits and ailments to slow them down, so every episode involves a stop for food wherein he "gets lost," tries to contact home, etc. He learns... things about Modern Gem Culture, I don't know. Insert the Homeworld Is At War With Something Worse And Losing theory here?
* When Jasper and Peridot finally catch on that the forcefields don't work on Steven, Jasper's initial "containment plan" of just kind of carrying him around is compromised by his insistence upon passive-aggressively-but-also-sincerely singing songs about friendship, hugging her, playing with her hair, etc. Her Plan B, making Lapis carry him, is scrapped because Lapis and Steven enjoy this and that also bothers her.
Peridot eventually invents rope.
* Pearl is working feverishly to reverse-engineer the finger and use its technology to convert Greg's van into a spaceship capable of catching up with the rest of the hand. This will allow Greg to actually fly into outer space - you know, like in the song? That song about your van, you also drive it into a human vascular organ at one point? - so she doesn't know what he's even complaining about.
She has stolen Mayor Dewey's van for parts (Dewey can't bring himself to object). Connie has additionally stolen her dad's car for parts (she will be grounded FOREVER and packed away to RESIDENTIAL PRE-PRE-PRE-MED HELL-SCHOOL when he notices it's gone, but that's okay! She has several plans for this eventuality and -). Greg has sneaked Connie's dad's car back into the driveway under the cover of darkness.
Garnet and Lion have stolen every single F-22 Raptor (there were supposed to be 187, but one of them turned out to be cardboard; Garnet grabbed it just in case), and Amethyst is just stealing basically whatever (she stole the Cool Kids).
Connie is not supposed to be on board when they take off; she obviously is.
* Steven is squabbling with Peridot about the leash (she progressed from inventing rope to inventing toddler harnesses, a major breakthrough which she intends to patent) and uses it to wrap her up and trip her. She falls on her face, accidentally activates an escape pod, and crash-lands on a hostile planet. Jasper and Lapis are bad at computers, so Peridot tries to walk Steven through piloting over the phone. He inevitably crashes the now-fingerless Hand and escapes, and somehow finally manages to contact Pearl and tell her where he is. She tells him to hide from the Homeworld gems until they get there.
And then we have, like, something like this with Lapis? And possibly he finds Jasper's cracked gem someplace, or Peridot entirely limbless, and he's like, welp.
And then there's some kind of backstory dump, and this part is obviously Peridot's. Jasper doesn't get to help, she has robonoids for that.
* So he's still with the Homeworld gems when the ship shows up, and... I don't know at that point.
* I actually just want someone to redraw all of Alcantara and Zykey's panels but with Jasper and Peridot, obviously hating each other. Particularly Alcantara's self-aggrandizing backstory segment.
AU where in The Return they just ignore the other gems, grab him, and leave. The gems form Alexandrite and pull the ship's finger (off), but the Homeworld gems get away regardless. Alexandrite is left jumping up and down on the beach waving at least half of her fists in the air.
And then there are let's say five episodes where he's trying to escape and keeps breaking stuff. The ship probably loses one more finger per episode, plus there's the episode focused on Pearl building a new ship.
* Lapis invents toilets and showers for Steven, and hassles Jasper into stopping at the Ice Planet Hoth or somewhere to get him food. Jasper has no idea how that works, and brings back, like, a half-ton of fish-blood ice cream. They keep having to make more stops as Peridot tries to use Science Finger Sensors figure out what he's supposed to eat.
Eventually Jasper frustratedly brings him down with her and tells him to point to things he can potentially eat. He tries to teach her conflict resolution skills and fails, shields her from a pissed-off native/monster at least once.
* This is basically just an Aqua Knight AU with Jasper as Alcantara and I'm sorry.
* At some point this scene happens. Peridot can supply the helpful technical footnotes: "a gemfathom is equal to 183 of your earth centimeters and thus 100 -" "LOOK HE DOESN'T NEED TO KNOW THAT IT'S NOT GERMANE"
* Once they've actually got the food thing sorted out, he continues making up new nutritional deficits and ailments to slow them down, so every episode involves a stop for food wherein he "gets lost," tries to contact home, etc. He learns... things about Modern Gem Culture, I don't know. Insert the Homeworld Is At War With Something Worse And Losing theory here?
* When Jasper and Peridot finally catch on that the forcefields don't work on Steven, Jasper's initial "containment plan" of just kind of carrying him around is compromised by his insistence upon passive-aggressively-but-also-sincerely singing songs about friendship, hugging her, playing with her hair, etc. Her Plan B, making Lapis carry him, is scrapped because Lapis and Steven enjoy this and that also bothers her.
Peridot eventually invents rope.
* Pearl is working feverishly to reverse-engineer the finger and use its technology to convert Greg's van into a spaceship capable of catching up with the rest of the hand. This will allow Greg to actually fly into outer space - you know, like in the song? That song about your van, you also drive it into a human vascular organ at one point? - so she doesn't know what he's even complaining about.
She has stolen Mayor Dewey's van for parts (Dewey can't bring himself to object). Connie has additionally stolen her dad's car for parts (she will be grounded FOREVER and packed away to RESIDENTIAL PRE-PRE-PRE-MED HELL-SCHOOL when he notices it's gone, but that's okay! She has several plans for this eventuality and -). Greg has sneaked Connie's dad's car back into the driveway under the cover of darkness.
Garnet and Lion have stolen every single F-22 Raptor (there were supposed to be 187, but one of them turned out to be cardboard; Garnet grabbed it just in case), and Amethyst is just stealing basically whatever (she stole the Cool Kids).
Connie is not supposed to be on board when they take off; she obviously is.
* Steven is squabbling with Peridot about the leash (she progressed from inventing rope to inventing toddler harnesses, a major breakthrough which she intends to patent) and uses it to wrap her up and trip her. She falls on her face, accidentally activates an escape pod, and crash-lands on a hostile planet. Jasper and Lapis are bad at computers, so Peridot tries to walk Steven through piloting over the phone. He inevitably crashes the now-fingerless Hand and escapes, and somehow finally manages to contact Pearl and tell her where he is. She tells him to hide from the Homeworld gems until they get there.
And then we have, like, something like this with Lapis? And possibly he finds Jasper's cracked gem someplace, or Peridot entirely limbless, and he's like, welp.
And then there's some kind of backstory dump, and this part is obviously Peridot's. Jasper doesn't get to help, she has robonoids for that.
* So he's still with the Homeworld gems when the ship shows up, and... I don't know at that point.
* I actually just want someone to redraw all of Alcantara and Zykey's panels but with Jasper and Peridot, obviously hating each other. Particularly Alcantara's self-aggrandizing backstory segment.
