A dream

May. 25th, 2015 09:31 pm
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ELF WIZARD KID IN A REALLY EARNEST YA NOVEL: We all need to work together as a team to defeat the giant eyeball from space!

EVERYONE ELSE: Can't, we are the cast of Cyteen. In an AU set in one of the flying orgy-castles on the Ringworld.


JOHN EGBERT: i'm here, too!


JOHN: but in this i'm a depressed azi belonging to ari 1, and my powers are just kind of... ambiguously pizza-based? :(

ELF WIZARD KID: Okay, this is all pretty bad, but I'm the protagonist and I'm sure that my book is going to have a happy ending, so I'm going to just summon the big eyeball to destroy us right now, which will force the narrative to come up with a deus ex machina!

ME, READING THIS NONEXISTENT YA NOVEL: Uh, wait, I just remembered that this book was the last in a three-book series which was originally about this wizard kid and two others time-travelling around and fighting a bad necromancer known for his habit of breaking the fourth wall and carelessly summoning monsters he can't control. Is this kid about to become the necromancer and form a time loop?

*Jake and Roxy show up with a spaceship and destroy the eyeball.*

ELF WIZARD KID: My plan to cause a deus ex machina worked! I'm the hero!

ROXY: john wtf stop being addicted to pizza which is in fact a dangerous drug

ME, READING THIS NONEXISTENT YA NOVEL: This series disappointed me and I'm going to blog angrily about it - oh, wait there's actually a fourth book I haven't read, better read that one first.
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Dreamed that Ari 2 found Calliope and Caliborn and was studying them. She and Caliborn got along pretty well.
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Most of my nightmares are about lying on my back unable to move while something bad happens over me: I've been stabbed in the chest and am too weak to get up and the Bad Guy is about to stab my eye (I once started talking in my sleep during a dream like this and scared elongated_tito, who was in the same room), or someone's doing surgery on me and I'm still awake but can't move, or I'm hiding between two objects hoping the bad guy in the room doesn't look down, or I'm trying to use an immateriality charm that'll protect me from the RAIN OF KNIVES but if I move even a little... etc.

Or I've just fallen down and lost motor control while trying to do something important. I have occasional anxiety dreams like that: trying to walk but falling down every few steps, not being able to use my hands or talk. But this is usually just annoying or mildly frightening without the lying-on-my-back aspect - that's where it turns into something I'd classify as a nightmare.

The thing is, unless there's some childhood incident I've totally forgotten, I do not have significant real-life trauma like this. I never ended up lying on my back during any of my dumb kid fights, and the only time I recall someone actually knocking me completely off my feet, I landed on my side. And my three official Worst Traumas did not involve any physical violence. I think these nightmares are about another nightmare.

Read more... )
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I dreamed about his new show that's basically just the dude being upset that women liked Madoka. A bunch of magical girls are at a magical girl boarding school, and each episode is about their vicious in-fighting, usually culminating in at least one death. Which is the purpose of the school - there can be only three magical girls at a time.

It takes a few episodes for the deaths to start. We're initially introduced to three specific girls as the protagonists, with one in particular, who's Robin Hood-themed and has invisibility powers, being set up as the heroine. A couple episodes in, Robin is thrown into conflict with one of the other two, panics, and kills her.

When she calms down, she immediately starts rationalizing what she did to herself and the two or three other kids who talk to her. Then, to drive home the point that this is not the first time Robin has killed another child, she finishes up the episode by killing three other girls.

There's a flashback episode about a girl with some sort of healing power, who we haven't seen at the school yet - we assume she's about to be recruited and will be the transfer student who becomes the new protagonist. She's trans and living with another trans girl, and it's pretty cute right until the other girl is horribly murdered. Then we move forward forty years and find out that healing-girl is the evil dean.
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Relatedly, the other night I dreamed that Caliborn had created a creepy glitchy puppet-dimension with The Power Of His Artist Soul, populated by living cloth puppets of various characters/real people which did his bidding.

The puppets didn't necessarily like it, and maintained some character traits of the people they were formed after, but were definitely not those people and were not able to disobey Caliborn. Very few of the puppets were Homestuck characters - there was I think a Yukio Mishima one? And most of the SDR2 cast, which makes more sense.

But he did have a puppet version of Andrew Hussie. He had sex with the Hussie puppet.

me upon waking: ...the guy did pretty much bring this upon himself.
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which also somehow involved me coming up with a gemsona for a Steven Universe RP?

I looked it up to see what might qualify as a gemstone that was commonly found in limestone caves, because Kentucky. There was a list on Wikipedia in which the third and fourth entries were stones called "Stunko" and "Junko."

me: But which to choose...?

I went with Stunko because I didn't want anyone thinking I was RPing as Mizuno Junko or Enoshima Junko. Could be confusing.
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Last night I had an incredibly nasty and violent dream about a war between a bunch of Kentucky appellate judges and several different groups of fairies/yokai/xian/supernatural creatures - regular American Fairy Art-type fliff-winged fairies, kelpies, tengu, and a small group of exiled sort-of-nāga-kelpies whose Queen was the human hero's BFF throughout most of the story, then backstabbed her to become the final boss.

The human woman defeated her and let her live, but shortly afterwards another group of sort-of-nāga-kelpies killed her, and the others came to the heroine to ask her to help them seek revenge, which she of course did.

me, immediately upon waking: okay that's mostly pretty cool but why the judges

me, ten minutes later: like, i would have understood dan jack combs's presence, but he wasn't even there.

me, twenty minutes later: It was a war between Courts. Fuck this bullshit, I am having my subconscious surgically removed.
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I have a lot of anxiety dreams where I’m in Japan and have forgotten how to say basic stuff in Japanese. Last night I dreamed I was in Shinjuku and very upset with myself because I couldn’t remember 1) “shitsurei shimasu,” which means “excuse me,” and 2) “taiyaki,” which means “a fried pastry shaped like a fish and usually filled with sweet bean paste or cream.”

Also the plot of Battlefield Terra was going on, but I was more upset that I couldn’t remember about fish pastries.

Edit: You need to understand that Battlefield Terra happening in Shinjuku is an extremely funny thing to contemplate. Really, putting any emotionally-intense disaster narrative in Shinjuku is fucking hilarious. It’s too bad anime doesn’t take advantage of the absurdity of this situation the way it should.


*nearby, a man in a scarf awkwardly ignores this while evincing an intense and joyless preoccupation with some pastel macarons*

*also nearby: a wall made entirely of white plush pomeranian toys for some goddamn reason, it’s terrifying*
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Dreamed that Fenris refused to participate in a DLC campaign which had been written by Paarfi.

Hawke: dude no

Hawke: you can’t just leave the party because you don’t like the *narrative voice*

Fenris: i definitely can

#Also Kefka from FFVI was there #which actually makes more sense now that I'm awake.
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I dreamed that the cats had all been digitized and I could turn Dubiety off, so making him vanish, drive to the vet, and then open the Cat App on my phone and re-materialize him there without any drama. And I could get into the raws and alter his personal preferences and stuff, so he’d poop in the box and not on the floor and so on.

I found this pretty upsetting, and wasn’t sure how long my cat had been digitized, or what had happened to the original one, or if there had ever been a “real” Dubiety the Cat at all.

But look: can I do this to myself, get into my own raws and figure out what’s wrong there. Or switch myself off while someone else handles it for me.
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A while ago the cat turned the TV on. I was taking a nap, and before waking up completely had managed to get into my shoes and grab my phone. My intention was to climb out the bedroom window and observe the TV-watching housebreakers from the dark obscurity of the front yard, then call 911 and retreat to the relative safety of the prepper neighbors' house while I awaited the forces of justice.

I cracked the window and the cold air woke me up. I went out and turned the TV off. Cat got a can of food for being a jackass.
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Last night I dreamed about a horrific new installment in the Dangan Ronpa series which was a crossover with Chrono Trigger and Kushiel's Dart. Phedre was the protagonist, Joscelin was the first to be murdered, and Frog was Monobear, but with big mantis pincers.

This note was not, in fact, cheerful. Sorry.
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I dreamed last night that I was a swamp fairy whose magical swamp was located next door to the genetic engineering corporation from Cyteen. Dubiety the Cat had just died, but one of the geneticists had predicted his death, with science, and had prepared five "replacement cats" for me.

Four of them looked exactly like him but were different sizes, and he'd tagged them "Micro-Dubiety," "Mini-Dubiety," "Plain Dubiety," and "Mega-Dubiety." The fifth one was a dog. He'd gotten confused.

I quickly determined that all of them were, somehow, Dubiety's reincarnation at different stages of his journey towards Enlightenment, the dog being the one which came "chronologically" directly after his previous incarnation.

Dog-Dubiety followed me around the swamp on my fairy errands, because he had retained Original-Dubiety's clingy anxiety, but the cats all wandered off. They had gained the self-assurance and wisdom necessary to Walk By Themselves, the natural goal of all cat-souls, and it was my task to make certain that Dog-Dubiety did the same, so preventing a time paradox.

This dream means I need to stop reading both Homestuck and pseuicides.
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Last night I dreamed my SBURB world was the Land of Grade School and Surgery, and my quest involved performing emergency surgery on Maury Chaykin using only the items which one might find grade schoolers using in art class, in order to save the A&E adaptation of Nero Wolfe.

Chaykin was conscious and fretfully criticizing the way I was handling things in-character. I got Elmers Glue on his lungs.
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Last night I dreamed that Caliborn took over all possible universes and turned them into an anime high school. The kind with the sexy student council with the self-important machinations and dark secrets that fuck shit up for everyone else. He and the Felt were the student council.

This is probably how Homestuck will actually end.
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I've never played Dragon Age, and decided to rectify that in a dream last night. This spell was usable.

Me in the dream: Hahaha wow, no wonder this series is so popular.
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I dreamed that a little boy was searching a video game for his father, and I was with him in the guise of the corgi who follows you around in Rift. He found his father, but he was moving around in ways that did not sync up to his walk animation, and the boy couldn't get close enough to him to hug him, and I kept losing small amounts of HP.

I finally realized that the animations and dialog for the "Find Father" sequence had somehow been applied to a Rare mob, a giant alligator with a distinctive movement pattern and AOE attack that I'd fought before. I had to kill it, presumably with some secret corgi jutsu, just as the boy was about to hug his "father." He dropped an alligator-tooth necklace that raised spell attack power.

Why was the alligator wearing an alligator tooth necklace, who knows.
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It was several years later and people were still sharing horrified little stories about what a negligent administrator Dumbledore was. The dream forgot that the series was set in England, so a lot of the stories were about him forgetting to pay insurance bills, and the professors finding they had no coverage at inopportune moments.

Also, Mindfang had been a professor. Possibly all of the ancestors - the Handmaid and the Dolorosa were also there. Going to assume that in this AU my subconscious made up, she lost her arm because of some problem Dumbledore caused.

To get this dream even more thematically off-track, the Dolorosa was Lord English. She tricked us all! She seduced Porrim and turned her to the side of evil. At that point in the dream I was Kanaya, running around anxiously trying to figure out a way to get the Dolorosa contained before she turned all the students at the juku where I used to work evil. The juku was re-organizing as a wizarding school.
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Fuck this I am trading my body in for a better model.

Had a long dream about a planet where, though space travel is common and most people are cyborgs, the hereditary ruling class model their lives off of Heian-era Japan. A boy from an old-money family has vision so poor that he is essentially blind, but his family's prohibitions against the use of most modern technology mean that he can't even wear glasses.

The boy sneaks off to the spaceport a lot with the help of an older girl whose family comes from off-planet. They're involved with a vaguely-Hutt-esque trade consortium, and she's working on her pilot's license, and plans to take out a loan from them and get a cargo ship when she's old enough.

When she does so, she also takes out enough to get the boy a limited prosthesis that will help him get around and read, so he can go with her. (They hope to eventually earn enough for a better one that will give him near-normal vision.) They sneak him out of the house during a ceremony involving his mother taking a second or third husband (not very Heian, folks), and get him to the dystopic big-box-store cyborg shop, where he gets what looks like just Sollux's glasses. They hook into little ports installed behind his ears, with a tool that looks suspiciously like a Piercing Pagoda ear-piercing gun.

They're both very dubious about all this. The glasses do work, though - in places with sensors with open feeds they can hook into, meaning that they'll only be usable to him in places like ships and spaceports. They figure that this is fine, since he's leaving with her, anyway. They'll get him something better later on.

On the way to check out her new ship, though, his Mom shows up in her combat furisode (okay) and tries to take him back. "Mom why do you even have a laser rifle, we have bullshit cultural prohibitions on laser rifles. And you never let me have a laser rifle." "Taro you're blind."

They make it, but the ship is tied up in dock due to his mom's demands that they return him, given that he's still a minor. The Hutts are not very sympathetic to either side of this argument. When I woke up, he, the captain, and some of the rest of the crew were boredly sewing stuffed animals based on the local wildlife to sell to tourists at the spaceport, to make some money while they wait for takeoff clearance.
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Dreamed about one of those rich manga families whose financial success depends upon their practice of sacrificing the occasional child to some supernatural horror with which they have made an unholy pact. They had a tentacle monster in a swimming pool. They tricked their obligatory black-sheep yanki boy with the leather jacket and dubious hair into going up to the edge of the water, allowing the monster to grab him.

The monster turned out to just want the kid to study the environmental sciences with an emphasis on water quality. When I woke up, he was at a seminar about low-tech methods of sewage filtration used in developing countries, being held in a pleasant coastal town popular among retirees for its hot springs. He felt this situation to be all wrong for his image.

May 2015

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