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it is time....... to be a HUGE TROLL
Aug. 19th, 2015 12:21 am(okay? okay.)
A WIZARD OF EARTHSEA IS WAY BETTER THAN EITHER THE DISPOSSESSED OR THE LEFT HAND OF DARKNESS
LEGUIN'S SHORT FICTION IS BETTER THAN HER NOVELS BECAUSE NOVELS ALLOW HER TO SPEND TOO MUCH TIME ON CHARACTERIZATION, WHICH IS MOSTLY JUST "SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION," AND THAT'S RARELY NARRATIVELY COMPELLING, OKAY
ANNNNNND HER NON-SFF SHORT FICTION IS HONESTLY ON AVERAGE BETTER THAN THE SFF STUFF, THOUGH HER LIKE, TOP FIVE, THOSE ARE PROBABLY SFF
(ASIDE FROM OMELAS (YOU CAN'T WALK AWAY FROM THE ONES WHO WALK AWAY FROM OMELAS, INCOMPREHENSIBLE THEMATIC SEA KNOWN AS THE "SFF GENRE," IT'S INESCAPABLE AND IT HATES YOU AND IT'S GONNA OUTLAST YOU) THREE OR FOUR OF THE TOP FIVE ARE PROBABLY IN A FISHERMAN OF THE INLAND SEA, BUT I'M UNCOMFORTABLE CHOOSING)
(okay that's it for leguin, and, uh)
THE GOBLIN EMPEROR WASN'T VERY GOOD, LIKE, EVEN IF YOU LIKE THAT KIND OF H/C IDFIC STUFF THERE'S MORE-EMOTIONALLY-AFFECTING EXAMPLES OF IT IN LIKE THE FIRST COUPLE PAGES OF THE AO3'S HOMESTUCK TAG WHEN YOU SORT IT BY EITHER KUDOS OR BOOKMARKS
AND STEVEN UNIVERSE IS ALL-AROUND BETTER THAN THE ANCILLARY NOUN BOOKS AT >60% OF THE THINGS WHICH THE ANCILLARY NOUN BOOKS ARE TRYING TO ACHIEVE
THESE BOOKS ARE NOT GOOD AT DIALOG, AND ONLY INTERMITTENTLY GOOD AT CHARACTERIZATION, WHICH RENDERS THEIR PRETTY-COMPELLING AND -BELIEVABLE WORLDBUILDING CLINICAL AND PREACHY, AND ROBS THEIR POTENTIALLY-EXTREMELY-COMPELLING INDIVIDUAL EMOTIONAL ARCS OF ALL THE ACTUAL EMOTION
BREQ'S A SHITTY CHOICE FOR SOLE POV CHARACTER, SERIOUSLY, SHE SHOULD BE A FIGURE MOSTLY VIEWED AT A LUSTFUL/SEETHING/OVERAWED DISTANCE BY OTHER PEOPLE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT HER DEAL IS LIKE SHE'S SOME KIND OF A FRANCIS LYMOND, HOW WAS THIS NOT OBVIOUS
THE FACT THAT ANCILLARY SWORD DIDN'T AT LEAST SWITCH OVER TO TISARWAT'S POV WHILE BREQ WAS OFF AT SUMMER CAMP IS A TOTAL WASTE OF A GOOD TISARWAT, I MEAN COME ON
(homestuck)
MOOMINVALLEY IN NOVEMBER IS ABOUT TWO HUNDRED PAGES LONG AND EASILY ACHIEVES 95% OF ANDREW HUSSIE'S APPARENT GOALS FOR ACT 6 OF HOMESTUCK, WHICH IS GONNA BE LONGER THAN PI BEFORE IT'S FUCKING OVER, WE WILL NEVER ESCAPE THIS INCREASINGLY-SELF-LOATHING RECURSIVE HELL-NARRATIVE
YET HOMESTUCK STILL DESERVES THE HUGO AND NEBULA AWARDS MORE THAN PROBABLY ANYTHING THAT'S WON EITHER SINCE 4/13/2009, BUT THE PEOPLE WHO VOTE IN THOSE AWARDS ARE JUST AS SMUGLY INSULAR ABOUT WHAT COUNTS AS "GOOD SFF" AS THE "LITERARY FICTION" PEOPLE WHOM THEY SO BITTERLY RESENT
SO THEY REFUSE TO READ IT BECAUSE IT'S GOT DICK JOKES AND EMBEDDED FLASH GAMES AND AN ENTHUSIASTIC FOLLOWING AMONG PRECISELY THE PEOPLE WHOM "SERIOUS SFF FANS" OF EVERY MAJOR POLITICAL STRIPE LEAST RESPECTS
FUCK US
I REGRET US
(AND HUSSIE'S JUST GOING TO KEEP POSTING OPAQUE HORSE JOKES ON TWITTER AND HATING THE WORLD FOREVER, WHICH IS NOT AN UNREASONABLE REACTION!, BUT IT'S GENERALLY DESTRUCTIVE AND SELF-DESTRUCTIVE AND Y'KNOW, UNGRACEFUL. AND I WOULD LIKE TO OFFER HIM SOME OF THE DRUGS I'M A LITTLE HIGH ON RIGHT NOW, I GUESS?
JUST, LIKE, TAKE A BREAK AND MAYBE WRITE LITERAL GODDAMN CON AIR FANFIC UNDER A PSEUDONYM OR SOME SHIT UNTIL YOUR HEAD'S IN A BETTER PLACE? TAKE SOME BRAIN-LASIX AND FLUSH THE RESULTING FLUIDS DOWN A SEPARATE NARRATIVE. THEN MAYBE SEGUE THAT ONE BACK INTO HOMESTUCK IF YOU WANT. BLOW SOME GODDAMN MINDS.)
(/homestuck)
THE HUGO AND NEBULA AWARDS ARE PRESENTLY WALLOWING IN A STATE OF SUCH DEEP INANITY AS TO BE USEFUL ONLY FOR MAKING PRIOR WINNERS FEEL BAD ABOUT THEMSELVES - WHICH OF COURSE IS THE WAY OF MOST ARTISTIC AWARDS MOST OF THE TIME! - BUT JESUS PEOPLE WE HAVE THE FUCKING INTERNET NOW, AND YOU'RE ALL NERDS WHO ARE ON THE INTERNET ALL THE TIME, IT SHOULD BE OBVIOUS TO YOU THAT YOU'RE NOT VOTING FOR "THE BEST SFF BOOKS" YOU'RE VOTING FOR "THE BOOKS MOST APPEALING TO READERS OF A COUPLE OF OVERCOOKED AND SOON-TO-BE-RIGHTFULLY-ABANDONED SUBGENRES OF SFF"
SO THE PUPPIES THING IS NOT AT ALL SURPRISING, IT'S BARELY EVEN A THING
THIS "COMMUNITY" IS SO INSULAR AND LAZY THAT MEDIOCRE TROLLS LIKE VOX DAY AND MEDIOCRE DICKHEADS LIKE AJA ROMANO ARE REGULARLY ABLE TO HOLD PEOPLE'S ATTENTION, WHILE THE MULTIDIMENSIONAL SHITARRAY THAT IS WINTERFOX WAS ABLE TO OPERATE COMFORTABLY FOR AN EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME JUST BECAUSE EVERYTHING ELSE GOING ON IN HER GENERAL VICINITY WAS SO GODDAMN BORING
LIKE "LET'S ARGUE ABOUT WHETHER SLASH IS APPROPRIATIVE FOR THE THOUSANDTH FUCKING TIME, AND WHY THE GENRE'S FULL OF MONARCHIES EVEN IN SPACE, AND COMPLAIN ABOUT YA DYSTOPIAS AND ALSO DEFEND YA DYSTOPIAS, AND MOURN FOR OUR YOUTH FOR OUR SEPARATE INDIVIDUAL IDEOLOGICAL REASONS
BUT LET'S NOT READ ANYTHING BUT THESE FIVE OR SIX GODDAMN THINGS AND REMIXES OF AND REFLEXIVE REACTIONS TO THESE SPECIFIC THINGS"
LIKE YOU KNOW WHEN CERTAIN TEENAGE BOYS DON'T HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO, AND THEY START DARING EACH OTHER TO PUNCH THEMSELVES IN THE FUCKING FACE, AND INEVITABLY SOMEONE'S GOT TO GO TO THE ACTUAL ER
FUCK US, YOU KNOW?
(deep breath)
A WIZARD OF EARTHSEA IS WAY BETTER THAN EITHER THE DISPOSSESSED OR THE LEFT HAND OF DARKNESS
LEGUIN'S SHORT FICTION IS BETTER THAN HER NOVELS BECAUSE NOVELS ALLOW HER TO SPEND TOO MUCH TIME ON CHARACTERIZATION, WHICH IS MOSTLY JUST "SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION," AND THAT'S RARELY NARRATIVELY COMPELLING, OKAY
ANNNNNND HER NON-SFF SHORT FICTION IS HONESTLY ON AVERAGE BETTER THAN THE SFF STUFF, THOUGH HER LIKE, TOP FIVE, THOSE ARE PROBABLY SFF
(ASIDE FROM OMELAS (YOU CAN'T WALK AWAY FROM THE ONES WHO WALK AWAY FROM OMELAS, INCOMPREHENSIBLE THEMATIC SEA KNOWN AS THE "SFF GENRE," IT'S INESCAPABLE AND IT HATES YOU AND IT'S GONNA OUTLAST YOU) THREE OR FOUR OF THE TOP FIVE ARE PROBABLY IN A FISHERMAN OF THE INLAND SEA, BUT I'M UNCOMFORTABLE CHOOSING)
(okay that's it for leguin, and, uh)
THE GOBLIN EMPEROR WASN'T VERY GOOD, LIKE, EVEN IF YOU LIKE THAT KIND OF H/C IDFIC STUFF THERE'S MORE-EMOTIONALLY-AFFECTING EXAMPLES OF IT IN LIKE THE FIRST COUPLE PAGES OF THE AO3'S HOMESTUCK TAG WHEN YOU SORT IT BY EITHER KUDOS OR BOOKMARKS
AND STEVEN UNIVERSE IS ALL-AROUND BETTER THAN THE ANCILLARY NOUN BOOKS AT >60% OF THE THINGS WHICH THE ANCILLARY NOUN BOOKS ARE TRYING TO ACHIEVE
THESE BOOKS ARE NOT GOOD AT DIALOG, AND ONLY INTERMITTENTLY GOOD AT CHARACTERIZATION, WHICH RENDERS THEIR PRETTY-COMPELLING AND -BELIEVABLE WORLDBUILDING CLINICAL AND PREACHY, AND ROBS THEIR POTENTIALLY-EXTREMELY-COMPELLING INDIVIDUAL EMOTIONAL ARCS OF ALL THE ACTUAL EMOTION
BREQ'S A SHITTY CHOICE FOR SOLE POV CHARACTER, SERIOUSLY, SHE SHOULD BE A FIGURE MOSTLY VIEWED AT A LUSTFUL/SEETHING/OVERAWED DISTANCE BY OTHER PEOPLE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT HER DEAL IS LIKE SHE'S SOME KIND OF A FRANCIS LYMOND, HOW WAS THIS NOT OBVIOUS
THE FACT THAT ANCILLARY SWORD DIDN'T AT LEAST SWITCH OVER TO TISARWAT'S POV WHILE BREQ WAS OFF AT SUMMER CAMP IS A TOTAL WASTE OF A GOOD TISARWAT, I MEAN COME ON
(homestuck)
MOOMINVALLEY IN NOVEMBER IS ABOUT TWO HUNDRED PAGES LONG AND EASILY ACHIEVES 95% OF ANDREW HUSSIE'S APPARENT GOALS FOR ACT 6 OF HOMESTUCK, WHICH IS GONNA BE LONGER THAN PI BEFORE IT'S FUCKING OVER, WE WILL NEVER ESCAPE THIS INCREASINGLY-SELF-LOATHING RECURSIVE HELL-NARRATIVE
YET HOMESTUCK STILL DESERVES THE HUGO AND NEBULA AWARDS MORE THAN PROBABLY ANYTHING THAT'S WON EITHER SINCE 4/13/2009, BUT THE PEOPLE WHO VOTE IN THOSE AWARDS ARE JUST AS SMUGLY INSULAR ABOUT WHAT COUNTS AS "GOOD SFF" AS THE "LITERARY FICTION" PEOPLE WHOM THEY SO BITTERLY RESENT
SO THEY REFUSE TO READ IT BECAUSE IT'S GOT DICK JOKES AND EMBEDDED FLASH GAMES AND AN ENTHUSIASTIC FOLLOWING AMONG PRECISELY THE PEOPLE WHOM "SERIOUS SFF FANS" OF EVERY MAJOR POLITICAL STRIPE LEAST RESPECTS
FUCK US
I REGRET US
(AND HUSSIE'S JUST GOING TO KEEP POSTING OPAQUE HORSE JOKES ON TWITTER AND HATING THE WORLD FOREVER, WHICH IS NOT AN UNREASONABLE REACTION!, BUT IT'S GENERALLY DESTRUCTIVE AND SELF-DESTRUCTIVE AND Y'KNOW, UNGRACEFUL. AND I WOULD LIKE TO OFFER HIM SOME OF THE DRUGS I'M A LITTLE HIGH ON RIGHT NOW, I GUESS?
JUST, LIKE, TAKE A BREAK AND MAYBE WRITE LITERAL GODDAMN CON AIR FANFIC UNDER A PSEUDONYM OR SOME SHIT UNTIL YOUR HEAD'S IN A BETTER PLACE? TAKE SOME BRAIN-LASIX AND FLUSH THE RESULTING FLUIDS DOWN A SEPARATE NARRATIVE. THEN MAYBE SEGUE THAT ONE BACK INTO HOMESTUCK IF YOU WANT. BLOW SOME GODDAMN MINDS.)
(/homestuck)
THE HUGO AND NEBULA AWARDS ARE PRESENTLY WALLOWING IN A STATE OF SUCH DEEP INANITY AS TO BE USEFUL ONLY FOR MAKING PRIOR WINNERS FEEL BAD ABOUT THEMSELVES - WHICH OF COURSE IS THE WAY OF MOST ARTISTIC AWARDS MOST OF THE TIME! - BUT JESUS PEOPLE WE HAVE THE FUCKING INTERNET NOW, AND YOU'RE ALL NERDS WHO ARE ON THE INTERNET ALL THE TIME, IT SHOULD BE OBVIOUS TO YOU THAT YOU'RE NOT VOTING FOR "THE BEST SFF BOOKS" YOU'RE VOTING FOR "THE BOOKS MOST APPEALING TO READERS OF A COUPLE OF OVERCOOKED AND SOON-TO-BE-RIGHTFULLY-ABANDONED SUBGENRES OF SFF"
SO THE PUPPIES THING IS NOT AT ALL SURPRISING, IT'S BARELY EVEN A THING
THIS "COMMUNITY" IS SO INSULAR AND LAZY THAT MEDIOCRE TROLLS LIKE VOX DAY AND MEDIOCRE DICKHEADS LIKE AJA ROMANO ARE REGULARLY ABLE TO HOLD PEOPLE'S ATTENTION, WHILE THE MULTIDIMENSIONAL SHITARRAY THAT IS WINTERFOX WAS ABLE TO OPERATE COMFORTABLY FOR AN EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME JUST BECAUSE EVERYTHING ELSE GOING ON IN HER GENERAL VICINITY WAS SO GODDAMN BORING
LIKE "LET'S ARGUE ABOUT WHETHER SLASH IS APPROPRIATIVE FOR THE THOUSANDTH FUCKING TIME, AND WHY THE GENRE'S FULL OF MONARCHIES EVEN IN SPACE, AND COMPLAIN ABOUT YA DYSTOPIAS AND ALSO DEFEND YA DYSTOPIAS, AND MOURN FOR OUR YOUTH FOR OUR SEPARATE INDIVIDUAL IDEOLOGICAL REASONS
BUT LET'S NOT READ ANYTHING BUT THESE FIVE OR SIX GODDAMN THINGS AND REMIXES OF AND REFLEXIVE REACTIONS TO THESE SPECIFIC THINGS"
LIKE YOU KNOW WHEN CERTAIN TEENAGE BOYS DON'T HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO, AND THEY START DARING EACH OTHER TO PUNCH THEMSELVES IN THE FUCKING FACE, AND INEVITABLY SOMEONE'S GOT TO GO TO THE ACTUAL ER
FUCK US, YOU KNOW?
(deep breath)
