I Am Completely Serious

Great, now I have to think of them as minor characters from His Dark Materials instead of Bioshock mobs.

Got my bitcoins back. I will be upping my IRA contributions slightly for the remainder of the fiscal year.

I invested in magic internet money used mainly by the international drug trade, and am now reinvesting the proceeds in Vanguard index funds via a Roth IRA. Roth IRAs are usually better for tax purposes, you see. I also bought a plant, and may get some new work slacks.

The plant's a kratom plant.

I bought about $100 in Bitcoins last year, which came to roughly 10 of them. I then left them in an Instawallet and kind of forgot about them. Mentally, I was not in a great state to be making investments just then! It would nonetheless have been the most successful one I've ever made, as 10 Bitcoins are presently ostensibly worth about $1,200 USD.

I unfortunately only remembered that I'd done this when I heard that Instawallet had been hacked and shut down. There's a claims process in place, and fortunately, even when extremely sick, I still keep records compulsively, so I still had the purchase receipt and stuff.

When I tried to file a claim, though, I was given a message saying that they had no record of my account. I was instead told to file a "missing wallet" report, which I did.

I'm guessing that "please file a claim" translates to "your money has gone into the sun" (no one's yet gotten any money back), and that "please file a missing wallet report" translates to "your money has gone into a black hole." And yeah, I figured that that might be a risk when investing in a totally unregulated market! That's why I only bought $100 worth of the stuff.

So, I guess I'm saying that I reserve the right to be at least as ticked off as if someone had stolen $100 from me, if not quite as much so as I would be had someone stolen $1,200.