Jun. 26th, 2015

Jun. 26th, 2015 01:17 pm
Me: No, I do not really want to go to an outdoor event while it's raining.

Dad: But it's Hatfield and McCoy Days! It's an important part of your heritage!

Me: Is that what this is? Okay, I am not going to a festival that's ostensibly for murderers.

Dad: Oh, they don't come out in the rain.
Me: The lab technician asked me why they were taking all my blood out -

Mom: They didn't take all of it.

Me: - and I just told her it was because I was turning into the wolfman.

Mom: I don't think that will happen.
A woman is being hunted by people who will make millions more of her. She is not done growing to her final form, which is probably a dragon. She escapes into the sky in a small plastic laundry basket attached to a hot air balloon, with her python, which falls asleep wrapped around her.

The python is breathing out something that will make the woman sleep unaging until a safer era, and will fill their balloon and keep them safely in the sky until it comes. The woman covers them both in a blue blanket before she falls asleep herself.

Jun. 26th, 2015 01:39 pm
I’m glad we’re getting all our Earthbound references squared away here. Calliope is Paula and she’s going to lead us in prayer for Homestuck to finally end.
I use too much turmeric and don't always wipe the counter down, and now obviously his white spots are orange. Stay off the counter, dumbass.

Jun. 26th, 2015 04:00 pm
My body's already-limited ability to thermoregulate is entirely lost when I allow the Bad Guys to draw ten whole vials of my blood.


Jun. 26th, 2015 07:55 pm
That was too much blood and I am definitely going to die.

Jun. 26th, 2015 08:21 pm
My main concern about my imminent death is just that probably no one else will tolerate my cat's bullshit.
How to cope with health crash:

1) "Okay so I really need to be careful about making sure I have enough vitamins given my apparent inability to digest normal-people foods."

2) Go on Amazon to see if I can order vitamins in bulk cheaper than at store.

3) Pick out four cat-related items because I am worrying about my constantly-sick cat, who is acting sick again today.

4) About to check out: "Wait."

5) "Okay the vitamins are not really cheaper on Amazon than at the drugstore, but here is a good sale on bioperine?"

6) Order a bunch of cat stuff and a small bottle of bioperine.

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