AU where in The Return they just ignore the other gems, grab him, and leave. The gems form Alexandrite and pull the ship's finger (off), but the Homeworld gems get away regardless. Alexandrite is left jumping up and down on the beach waving at least half of her fists in the air.
And then there are let's say five episodes where he's trying to escape and keeps breaking stuff. The ship probably loses one more finger per episode, plus there's the episode focused on Pearl building a new ship.
* Lapis invents toilets and showers for Steven, and hassles Jasper into stopping at the Ice Planet Hoth or somewhere to get him food. Jasper has no idea how that works, and brings back, like, a half-ton of fish-blood ice cream. They keep having to make more stops as Peridot tries to use Science Finger Sensors figure out what he's supposed to eat.
Eventually Jasper frustratedly brings him down with her and tells him to point to things he can potentially eat. He tries to teach her conflict resolution skills and fails, shields her from a pissed-off native/monster at least once.
* This is basically just an Aqua Knight AU with Jasper as Alcantara and I'm sorry.
* At some point this scene happens. Peridot can supply the helpful technical footnotes: "a gemfathom is equal to 183 of your earth centimeters and thus 100 -" "LOOK HE DOESN'T NEED TO KNOW THAT IT'S NOT GERMANE"
* Once they've actually got the food thing sorted out, he continues making up new nutritional deficits and ailments to slow them down, so every episode involves a stop for food wherein he "gets lost," tries to contact home, etc. He learns... things about Modern Gem Culture, I don't know. Insert the Homeworld Is At War With Something Worse And Losing theory here?
* When Jasper and Peridot finally catch on that the forcefields don't work on Steven, Jasper's initial "containment plan" of just kind of carrying him around is compromised by his insistence upon passive-aggressively-but-also-sincerely singing songs about friendship, hugging her, playing with her hair, etc. Her Plan B, making Lapis carry him, is scrapped because Lapis and Steven enjoy this and that also bothers her.
Peridot eventually invents rope.
( Read more... )
* I actually just want someone to redraw all of Alcantara and Zykey's panels but with Jasper and Peridot, obviously hating each other. Particularly Alcantara's self-aggrandizing backstory segment.
* Dragon Ball fusion dance, obviously,
* Homestuck sprite-merges, and
* that skeevy Voyager episode where the transporter scrambles Tuvok up with Neelix, making a new guy who understandably does not want to be rendered non-existy again.
The closest analogue I'm coming up on an emotional/character level is Fukki from Houshin Engi, though. He's not quite a perfect example, plot-wise? He's one of those manga cases where someone's multiple personalities had separate physical bodies and ran with separate social circles, like Piccolo/Kami in Dragon Ball and Kaos/Den in Battle Angel.
In most cases like this, once the individuals fuse, they can't freely un-fuse again, and the final person looks and mostly acts like one of the two. The situation is usually basically "Person One Absorbs Person Two's "Powers," And Maybe A Few Useful Character Traits."
Fukki's the only case I can think of in which one of the two halves was the main character, and the two people have forgotten that they used to be one person. They spend several volumes arguing with each other and building up a rivalry/rapport. The merged individual still looks exactly like the hero, like in the other cases, but he has a new name and different relationships and priorities.
Anyone have other examples?
Lou - Maid of Space
Koyomi - Thief of Void
Nova - Prince of Mind
Kaos - Bard of Heart (shut up and wear the codpiece you whiny piece of shit)
Den - Prince of Heart (Has to share his class and aspect with his awful family.)
Ido - Heir of Life
Jashugan - Mage of Doom
...I can't decide if it's funnier to think of the Nova family as Striders or Zahhaks, though. Nova just straight-up turning his kid into a centaur robot, WTG man, that is how you fucking parent.
SERIOUS BATTLE ANGEL ALITA SPOILERS: Aliens tried to contact us by sending a giant dickbot to kill us with its giant dick, because their observation of human culture led them to believe that that's pretty much how we roll.
Kishiro really doesn't get enough credit for the solidity of his worldbuilding. Never before have I encountered such a chillingly plausible first contact scenario.
Fortunately there were a couple SPACE KARATE dudes, who SYMBOLIZE SHOUNEN MANGA, because, that is how shounen manga works, it has some fucking SPACE KARATE in it. One of them became the Bodhisattva of PUNCHING STUFF IN SPACE SO HARD IT EXPLODES, but then the other, whose hair is a bunch of smaller robot dicks, PUNCHED the Bodhisattva SO HARD HE EXPLODED along with his whole temple. Then he PUNCHES the giant dickbot SO HARD IT EXPLODES.
Young vandals, this is the sort of craftsmanship to which you should aspire. This is what it looks like when a dedicated professional draws dicks all over everything.
Because James Cameron's priorities are screwed up, the movie he's been allegedly planning to make since the 90s is going to focus on motorball, aka the Inevitable Tournament Arc. This is a mistake; the motorball arc, compared to the superior Tuned arc, has few scenes in which Professor Nova mounts his head on things, cuts his head open with a buzzsaw, attaches a spare head to his stomach just in case Alita cuts off his main one (she does), or makes a merry-go-round, which is evil.
Also, no Lou, Den, or old-enough-to-talk-Koyomi.
“Well, that looks like the final boss, I guess.”
“It just looks like yet another giant robot to me… Honestly, it lacks the impact it had before.”
Given that the “before” was A GIANT PENIS FROM MERCURY
This is what “Kishiro writing himself into a corner” looks like. No, there’s a difference! You know what this means!? He planned all that crap before! The “overclocked dual-core brain” and the “Kung Fu Planet” and the “thumb wrestling so hard it leaves a crater”! That was a plan!
This is so stupid.
EXCUSE ME WHAT
Is this supposed to be some kind of commentary on laissez faire economics and - and patent law?! Mr. Kishiro, you just had a chapter where this guy fought a giant robot penis from Mercury. And now he’s coming out against libertarianism and gene patents? This is not a good way to make a point!
Chapters 76 - 77
NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE “SPACE KARATE” GUYS. DO NOT DO TWO WHOLE CHAPTERS ABOUT THE “SPACE KARATE” GUYS.
I have been trying to catch up on GUNNM: Last Order, but there are chapters missing in the scanlations. I google for it, and find message board people claiming that there aren’t any chapters missing, and the fact that it goes from 62 to 66 is due to a numbering discrepancy. This is demonstrably untrue. The beginning of 66 talks about a Sechs/Tentacle-Yankee fight that clearly isn’t the same one as the last Sechs/Tentacle-Yankee fight we saw - the one in chapter 60 - because Tentacle-Yankee says Sechs made him promise something during the fight, which did not happen in chapter 60! I am being cruelly deprived of a Sechs fight scene! I can’t even find raws! My life is harrowing.
I am a terrible person, because I am enjoying the main Gally plotline less than I am the one where Sechs gets repeatedly sexually harassed by a guy who can reasonably be nicknamed “Tentacle-Yankee.”
Though the main Gally plotline is actually suddenly awesome again! It’s still probably going to consist entirely of flashbacks and Fighting Your Jungian Double On The Astral Plane for a while longer, but that’s okay now, because it actually went to the place I’d given up on it ever going! Gally’s brain has been a chip since the first volume! She’s been a fake the whole time, just like Sechs, Elf, and Zwolf! They’ll refuse to call her “original” anymore, and will invite her to their secret Bitter Android Brain-Clone Parties! I expect awesomeness of this, Kishiro! Awesomeness and bullying!
I'd actually be kind of okay with that. I feel like Last Order is moving really slow. Over the first seven volumes of the original GUNNM, we had like six plot arcs spanning about fifteen years. That was one of the things I liked so much about it. It was a fighting manga with no filler! No monsters-of-the-day! A new, absurdly melodramatic plotline that completely breaks Alita's heart almost every volume! This was awesome.
But at seven volumes of Last Order, we've only covered a few months of time - the past three volumes have just been a couple of days. And they haven't really been eventful days, by Kishiro's usual standards. An eventful day for Alita used to be:
( cut for massive spoilers for first series, minor spoilers for Last Order )
I was trying to figure out the difference between the shape of Alita's head and the shape of Sechs's, basically, but Alita came out wonky, so I'm putting the rest of the page behind the cut.
( first kinda-big image cut )
The lower middle Sechs and Nova were just copied straight from a manga page I was looking at, so they look really flat - I'm a shitty forger. The others weren't, but the Alitas look totally wrong, and the front-view Sechs is wonky. I was extremely pleased with the 3/4-view Sechs, though, so I decided to try and draw a bigger picture like that,
( second kinda-big image cut )
Thus proving that anything pretty I draw is a fluke, I guess.
Things that are wrong with this picture:
1) Sechs's limbs are all intact for once, yet she's not jumping up in the air going like "Hahhhh!"
2) Sechs is holding that gun in an extremely wrong way. Because I know nothing about guns.
3) Sechs is extremely overqualified for flying-thing-shooting duty. The Netmen and Hunter-Warriors take care of all that, as can be determined from analysis of the circumstances of the killing of Hugo's brother in volume two and Kaos's pet bird in volume eight.
4) The buckles.
I have macaroni. Any of you guys want some? It has white cheddar. The cashier fumbled it dramatically, held it close to his eyes to examine suspiciously, and said, "White cheddar macaroni and cheese? That is amazing." He remained entirely earnest and deadpan about this the entire time he was checking me out - no smiling. Naturally, I agreed with him. I think this is the same dude who last week was talking about how he really likes hot peppers, and how Scotch bonnets are just about hot enough.
Things that got all wet due to general stupidity:
* my avocado
* my pants
* my cell phone (it's fine)
* my brand-new Fruits Basket 13 (it's not fine. Damnit.)
My back's been bothering me for about a week, but today it's been hurting nonstop, so I'm all cranky. Lying down hurts.
Important KoL quote:
As you wander through your mediocre trip, you hear music coming from the room next to you. Suddenly, you can see the music -- it's, like, floating through the air in front of you. And it looks pissed.
You get the jump on it. You hit for 98 damage.
I've been trying to write a very important post about the latest volume of Battle Angel Alita: Last Order and my feelings about Kishiro's new gaiden project and how I think Kishiro is very worried about race, but the only way he knows to deal with it is the way he deals with everything else that worries him (religion, Nikola Tesla, the space program, terrorism, psychiatry, female sexuality), that being burning things.
(the stuff he does with female sexuality is really weird)
Which is kind of interesting to see, because there isn't much manga that even thinks about it - but then, it's impossible to tell what he's trying to say. I've got no idea what it means that the queen of the German planet, with its rebel group called "Neo-Third Reich," has a black woman for a bodyguard. Nor can I explain the fact that the spoiled, largely-brainwashed, obviously-intended-to-be-the-US society is divided into two floating cities on opposite ends of a pole, one of which is all black and one of which is all white. But I'm pretty sure Kishiro thinks it means something.
I think UltraJump keeps psychiatrists on call 24/7 to make sure its artists get their stuff in on time.