I haven't read much recently. Busy working, panicking, dreaming about airplanes.

The Truth, by Terry Pratchett

I'd read this before, but I didn't remember much of it. William de Worde encounters some dwarves with a printing press and accidentally invents the newspaper, just in time for a secret conspiracy to frame the Patrician for a crime. William does not especially like the Patrician, and is not even on very good terms with truth all of the time, but nonetheless feels he'd better start investigating. It will fill some space, anyway.

I mostly enjoyed it - I mean, it's by Terry Pratchett - but this book has a lot of callbacks to earlier books. (I don't even recognize all of them! I'm a bad Discworld fan.) Also, Pratchett's usage of nonhumans-as-representatives-of-minorities is, um, pretty awkward, particularly in that it gets into What These People Need Is A Honky territory.

Petshop of Horrors: Tokyo, volumes 1-8, by Akino Matsuri

Sequel to Petshop of Horrors. Count D has moved the titular supernatural petshop to Shinjuku, where he proceeds to dispense pets and poetic justice to the people of Tokyo.

The original series was tightly episodic - with the exception of a short wrap-up arc at the end, each chapter was a self-contained story about Count D, a customer with a dark secret, a monstrous pet that the customer perceives as human, an exasperated police detective named Leon Orcot, and Orcot's grade-school-age brother Chris. Each time the pet restores some sort of karmic balance, generally violently, and each time Orcot is left confused as to exactly where that guy's torso went. There was an overarching story of sorts, but it was developed intermittently and without much special emphasis throughout the series; Orcot at one point goes through a major personal change in one line of dialog, without noticing that he's done it.

That hasn't changed in the new series, but the justice D dispenses has gotten a lot milder. In the first series, roughly half of the pets he sold destroyed their owners. That percentage is much lower in the new series - it's like he's turning into a hero-of-justice-slash-therapist-slash-confessor. There's also more comedy, and it's gotten a lot sillier. I did not much like the Santa Claus chapter.

The character dynamics are pretty much the same - Detective Orcot's role as D's frenemy is taken by an ambitious Chinese businessman named Wu Fei, who owns the building that houses D's new shop. Chris's role as peacemaker between the two is played by Wu Fei's meek assistant Chin. (Because Chin's in his fifties or sixties, a shapeshifting kitten is brought in to be the Cute Kid Who Gets In Trouble. I hate that kitten.)

Unfortunately, Wu Fei does not work as well as Orcot as a foil. He's sneaky, secretive, and cruel, which is, you know, a bit similar to D? And he's not very sympathetic, partly because he's a jerk, and partly because his motives are pretty opaque. Orcot begrudgingly liked D - possibly not entirely platonically - but understandably disapproved of the whole "serial killer" thing. Anyway, it was pretty clear why he was always hanging out at the evil pet shop.

Wu Fei doesn't like anyone, and doesn't actually mind too much about all the murders. It bugs him more that D closes early to go to bakeries. Lots of jokes about this.

So our secondary protagonist is kind of unpleasant, and it's a problem. There have been hints dropped that his grandfather had some sort of deal with D's grandfather, but it's hard to care about that? Which is also a problem, given that this storyline appears destined to become the series' main plot.

In short: I like it about half the time, and I hope that Wu Fei turns out to be a magical capybara that thinks it's human or some shit.

City of Diamond, by Jane Emerson/Doris Egan

Reread this again. Ending still unresolved cliffhanger.

Bless me, Count D, for I have sinned: Sometimes I wish Doris Egan's screenwriting career would implode so she'd write the sequel.
It appears that no one has ever written a Discworld/Petshop of Horrors crossover in which Count D sets up shop in Ankh-Morpok, becomes buddies with Sybil, and gets her to introduce him to individuals who might be interested in acquiring pets, while Vimes desperately attempts to connect him to the mysterious crimewave taking place.

Vetinari is unsupportive due to D's entirely appropriate admiration of Wuffles, and also probably because he once had some alarming arrangement with D's father. Everyone else in the Guard has, separately, been at some point seen to have brought D sweets at tea-time. Only a nonexistent talking dog is willing to help Vimes bring the Count to justice!

(For some reason I haven't figured out yet. Susan might be better, but I'm not immediately seeing how you'd get her into the shop. She's arguing with the Death of Rats while he's on his way over there, maybe.)
1) She smells really bad.

2) She poops on the floor, and her poop smells astonishingly bad. Mom calls it "distinctive." I can tell from halfway across the house when she's had a bowel movement.

2b) I usually don't need to, because she likes doing it right in front of my door.

3) She is currently taking three different kinds of medicine for the poop problem - thyroid medication and anti-inflammatories for the long term, and a short-term course of antibiotics. This is not presently helping.

4) She has clawed me in almost every conceivable place in protest against this regimen.

5) She'll be old enough to vote in April.

6) She was born in front of a TV on which Richard Nixon's funeral was being broadcast live. I'm not taking her in to get registered. I've read Petshop of Horrors, I know how this shit works.
The worm in question may actually be named "the Pentateuch Worm," or a made-up word that sounds like both, or a word composed of sounds that don't exist when you're awake. When the alarm went off this morning, I sat in bed for a few minutes trying to remember the exact name. But eventually I had to get up and get dressed, and you of course have no chance of ever recollecting a dream worm's name while in your work clothes and attempting to operate the toaster.

The Pentacle Worm lives underneath a small church in Paris, as it has for hundreds of years. It cannot leave - it is attached to the ground - and it is the only one of its kind. Neither of these things seem to bother it, as nothing ever seems to bother it. The worm has, over many years of being addressed by curious human beings, learned to talk. It looks like a human woman buried to the knees in the dirt floor.

It never speaks without being addressed; it only answers questions, in a calm monotone, looking straight ahead at nothing. Usually its answers are nonsense, grammatically correct but meaningless, and sometimes they are sensible but obviously wrong. The worm probably doesn't really understand communication, or need to. It's lived in apparent comfort under a church for centuries, without ever seeing another of its kind.

Yet sometimes you can ask it a question no one should be able to answer, and it will.

The church under which it lives is a tourist attraction, with a small formal garden in the back with white stone benches. It's in an old residential neighborhood with tidy houses on each side. (Does this actually happen in France? Do I just think that all foreign countries are Japan?) Tourists come in and excitedly ask it questions. There are no guards, and it would never occur to anyone to hurt the worm, or ask it anything dangerous.

There's a groundskeeper, a solitary old woman who lives nearby and comes off as a little sinister. She has helpers, a dozen or so children living at a little dormitory beneath the church. There have been a dozen or so children staying in that dormitory for centuries. Their parents volunteer them for a few years, and they leave when they turn thirteen.

Most of them are happy there - it's a pretty place, and their parents visit them often - but one little boy is afraid of the old woman. He's heard her saying things to the worm that sound unkind, though the worm does not answer. And he wonders - why does the worm always have children near it, anyway?

The worm lives for a few hundred years, but they say that there has been a worm alone in this basement for at least a thousand. Where do new Pentacle Worms come from? And how close is this one to the end of its lifespan?

I woke up before the dream deigned to answer these questions.

-

This dream appears to be a rough draft of a Petshop of Horrors chapter. That's what I was reading before bed last night, if it wasn't already obvious.
My second BookMooch request to come in. This is by the artist of Petshop of Horrors, and like Petshop of Horrors, it has a simultaneously mysterious-and-silly bishounen character with a ridiculous name, a blonder and more boring bishounen who exists to be startled and confused by the former, a stupid premise, and sociopaths. Unlike Petshop of Horrors, unfortunately, it is not awesome.

Two high school students, the aggressive tomboy Haruka and her timid, confused servant friend Masato have just won a contest with their mystery novel, written under a pen name, and seem to be on the fast track to becoming the hottest new... uh... I just wrote that and it was painful. My lungs did a thing... Haruka and Masato are apparently good.

For Haruka, though, being a mystery writer means solving murders in real life - and real life helpfully provides them for her. However, she finds she has competition as a detective when the capricious and over-dressed Kamen Tantei, or Masked Detective, begins appearing before them, providing the solutions to the crimes, and insisting that they make him their protagonist. He even shows up at the big mystery writer parties (big mystery writer parties?) in costume claiming to be the author of Haruka and Masato's book. This causes the other writers to decide that their protagonist is a Mary Sue*, and infuriates Haruka.

Okay, does that sound like enough wacky antics to last us a while? Did I mention yet that there are ghosts?

Masato and Kamen Tantei can see dead people. The secret to Kamen Tantei's success as a detective is his ability to call up the murdered and ask them. This enrages Haruka, who insists that ghosts can't exist, because "If this was a novel about ghosts, it wouldn't be a mystery! It would be a horror novel!" And she's right. This is about the ghosts and the gore.

In Petshop of Horrors, our anti-hero Count D sold people pets that destroyed them psychologically, physically, or both. And though he said he was giving people "what they deserved," he rarely cared enough about them to make us think he could be trusted to mete out justice. D was a sociopath, but he has nothing on these guys.

Haruka is the worst. When someone she knows is found dead, her first reaction is stars-in-her-eyes thrill at the proximity of a real murder - now she can solve it! Kamen Tantei doesn't seem to care about anything except impressing people with his clothes and secret knowledge. Presumably he'll get some kind of character development later, since you can't hold up this kind of burden of mysteriousness for long, but that's the situation as of volume one.

By standard manga characterization rules, it seems like Masato should probably be the foil here; the one who cares about the crime that's been committed, but is too scared and ineffectual to deal with it the way Haruka and Kamen Tantei do. It looks like Akino's trying to set him up that way. Unfortunately, she doesn't try very hard. When a girl who had asked him out is found dead, apparently a suicide, he doesn't cry, and feels guilty for about three pages before dissolving into comic-relief about something.

Actually, no one cries for the girl - the students all try to shove their way into the classroom where she died to get a look, and everyone at the funeral looks like they're applying for a job. No one's ever really interested in the murders, and that clashes weirdly both with the fairly-graphic depictions of violence, and with Kamen Tantei's flowery explanations of the motivations for the crime at the end of each chapter.

Also, there is the plotting. It... gets distracted. The fourth chapter, in particular, looks like she started drawing it without knowing where it was going - the last three pages have literally no relation to the rest of the story. Her deadline must have attacked her.

My I-have-to-go-to-work-now conclusion: I am glad that I did not pay for this.

* I wish I knew what the original Japanese phrase was there...

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