[personal profile] snarp
1) She smells really bad.

2) She poops on the floor, and her poop smells astonishingly bad. Mom calls it "distinctive." I can tell from halfway across the house when she's had a bowel movement.

2b) I usually don't need to, because she likes doing it right in front of my door.

3) She is currently taking three different kinds of medicine for the poop problem - thyroid medication and anti-inflammatories for the long term, and a short-term course of antibiotics. This is not presently helping.

4) She has clawed me in almost every conceivable place in protest against this regimen.

5) She'll be old enough to vote in April.

6) She was born in front of a TV on which Richard Nixon's funeral was being broadcast live. I'm not taking her in to get registered. I've read Petshop of Horrors, I know how this shit works.
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