no subject

I don’t want this to turn into some kind of a confrontation, but someone in this room posted their super-romantic fanfic chapter at 1:00 AM last night and left an obvious typo in the first goshdarn line. Maybe that someone should think about doing something about their sleep schedule. I’m just saying, man, let’s not make this a thing.

…

People who say stuff like “let’s not make this a thing” and “I don’t want this to turn into a confrontation” are pretty much always being assholes, right? Like those are things you say when you’re making a remark you know is going to be inflammatory and want to signal “I will not take responsibility for my words.” These phrases indicate a conversational drive-by.

“Let’s not make this a thing but it is totes stupid that you are vegan.”

“Why, exactly?”

“Hey, I said I didn’t want to make this a thing!”

Reviews of Young Adult Novels, Chapter 11 (Homestuck Fanfic)

Reviews Of Young Adult Novels, Mainly Those Prominently Featuring Vampires, And Containing At Least One Love Triangle, Chapter 11:

Rose woke up locked in a bloodstained metal cell next to a miniature bottle of bourbon and box of chalk. This wasn’t actually the first time she’d woken up in this specific configuration, which could be construed as evidence of poor life choices on her part.

This time she had a piece of paper scotch-taped to her forehead, which was new. It said:

“FUCK YOU ASSHOLE

AND YOUR ROBOT”

Good try, Mr. Vantas.

How I Think Superhero Comics Work

The dude's name is Blood Guy, and he's all muscly and grimaces a lot and is mean, but you can tell he's the hero because he's in spandex? He's fighting the bad guy whose name is Sciencetar, and you know the bad guy's the bad guy because science is really bad. And they're going like,

"Blood Guy I am going to do a bad thing that's basically equivalent to setting off a nuclear bomb. We're calling it something different because people are used to nukes right, they're not scary anymore."

"I won't let you set off that bomb! I will never let you set off another bomb - the way you set off my wife. By which I mean you killed her. I was trying to do that "mirroring" thing, with re-using your words for dramatic effect, but I fucked it up."

"You cannot stop me! Misused Nietsche quote."

"Is that why you do your evil deeds!?"

"Yes it is because of my inadequate understanding of Nietsche."