Jake/Caliborn = Best/Worst Ship
May. 14th, 2013 12:58 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
snarpNo, seriously, I love their conversation more every time I read it. It's one of my favorites. Every single thing they say is hilariously awful, and Jake is apparently incapable of aggression, while Caliborn is incapable of non-aggression, and they're just the stupidest two characters in the story by a huge margin, yet they nonetheless have way too much influence over everyone else's lives, and they're cheerfully IMing each other planning out the brutal fight to the death they're going to have one day, getting along very nicely! They were made for each other.
And this awful, stupid conversation between two idiots is the germ of all the conflicts to follow! Homestuck's eternal battle of good versus evil, with the zillions of casualties attendant upon it, came about because two dumb teenage boys on IM wanted to be the Dark Lord and the Hero and have a final battle. It's beautiful.
GT: I dont understand.
uu: NEITHER DO I.
GT: Ok then.
GT: Im glad we settled that.
GT: Tell you about hope?
GT: Um well its something i think everyone should have in their hearts.
uu: I KNEW IT. YOU JUST SAID.
uu: THE LAMEST POSSIBLE THING.
GT: But i wasnt finished!
uu: FUCK.
uu: YOU ARE JUST. SPECTACULARLY UNINTELLIGENT.
GT: Hey!
uu: SETTLE DOWN. I WAS TRYING TO PAY YOU A COMPLIMENT.
GT: Oh. Whoops.
GT: Go on then.
GT: Sounds pretty gay.
uu: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
GT: You know. Its a rather old fashioned term for being jolly and festive together.
GT: Like "that rollicking time we had scrumming the other eve sure was gay."
uu: I SEE.
uu: THEN YES. YOU ARE CORRECT.
uu: THIS IS GOING TO BE GAY AS HELL.
I guess the ship name should be "gay as hell," right? It's doubly good because that's clearly a Tumblr tag that has no better use than pictures of Homestuck characters being stupid at each other. Whatever's there now needs to be crowded out.
And this awful, stupid conversation between two idiots is the germ of all the conflicts to follow! Homestuck's eternal battle of good versus evil, with the zillions of casualties attendant upon it, came about because two dumb teenage boys on IM wanted to be the Dark Lord and the Hero and have a final battle. It's beautiful.
GT: I dont understand.
uu: NEITHER DO I.
GT: Ok then.
GT: Im glad we settled that.
GT: Tell you about hope?
GT: Um well its something i think everyone should have in their hearts.
uu: I KNEW IT. YOU JUST SAID.
uu: THE LAMEST POSSIBLE THING.
GT: But i wasnt finished!
uu: FUCK.
uu: YOU ARE JUST. SPECTACULARLY UNINTELLIGENT.
GT: Hey!
uu: SETTLE DOWN. I WAS TRYING TO PAY YOU A COMPLIMENT.
GT: Oh. Whoops.
GT: Go on then.
GT: Sounds pretty gay.
uu: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
GT: You know. Its a rather old fashioned term for being jolly and festive together.
GT: Like "that rollicking time we had scrumming the other eve sure was gay."
uu: I SEE.
uu: THEN YES. YOU ARE CORRECT.
uu: THIS IS GOING TO BE GAY AS HELL.
I guess the ship name should be "gay as hell," right? It's doubly good because that's clearly a Tumblr tag that has no better use than pictures of Homestuck characters being stupid at each other. Whatever's there now needs to be crowded out.
