Homestuck update.

[snarp]

Exposition Time, with Aranea and yeah, basically just Aranea.

They grow to detest one another, and develop a view of social interaction centered entirely around animosity and confront8tion. For good cheru8s, this readies them for a long life of isol8tion, as they will prefer to avoid the sort of conflict that comes with social interaction as they have 8een conditioned to understand it. [...]

And though this duality makes for a tormented childhood, the inner conflict it cre8tes is an extremely important part of a young cheru8's life. The defining part, actually. It is the struggle a cheru8 must overcome to mature, and this process culmin8tes in predomin8tion.

So Gamzee assured Calliope's failure by making sure she had friends: he left her a computer and Rose's book - which he edited to remove mention of himself - ensuring that she would eventually reach out to the post-Scratch kids. Did he think of that himself, or did Doc Scratch give him instructions?

So as she toured the planetary wreckage, she knew her quest for a m8 was not just a8out the propag8tion of her species, 8ut the li8er8tion of 8illions from a monster.

At least some portion of those 8illions that cherubmom was liberating were probably trolls. Maybe Calliope inherited her affection for trolls from their mom, and Caliborn his hatred for them from their dad.

As it happens, our heroine's m8 discovered Earth, long after it had journeyed to a new sun, and long since new civiliz8tions had risen and fallen.

So new civilizations rose and fell on Earth after it got moved around, huh? I guess it's going to serve as a safe haven for any surviving humans and trolls for a while, and some of them eventually get out of there and like, colonize the planet those poor fantrolls died on and suchlike.

Actually, no, wait, Earth's flooded and Gl'bgolyb's still there. Earth's obviously going to become the squiddle homeworld.

...We actually have no idea if there are any surviving humans in this universe, huh.

If the male lays the egg, the alignments of the child's two halves will 8e the same as the parents. If the female lays the egg, the alignments will 8e flipped, and the young male and female halves will 8e endowed with opposite alignments of the parents.

[...]

Due to his indomita8le nature, I 8elieve victory over his sister was a foregone conclusion. 8arring a highly impro8a8le glitch in causality, it would 8e almost impossi8le for her to predomin8te over someone like him.

Alt!Calliope = from the timeline in which their mother lost the duel and laid the egg, making her The Evil One?

In the case of our heroine, she was the good half, and the day of her predomin8tion was in a sense the day her 8rother died. And though it was to her 8enefit and personal growth, 8ecause of this loss she would always live with a sense that something was missing. Every sexually mature cheru8 lives with this feeling. It drives them to seek out another cheru8 similar to the half they lost, the part of their 8eing which they grew up in perpetual conflict with. The desire to travel the universe in hopes of reigniting that conflict is very important to their species. It's the force which compels them to procre8.

Uh.

So like.

Is Calliope going to hatemarry herself.

Is that your plan Mr. Hussie.

Good. Because that's hilarious.

UU: Um, well, yoU see roxy

UU2: WHERE IS THE OTHER BITCH. YOu SAID YOu HAD TWO. "HuMAN BITCHES."

TG: uh.

UU: i said nothing of the kind now shUt Up yoU disgUsting degenerate piece of filth!

UU2: HAHAHA. YOu ARE NOT GOOD AT INSuLTS. YOu ARE THE WORST AT INSuLTS. WHEREAS I AM THE BEST AT THAT. THE SAME WAY THAT I AM THE BEST AT EVERYTHING. AND THAT IS WHY IT IS YOu WHO WILL BEAR MY LOATHESOME OFFSPRING. IN THE uNSTEADY LIGHT. OF A DYING SuN.

UU: - yoU see roxy romance is pretty different for cherUbs.

TG: yes callie, yes i can see that.

(Also the Karkat/Kankri shippers would go insane. Which is great because that is also hilarious.)