The finale to the abdominal pain plot arc. (Hopefully.)

[snarp]

It was an ovarian cyst. I am told that I will be fine.

I resent my presence in a society developed enough to recognize that I have a small cyst on my ovary, and developed enough to fix said cyst non-invasively, but not quite developed enough to accomplish either of these things without giving me a shot in my vagina.

The worst part is the way said society has rendered me complicit in my own shot in the vagina. I pointed to the pap smear rod and said, "Uh."

"Yes, I know -"

"I don't know about that thing."

"You'll be fine."

"- Can't I be, like, unconscious for this?"

She looked at me. "Would you like me to give you a little shot, so you don't feel anything?"

"...That might be a good idea."

So, she asked me whether I wanted the shot in the vagina. The shot in the vagina was a purely optional part of the procedure. She said, "Do you want this here optional shot in the vagina?" And I said, "Yes. I absolutely want the optional shot in the vagina." This was my own decision. I asked her to ask the nurse to come back in and hold my knees still, to make sure I did not attempt to renege on my decision to be given a shot in the vagina.

After the shot, imbued with a new knowledge of the geography and tensile strength of the region, I got a brief attack of the chills. Presumably it was only a stress reaction - understandable, I think, given that I had just had a shot in the vagina. But for about five minutes we all kind of hung around, myself sitting on the table in the paper smock, and the doctor and nurse standing there looking at me, wondering whether my optional shot in the vagina was going to lead to an optional ER visit for an optional allergy attack.

The last time I was given an anesthetic, it was obvious when it wore off, because it had been administered to the middle of my back, and I had a lumpy bandage I had constructed personally on there and was trying to take a nap. This time I just have no idea. Most hours of the day, I have no compelling reason to know whether or not my vagina is anesthetized. It could be! It could anesthetized most of the time. Maybe there are pixies in there. I just don't know.

I asked for a copy of the pictures of my cyst, so I could examine them for a small sneer, perhaps a finger or a horn. I wanted to put them on the fridge. They would not give me a copy, which I think unfair. It is my cyst. I'm the one who had to get a shot in the vagina over it. And they've given me all these antibiotics to get rid of it, so soon my cyst will be gone, and I will not even have had the chance to develop a properly antagonistic relationship with it. It's like how I don't care about that lightning guy from the second or third arc in YuYu Hakusho - you didn't see much of him, and then Yusuke hit him really hard and he was gone. This is not a satisfying way to end the Abdominal Pain arc.

Comments

[branchandroot]

Oh, that's very unfair. They gave me the laproscope pictures of my uterus for posterity, after all. Surely pictures of a cyst isn't too much to ask.

[snarp]

I think they either didn't have a copy machine or didn't feel like going to use it for reasons like "she wants to examine the cyst for the evidence of a cold and calculating temperament."

[ajnabieh]

I may have lost it at "optional shot in the vagina." Snerk.

Well...at least it's going to resolve? And was diagnosable? Everyone I know who's had ovarian cysts has described them as terrible to some new degree of terrible, so I have a great deal of sympathy. &hearts

[snarp]

I've actually been pretty lucky - I ended up in ER-level-pain in January, and some milder pain this month, but overall it's been relatively un-alarming as things in your guts go. The doctor does not think the development very worrying. I actually think she was more concerned by the possibility that I might be drinking too much juice.

[azurelunatic]

My cysts themselves are not *too* horrible. However, their side effects, like the six-month period (at month five and a half I said "I AM ABSOLUTELY DONE WITH THIS BLOODY MESS!" and called the doctor) are wearying.

[wintersweet.livejournal.com]

Your descriptions of things are always priceless.

(Sorry you had to go through that, anyway.)

[jinian.livejournal.com]

Don't they have to give you your medical records if you ask? I have CDs of my head MRI as well as my own abdominal pain data (period coming up, we'll see what happens), and all I had to do was ask the records office.

[snarp]

They probably would've given it to me if I'd kept at them about it - I think they just didn't have easy access to the copy machine.