Today status

"My period is maybe starting and I need to put a pad on"

*I am staring at the open sock-and-underwear drawer, and have been for upwards of thirty seconds*

"The pads are in the bathroom, and I need to walk over there if I'm going to get one"

*Maybe... There are pads... In the drawer*

"There aren't"

*I put a sock in my underwear as if it was a pad*

"God, fine"

no subject

Have been trying to coax a fluffy black kitten someone recently dumped onto the back porch. I've been leaving food out, but that plan has probably backfired. Bu just freaked out at something on the porch. It was not the kitten! It was the biggest fucking opossum I've ever seen.

Stay off that porch, buddy. I want it to be a Safe Space for domesticated felines, and they are demonstrably terrified of you.