What did I do to deserve this fate

This terrible memefate

*I close Tumblr and am confronted with the Gdocs tab containing the first chapter of my paranormal romance novel Taken By Two Draculas*

Dad is a bad Jew.

Dad: We're going to a thing for [name], they're giving him an award.

Me: What kind of an award?

Dad: It's a Jewish thing, he's... he's Jew of the Year.

Mom: No.

Dad: He is! It's a Jewish thing, a Jewish organization's giving him an award.

Me: The award is probably not "Jew of the Year."

Mom: It's not.

Dad: Yes, it is! It's a Jewish thing, it'll be full of Jews, and they'll all be like oy gevalt, oy gevalt -

Me: This is exactly why you've never won Jew of the Year.