My brain has created a robust simulation of Urobuchi Gen.

I dreamed about his new show that's basically just the dude being upset that women liked Madoka. A bunch of magical girls are at a magical girl boarding school, and each episode is about their vicious in-fighting, usually culminating in at least one death. Which is the purpose of the school - there can be only three magical girls at a time.

It takes a few episodes for the deaths to start. We're initially introduced to three specific girls as the protagonists, with one in particular, who's Robin Hood-themed and has invisibility powers, being set up as the heroine. A couple episodes in, Robin is thrown into conflict with one of the other two, panics, and kills her.

When she calms down, she immediately starts rationalizing what she did to herself and the two or three other kids who talk to her. Then, to drive home the point that this is not the first time Robin has killed another child, she finishes up the episode by killing three other girls.

There's a flashback episode about a girl with some sort of healing power, who we haven't seen at the school yet - we assume she's about to be recruited and will be the transfer student who becomes the new protagonist. She's trans and living with another trans girl, and it's pretty cute right until the other girl is horribly murdered. Then we move forward forty years and find out that healing-girl is the evil dean.

Sorry to the various people to whom I owe messages.

Please note that I am not actually going to die, I just feel shitty.

Thinking about my nightmares and my brain problems.

Most of my nightmares are about lying on my back unable to move while something bad happens over me: I've been stabbed in the chest and am too weak to get up and the Bad Guy is about to stab my eye (I once started talking in my sleep during a dream like this and scared elongated_tito, who was in the same room), or someone's doing surgery on me and I'm still awake but can't move, or I'm hiding between two objects hoping the bad guy in the room doesn't look down, or I'm trying to use an immateriality charm that'll protect me from the RAIN OF KNIVES but if I move even a little... etc.

Or I've just fallen down and lost motor control while trying to do something important. I have occasional anxiety dreams like that: trying to walk but falling down every few steps, not being able to use my hands or talk. But this is usually just annoying or mildly frightening without the lying-on-my-back aspect - that's where it turns into something I'd classify as a nightmare.

The thing is, unless there's some childhood incident I've totally forgotten, I do not have significant real-life trauma like this. I never ended up lying on my back during any of my dumb kid fights, and the only time I recall someone actually knocking me completely off my feet, I landed on my side. And my three official Worst Traumas did not involve any physical violence. I think these nightmares are about another nightmare.

( Read more... )