Hey, thegeekgene.

I cleaned your disgusting goddamn kitchen. There was a layer of dust on your coffeemaker, so I hid it. If you want to see it again, you will have to follow a series of clues, each more cryptic than the last, all requiring an encyclopedic knowledge of Homestuck trivia, except the one that's about Princess Tutu instead.

Serious real-world problem that matters.

When people try to argue with me over posts I've made without having carefully read the posts I've made or their sources, and their argument's based on stuff they missed or misunderstood or are pretending to have missed or misunderstood, do I,

1) Answer politely and point out the thing they missed.

2) Answer rudely and point out the thing they missed.

3) Answer rudely and unhelpfully.

4) Just post some Moxy Fruvous lyrics, like I promised.

5) Not answer.

6) Not answer and hit "ban."

There are various thresholds for all of these - like, number 1 is reserved for people I'm pretty sure are serious and not just trying to pick a fight. Number 2 is for when I think the respondent's being an asshole, but either feel like I either have something new to say on the topic, or am concerned that other people are taking the respondent seriously about something that particularly steams me.

(Recent example: Respondent is trying to sell delusional people overpriced baggies of dried seaweed and mushrooms, on the basis that these items cure the radiation poisoning they've convinced themselves they've got.

I think it's appropriate that I used "Option Number 2" for this situation. It's just a good name.)

Number 6 is basically for when someone's invested the entirety of their ego into some fictional character/political ideal/work of art they've made/etc, and is telling me I am a bad person for not mirroring their beliefs precisely. Because that's never going to be a useful conversation, and I don't really enjoy making fun of or hearing from that particular sort of jerk.

Your bullshit needs to hurt other people more than it hurts you before I'm willing to take a swing at you, mostly. I'm not a therapist, not even the shounen manga kind that beats you up. I don't want to deal with you.

But I don't have a good system worked out for when I should use numbers three through five. I default to five a lot, on basis of, "I'm tired, and this is too boring to make into a joke and too stupid to make into a post."

Bets on remaining two Homestuck characters in Namco High?

* Gamzee as unpleasant shopkeeper.

* Cal as last thing you see if you get the bad ending.

* Dad as protagonist’s Dad.

* Dante Basco as symbolic representation of protagonist’s self-esteem.

* Andrew Hussie as orange guy who stalks protagonist.

* Karkat as Karkat, being all bitchy and tsundere in the background, dropping dark hints about darker secrets, and you totally think he’s got a storyline that can be somehow unlocked. BUT HE DOESN’T. Hussie writes fake GameFAQs in-character as people with names like “kanrussprite69” telling you complicated and time-consuming ways to unlock Karkat. None of them work. The game includes unused graphics of Karkat blushing, implying that there are yet-undiscovered dialog trees available. Hussie put those there to mess with you. “Hackers” find bits of dialog implying that Karkat is an unlockable option - he’s not, it’s a lie, the hackers are fake and are Andrew Hussie. Karkat is an unlock-tease.

* Spades Slick as band director.