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snarpShort form: Kankri, Cronus, and Scratch are the only characters in Homestuck it makes me actively fucking uncomfortable to read.
BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL COMPLETE CREEPS.
For the long form, let's start with this quote:
Yes. That's a good place to start.
So, this is the deal with Kankri:
* He only has good relationships with other guys - he pops into Meenah's conversations with Cronus, Horuss, and Rufioh of his own volition, to "defend" them, and Cronus and Horuss take this well. Rufioh takes it passively, because Rufioh takes everything passively, and also because he did not need defending.
Kankri does not do this with her conversations with the women, which means that he doesn't start conversations with women sans player intervention - symbolically, he has to be given a push. When the player has him talk with women, he condescendingly scolds Porrim, is creepy and passive-aggressive at Latula, and sucks up to Meenah while simultaneously insulting her.
Karkat, meanwhile, has literally tried to make friends with every single person he's ever met, and was appears to have been closest to Terezi and Kanaya during their session. (He probably thought he was close to Gamzee, but he was incorrect in this regard.)
Anyone who thinks Karkat is a bigger jerk than Kankri deserves to be scolded by Kankri for a really long time.
I get SO OFFENDED on Karkat's behalf when I see a fanfic/fanart where Kankri talks Karkat out of doing something bad. SO OFFENDED, Kankri.
* Kankri gets along the best with Horuss and Cronus, who are bluebloods. He's willing to waste a lot of air validating their bad decisions to them and to Meenah. He also lets slide casual verbal abuse from Horuss towards himself - stuff which caused Karkat to expand into a red giant every time Equius opened his mouth.
On the other hand, he's a condescending douche to Rufioh and Mituna, who are lowbloods, and tells them that they're literally being themselves wrong: Mituna is being disabled wrong, and Rufioh is talking about his life wrong:
(I could quote every line of that awful goddamn conversation, but it would be very painful to me personally.)
Conspicuously, he scolds Mituna when he insults Meenah, then goes further and insults him for a while himself. He does not, however, call Cronus on his abuse of Mituna.
What would Karkat do, Kankri? NOT THAT SHIT. BECAUSE THAT SHIT IS SUCH SHIT.
* It's notable that all of these guys have low self-esteem, to the point that they're willing to let Kankri, who puts on an appearance of self-confidence, dictate their behavior. Rufioh alters his speech patterns to conform to Kankri's preferences. Mituna actually apologizes to him for existing:
(KANKRI YOU AWFUL SHITBAG)
Cronus keeps up his humankin thing, at a time when he might have decided to outgrow it, to prevent Kankri from being "disappointed" in him:
Note that line I bolded, where he tries to isolate Cronus even more than Cronus already isolates himself with his behavior: "I'm the only one who cares about you."
Best shitty relationship in Homestuck. These guys deserve each other completely. I imagine Feferi watching Meenah walk away from Cronus, simultaneously cheering and sighing sadly over her own DEADLY MISTAKE of being friends with an Ampora. (I also imagine Karkat watching Kankri with Cronus, and banging his head against something hard until it begins to bleed.)
Horuss, like the other Pages, comes off as eager-to-please and near-pathologically insecure: He became moirails with Meulin because he thought he was "supposed" to, because he saw Nepeta and Equius getting along so well. Then he attempted to change his personality radically in ways that make him uncomfortable, because Meulin suggested it. Then he stopped because Meenah ordered him to. Then he asked Rufioh if that was okay. He happily listens to Kankri tell him about himself as Kankri sees him - Kankri actually talks more about his Horsona thing than he does.
Horuss embraces his fetishes more openly and with less apparent shame than Equius did, which aside from the boundaries issues might not be a bad thing - except that it has had extremely negative effects on Rufioh, whose body he at one point replaced with a horse's. There is at least the possibility that Kankri bears some responsibility for this.
* So, what I've been building up to, if I need to spell it out, is this: Kankri's ostensible passion for social change looks an awful lot like a passion for the status quo. He does not defend people with actual problems, just highbloods with pretend internet problems.
He tries to get in good with the people who "matter," and make himself emotionally necessary to them; he tries to push down the people who don't, to cut out the competition. Given his social status on Beforus, this might have been a reasonable economic strategy there! It's gross, but it is certainly something that can work if you're good at it, and Kankri is.
But his planet's long gone; he's internalized the rules without realizing it. He is, like most of the dead, frozen in place. And it's a nasty place.
His treatment of women tends to reinforce Porrim's claims as to the misogyny in Beforan culture. The only women he's ever shown talking to in the way he does the highblood guys is Latula, for obvious reasons. He's a jerk to Porrim because she is basically his mom, and dudes like him always resent their moms. Meulin he's got cowed into keeping her fanfic private, because it makes him personally uncomfortable.
He does not talk to or about Aranea or Damara, presumably because they would not make cooperative targets: Damara cannot say "yes, you're right," and wouldn't if she could, and god knows what would happen if he tried to have a conversation with Aranea. Probably mind-control.
Final conversational tally for Kankri:
In conclusion, my fanfic is wrong and I should feel bad, and so should anyone else who writes Kankri as a decent person.
50RRY
BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL COMPLETE CREEPS.
For the long form, let's start with this quote:
HORUSS: 8=D < So true, friend. Your wisdom truly transcends your degenerate, mildly nauseating mutant b100d.
KANKRI: Thank y9u.
Yes. That's a good place to start.
So, this is the deal with Kankri:
* He only has good relationships with other guys - he pops into Meenah's conversations with Cronus, Horuss, and Rufioh of his own volition, to "defend" them, and Cronus and Horuss take this well. Rufioh takes it passively, because Rufioh takes everything passively, and also because he did not need defending.
Kankri does not do this with her conversations with the women, which means that he doesn't start conversations with women sans player intervention - symbolically, he has to be given a push. When the player has him talk with women, he condescendingly scolds Porrim, is creepy and passive-aggressive at Latula, and sucks up to Meenah while simultaneously insulting her.
Karkat, meanwhile, has literally tried to make friends with every single person he's ever met, and was appears to have been closest to Terezi and Kanaya during their session. (He probably thought he was close to Gamzee, but he was incorrect in this regard.)
Anyone who thinks Karkat is a bigger jerk than Kankri deserves to be scolded by Kankri for a really long time.
I get SO OFFENDED on Karkat's behalf when I see a fanfic/fanart where Kankri talks Karkat out of doing something bad. SO OFFENDED, Kankri.
* Kankri gets along the best with Horuss and Cronus, who are bluebloods. He's willing to waste a lot of air validating their bad decisions to them and to Meenah. He also lets slide casual verbal abuse from Horuss towards himself - stuff which caused Karkat to expand into a red giant every time Equius opened his mouth.
On the other hand, he's a condescending douche to Rufioh and Mituna, who are lowbloods, and tells them that they're literally being themselves wrong: Mituna is being disabled wrong, and Rufioh is talking about his life wrong:
KANKRI: 9n the 9ther hand, if I'm 6eing h9nest, I've f9und Mituna's entire existence t9 6e a pretty pr96lematic impediment t9 the advancement and 9verall awareness 9f a6leism and its painful manif9ld c9nsequences f9r una6ilitied pers9ns. The speech impediment, frankly, I c9uld d9 with9ut, and I'm 6y n9 means ecstatic 9ver his t9rrential 6ig9try and h9stility. 9n the 9ne hand, I want t9 6e sensitive t9 him as a pers9n and as a friend, 6ut 9n the 9ther, what kind 9f message d9es his 6ehavi9r send? And frankly, I'm n9t crazy a69ut the helmet, either.
(I could quote every line of that awful goddamn conversation, but it would be very painful to me personally.)
RUFIOH: ha, yeah that's r1ght... 1'm a "m*tant"... don't tell kankr1 1 sa1d that! he's my boy, but you know how he's not down w1th l1ngo l1ke that...
Conspicuously, he scolds Mituna when he insults Meenah, then goes further and insults him for a while himself. He does not, however, call Cronus on his abuse of Mituna.
What would Karkat do, Kankri? NOT THAT SHIT. BECAUSE THAT SHIT IS SUCH SHIT.
* It's notable that all of these guys have low self-esteem, to the point that they're willing to let Kankri, who puts on an appearance of self-confidence, dictate their behavior. Rufioh alters his speech patterns to conform to Kankri's preferences. Mituna actually apologizes to him for existing:
KANKRI: 9h, I kn9w y9u d9, and I think y9u sh9uld c9ntinue wearing it f9r y9ur safety, particularly if y9u c9ntinue t9 insist 9n fl9undering a69ut 9n y9ur danger9us t9y. It's m9re a69ut the unf9rtunate message y9u are sending 9verall, with certain aspects 9f y9ur pers9nality and existence, that's all.
MITUNA: 1M 50RRY
(KANKRI YOU AWFUL SHITBAG)
Cronus keeps up his humankin thing, at a time when he might have decided to outgrow it, to prevent Kankri from being "disappointed" in him:
CRONUS: to be honest, she might be right. sometimes i think i might only be saying im a human to get attention. maybe i should givwe it up.
KANKRI: I'd 6e extremely disapp9inted t9 hear that, if it were true. That w9uld 6e such a slap in the face t9 all th9se wh9 kn9w themselves t9 6e an alien while trapped in the pedestrian 69dy 9f their 9wn race. It w9uld 6e unspeaka6ly invalidating 9f their struggles and massively triggering t9 their em9ti9ns.
KANKRI: 6ut f9rtunately, I kn9w y9u w9uld never st99p as l9w as that. Y9u understanda6ly have d9u6ts a69ut y9ur feelings and pr96a6ly d9wnplay them as a defense mechanism, since s9 few are prepared t9 rec9gnize the legitimacy 9f y9ur plight. 6ut I am, and I just wanted y9u t9 kn9w that I'm here f9r y9u, and am prepared t9 lecture t9 y9u extensively, I mean, listen t9 y9u extensively, a69ut y9ur ultra-imp9rtant pr96lem.
CRONUS: vwowv. thanks, pal.
CRONUS: youre right. my feelings really are real. not fake, like the huge disappointing fraud that magic turned out to be.
Note that line I bolded, where he tries to isolate Cronus even more than Cronus already isolates himself with his behavior: "I'm the only one who cares about you."
Best shitty relationship in Homestuck. These guys deserve each other completely. I imagine Feferi watching Meenah walk away from Cronus, simultaneously cheering and sighing sadly over her own DEADLY MISTAKE of being friends with an Ampora. (I also imagine Karkat watching Kankri with Cronus, and banging his head against something hard until it begins to bleed.)
Horuss, like the other Pages, comes off as eager-to-please and near-pathologically insecure: He became moirails with Meulin because he thought he was "supposed" to, because he saw Nepeta and Equius getting along so well. Then he attempted to change his personality radically in ways that make him uncomfortable, because Meulin suggested it. Then he stopped because Meenah ordered him to. Then he asked Rufioh if that was okay. He happily listens to Kankri tell him about himself as Kankri sees him - Kankri actually talks more about his Horsona thing than he does.
Horuss embraces his fetishes more openly and with less apparent shame than Equius did, which aside from the boundaries issues might not be a bad thing - except that it has had extremely negative effects on Rufioh, whose body he at one point replaced with a horse's. There is at least the possibility that Kankri bears some responsibility for this.
* So, what I've been building up to, if I need to spell it out, is this: Kankri's ostensible passion for social change looks an awful lot like a passion for the status quo. He does not defend people with actual problems, just highbloods with pretend internet problems.
He tries to get in good with the people who "matter," and make himself emotionally necessary to them; he tries to push down the people who don't, to cut out the competition. Given his social status on Beforus, this might have been a reasonable economic strategy there! It's gross, but it is certainly something that can work if you're good at it, and Kankri is.
But his planet's long gone; he's internalized the rules without realizing it. He is, like most of the dead, frozen in place. And it's a nasty place.
His treatment of women tends to reinforce Porrim's claims as to the misogyny in Beforan culture. The only women he's ever shown talking to in the way he does the highblood guys is Latula, for obvious reasons. He's a jerk to Porrim because she is basically his mom, and dudes like him always resent their moms. Meulin he's got cowed into keeping her fanfic private, because it makes him personally uncomfortable.
He does not talk to or about Aranea or Damara, presumably because they would not make cooperative targets: Damara cannot say "yes, you're right," and wouldn't if she could, and god knows what would happen if he tried to have a conversation with Aranea. Probably mind-control.
Final conversational tally for Kankri:
- He spoke without user guidance to: 1 highblood woman, 0 lowblood women, 2 highblood men, 3 lowblood men.
- He spoke with user guidance to: 1 highblood woman, 1 lowblood woman, 1 lowblood man. (No highblood men available in that area.)
- He scolded: 2 highblood women, 1 lowblood woman, 2 lowblood men.
- He "defended": 0 women, 2 highblood men, 1 lowblood man.
- He had a conversation without any implicit insults with: No one. 0 persons. This did not happen.
In conclusion, my fanfic is wrong and I should feel bad, and so should anyone else who writes Kankri as a decent person.
50RRY
