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Papaw: You ever been to see that?
Me: No. Have you?
Papaw: Sure. That fellow's got the biggest collection of venomous snakes you ever saw. He's been bitten so many times, milking those snakes, he's immune to near everything.
Me: I wouldn't want that job. Why does he milk them?
Papaw: I wouldn't want it, either! They use the venom to manufacture antivenom. You know how they used to make the antivenom? Used to be, you would inject that venom into a horse, and wait for its body to manufacture a certain enzyme. 'course, I don't know how the horse felt about all this! - I suppose they'd need to start with a real healthy horse.
Me: Yeah. "Well, the good news is I've got your antivenom, but the bad news is that the horse had syphilis." - if horses can get syphilis.
Papaw: Haha, yep, if horses can get syphilis, I guess they must've looked out for that one! - oh, yeah, back when I worked for the hospital, do you know how we used to do pregnancy tests?
Me: Do I want to know this, Papaw?
*Papaw assumes that everyone wants to know everything.*
Papaw: Well, we'd draw a little of the woman's blood, and we'd inject it into a frog, and - wait to see what it did! And the frogs were supposed to be single-use, but this one fellow who worked in the lab, well, he didn't like killing 'em. So he'd just, when he was done with them, toss them out the window. So we always had all kinds of frogs out back of that hospital.
Me: You know, if anyone else had told me any of this stuff, I would assume that they were making it up -
Papaw: Nope.
Me: - but since it's you, and I'm pretty sure I've never once heard you lie without giggling simultaneously... I mean, you could tell me that there are two moons, but they look exactly alike and are opposite each other, so we never see both at once. And I'd believe you.
Papaw: Nope, I'm pretty sure there's only one moon.
Me: No. Have you?
Papaw: Sure. That fellow's got the biggest collection of venomous snakes you ever saw. He's been bitten so many times, milking those snakes, he's immune to near everything.
Me: I wouldn't want that job. Why does he milk them?
Papaw: I wouldn't want it, either! They use the venom to manufacture antivenom. You know how they used to make the antivenom? Used to be, you would inject that venom into a horse, and wait for its body to manufacture a certain enzyme. 'course, I don't know how the horse felt about all this! - I suppose they'd need to start with a real healthy horse.
Me: Yeah. "Well, the good news is I've got your antivenom, but the bad news is that the horse had syphilis." - if horses can get syphilis.
Papaw: Haha, yep, if horses can get syphilis, I guess they must've looked out for that one! - oh, yeah, back when I worked for the hospital, do you know how we used to do pregnancy tests?
Me: Do I want to know this, Papaw?
*Papaw assumes that everyone wants to know everything.*
Papaw: Well, we'd draw a little of the woman's blood, and we'd inject it into a frog, and - wait to see what it did! And the frogs were supposed to be single-use, but this one fellow who worked in the lab, well, he didn't like killing 'em. So he'd just, when he was done with them, toss them out the window. So we always had all kinds of frogs out back of that hospital.
Me: You know, if anyone else had told me any of this stuff, I would assume that they were making it up -
Papaw: Nope.
Me: - but since it's you, and I'm pretty sure I've never once heard you lie without giggling simultaneously... I mean, you could tell me that there are two moons, but they look exactly alike and are opposite each other, so we never see both at once. And I'd believe you.
Papaw: Nope, I'm pretty sure there's only one moon.
