no subject

[snarp]

Food is terrible. I hate food now, I am against it. I'm going to call that pharmacist in town that Dad represented and see if he'll give me the supplies necessary to administer a glucose drip to myself.

Or I guess I could sweeten this tea, but that's not really extreme enough for my current belligerent state of mind. I just had a tiny quantity of sweet potato. The experience was unpleasant.

Other than that, I think I'm starting to feel a little better. I was put on Wellbutrin a month ago, and I was supposed to keep taking it until my appointment next Wednesday. On Thursday I finally lost my patience and dropped it cold turkey. I looked up at the sky this morning and thought the clouds looked pretty, which was the point at which I decided that this had been a good move.

That stuff was somehow subtly even worse for me than the Effexor. I mean, I couldn't concentrate for long while I was on Effexor, but it wasn't impossible. But I haven't coded at all since I started on the Wellbutrin, and last night was the first time in weeks I actually got some writing done without it devolving into just nasty personal fights between my fanfic lesbians and their cohort. I've only felt like writing about people saying hurtful shit to each other, and the next chapter's got a conversation between John and Calliope, for fuck's sake.

Comments

[law_nerd]

FWIW... when on Wellbutrin I might have been slightly less depressed, but absolutely any emotion that wasn't depression was replaced with free floating rage at the world and everyone in it. I was a nasty, nasty person to be around ... until I quit, cold turkey, and suddenly the world was not quite as hateful a place. I've had a shrink since then suggest that it wasn't a completely unusual response, so it's possible your doc may understand.

Hope feeling better continues for you.