"so i think it’s safe to say that i absolutely destroyed my end of the year follower goal…"

[snarp]

I know I need to stop looking at the #affectedbyhate tag. And I'm going to! Soon!

But there have been at least eight distinct confirmed pseuecides. In five days. It's been the asshole World Series, I think the one who sprained her nose won?

Under the cut are sloppy summaries of each fake death I'm aware of, with excerpts. I put some of this on FFA earlier while this vital archival work was still in progress.

1) cwinchester2000

Psuecide still in progress, presently pretending to be her best friend Sierra:

"Why me? What have I done? Please stop. Don’t you understand, I’ve tried to kill myself tonight… It’s not working. Not yet. I’m in so much pain and you’re getting hot from it. Sierra told me she called an ambulance but I don’t think they’re going to get here in time. So you’re getting your wish. I’m gonna die tonight. Because of you."

"Hey guys… Um… Caitie’s in the hospital now. They won’t let me see her. The doctors are working really hard to keep her alive. She cut herself pretty bad and took a lot of sleeping pills. I’m really scared. I’ve been crying so much. I don’t want to lose my best friend. I promise to keep you guys updated as I find out stuff. Thank you so much for being here for her."

"Honestly guys I’m so scared. I’ve never been more scared in my life. I don’t want to lose her. She’s my best friend… I can’t imagine life without her. A doctor came out, Caitie’s lost a lot of blood and they’re worried she won’t wake up. What do I do if she doesn’t wake up? I can’t live without her."

"I have no new updates for you guys. I’m sorry. I wish I did. I’m freaking out. Having a panic attack right here in the waiting room of the hospital. But I want to make one thing straight. I’ve been getting a lot of asks saying I’m just a hacker and Caitie’s probably fine. I don’t know how to prove it to you guys but I’m not a hacker. And Caitie is most definitely not fine. And neither am I. If Caitie doesn’t make it……. I don’t think I will either. I can’t live without her."

"Hi guys. So she’s not awake yet but the doctors are hopeful she will wake up eventually. That makes me feel 10000% times better. Thanks so much to all the people who are sending her love. I will make sure that I read it to her the second she wakes up. I love you guys so much! Thanks to all of you."

"Anonymous asked:
whoa, two fake suicides on one post. you should be ashamed of yourself, kiddo.

~Sierra~ 
I have one thing to say to this: Fuck off. I don’t need negativity like you in my life or in Caities. Thank you to all the people who have been sending love and not bullshit like this!"

"Honestly, this is complete bullshit. Caitie almost fucking died! Do you realize that?! And yet some of you fucking idiots are still sending fucking hate!! Fuck you! Fuck every last one of you fucking haters! Do you not understand how much you’re hurting people?! Fuck all of you! I’m so done with all the messed up people in this goddamn world. (But thank you so so so much to everyone who has been helpful and sent their love. You guys are amazing. Love you guys)"

2) kingfrerin/Anthea/brvnner (blog deleted, inadvertently-damning summary from a supporter here)

Killed herself three separate times in one day, apparently - a world record? - and then deleted her blog. Inspired a generation. I don't yet have a full transcript of her shenanigans, sadly.

"therere ppl looking for me but i alrdy took the pills so gbye"

"We, her family and all her other friends would like to thank you for the supporting messages and the love you gave her.

Let us hope Anthea makes it because she is so lovely and she doesn't deserve dying because of other people's jealousy.

We will keep you updated, because we think that's what Thea would want us to do."

"MY BEST FRIEND DIED BECAUSE THOSE ANONS COULDN'T STOP HARASSING AND BULLY HER ANTHEA I SWEAR I WILL FIND OUT WHO THIS ANON IS AND I WILL MAKE HIM PAY I PROMISE

SHE IS DEAD

ANTHEA DIED BECAUSE OF ANON HATE"

"OKAY SERIOUSLY I'M STILL HERE I AM ALIVE BUT WHAT HAPPENED???

I KNEW IT I GOT HACKED AGAIN"

*later*

"you want me dead
you can have that
im done"

3) d—e—s—t—i—e—l (blog deleted, good summary here)

"To that anon that has told me to kill myself, you'll get what you want."

"GUYS I'M FREAKING OUT. This is Grace's friend Tori, she just sent her suicide note through a mass text and took a bottle of anti-depressants, along with what was left of both a tylenol and benadryl bottle. Her little brother called 911 and she's being taken to the hospital, i'll keep you updated and try to tell her about all your love after i get to see her."

"I finally got to see her, I walked in and there was my bestfriend. The look of her laying on that stark, white hospital bed with tubes and needles and liquids flowing in and out her made me sick. I'm going to find whoever did this to my bestfriend. The sight made me throw-up. She's always been the strong, tough girl, the one no one ever saw cry, i barley ever see her cry, but today, it was evident. To The anon who did this: you should be ashamed, If you're reading this i hope youre happy, if she dies, i don't know what i'll do."

"WE JUST LOST HER PULSE, OUT OF NOWHERE. THE DOCTORS JUST PUSHED ALL OF US OUT OF THE ROOM AND THEY TOOK HER TO THE EMERGENCY WARD"

*like 45 minutes later*

"Its me! :p This is one of th eonly times Ill be able to post for a while because my mom wants me to not be associated with all the hate here right now..."

*an hour and a half later*

"Grace woke up screaming, she demanded to be let off the drugs. While we were out getting a nurse she pulled out her IV and locked herself in the bathroom."

*half an hour later*

"After Grace fell back into a coma the doctors unlocked the door, she had managed to cut to the point of losing quite a bit of blood, she is still in a coma."

"Grace is still in a coma, she's unstable and no one knows if she'll ever wake up."

"Grace is finally awake thank god, she's really out of it and confused but at least we have her back. The doctors say she's going to be okay!"

4) randomawkwardawesome

Have already scrubbed their death from their blog, and I can't find a copy of it. Anyone able to contribute to this important archival project?

"yelloweyedknightmare asked:
heya can u check on RANDOMAWKWARDAWESOME they just posted a suicide note, then deleted it. I'm kinda scared

guys please go send some love their way"

"I AM FINE EVERYONE MY ACCOUNTS WERE HACKED LAST NIGHT I JUST WOKE UP TO ALL OF THIS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL OF THE LOVE AND SUPPORT JUST PLEASE KNOW I AM 100% OK <3"

"What happened earlier today hit me really hard and i need some time away from tumblr for awhile, i will only be gone two weeks and I will be back i just need to shut all of this down for now."

5) queen-of-the-rising-demons (blog deleted, reported here via opportunistic friend? sockpuppet?)

"I get it daily. It's bad enough, but now's it's just too much. I'm getting threats and shoot to kill and just so much. My heart is on my sleeve and I'm regretting just being here, breathing. Being alive is a regret to me"

"I'm sorry, Heather. My daughter made an attempt at her own life last night. She very nearly succeeded. She's in the hospital, on ventilation. She attempted to hang herself and her airway was cut off for I dont know how long. Prayers are needed, please. She's in stable but critical condition. God I dont want to lose my daughter."

"Amanda is responding well to treatment, her eyes have opened. Please please please continue to pray, it seems as thouhg she might possibly have a chance here. Thank you!"

"Amanda is awake and alert, seizures are periodic and she hasn't said a word but her Doctor says with the progress she's made, he could only assume the oxygen to her brain was only absent for less than enough time to cause severe, long lasting damage. I do believe Amanda is going to be just fine, give or take. Thank you for your prayers and support."

"I am sad to report Queen-of-the-rising-demons has suddenly passed away within the past hour due to her self inflicted injuries a few nights ago, where she attempted to hang herself."

"I have contact with her mother! She is safe and asleep it was a hack!!!!"

6) paintedcastiel/insecurecharlie

Killed off a sockpuppet, insecurecharlie, then blamed hackers.

oh wow I just got back onto tumblr and suddenly there’s panic about insecurecharlie because of a message on the blog, but

insecurecharlie is just a saved url of mine. It is not a real person.

I never did anything to it and I have no idea why that message is on the blog.

it had no followers, and I’m overwhelmed to see how many worried asks there are for the blog. I’m so sorry that I wasn’t on earlier and that there is panic about it.

I’m going to delete the blog.

#cutebilbo #cutefrodo #praysammy #affectedbyhate #what if it was hacked like kingfrerin supposedly was #what if it's linked? #i'm going to change my password how do you even hack a side blog but not a main one #idk man i'm weirded out by this whole thing

(The answer to the question "how do you even hack a side blog but not a main one" is: you don't do that.)

But they seem at some point to have gotten confused about this narrative, and posted this on their main blog:

I have heard rumours like that going around, and I suspect they might be true in some instances. I’m not sure whether I hope it is true or I hope it isn’t. At least if people are sending messages to themselves, then they’re not receiving blind hatred. But sending hate messages to yourself- what does that say about you?

Unfortunately, I know this isn’t true in every case. Because it’s not true in my case. I fucking wish it was. If I had sent messages to myself, if my sole goal had been attention, maybe I wouldn’t have had three panic attacks, one after another, with barely time to recover in between. Maybe I wouldn’t have cried myself to sleep. Maybe I wouldn’t have contemplated doing what I haven’t done for almost a year- cutting myself.

Maybe people did send those messages to themselves. But I for one am not taking the fucking chance.

Do you have no empathy at all? You disgust me.

7) simormonroe + wearejustalike


Psuecide still in progress. The former is the latter's sockpuppet, the latter is blogging furiously about the former's suicide attempt and the cruel anonymous hate that drove her to it.

"Anonymous asked:
Oh come on, little you. Who are you gonna believe? Your little "supporter army" or me? Telling you exactly what you're thinking? You know I'm right, they're all lying.

what do you have against me please i can fix it i can fix it"

"her pulse is weakening again, but it’s there. we’ve been told to leave the room, so i’ll take a break until we know something more.

also, i’m turning off anon now because i’m getting sick of comments about proof. i’ve already given you what i find reasonable. thank you."

I have heard several rumours from people that have some kind of medical experience that Tevje (simormonroe)’s condition is fake. THIS IS NOT TRUE. It is very real, and it is very frightening. I have been down at the hospital and checked myself. I have spoken to the doctors and Frida (the person who has been given updates on her) and from what I’ve heard, which is far from everything, here’s some things you should know.

Information about her and her condition under the cut.

Tevje’s body is a medical wonder, no doctor actually know how it works. There has been numerous tests, but the theory is that there is something about her body that has not been discovered before, ever, by anyone.

8) whiskeyjensen

"just no.

no."

"lalalinka replied to your post “no.”
That’s a lot of no’s…No what?

no to life lol

well ok

ok bye

okok

not anymore."

"winterycastiel ilysm thank you for everything~ "

"tysm everyone~ i would literally be deadd rn if it wasn’t for wth are u thanking me for

ilysm"

[I assume something's missing here.]

"I’M FREAKING OUT I LOGGED OFF TWO DAYS AGO AFTER I GOT A VERY MEAN ANON SO I DECIDED TO TAKE A BREAK AND I POSTED A MYTHPOEM AS A LITTLE GOODBYE FAREWELL THINGY AND I JUST LOGGED ON AND SAW I HAD 1000+ MESSAGES IN MY INBOX AND OBVIOUSLY I GOT V CONFUSED SO I READ SOME AND THEY WHERE MENTIONING A PERSON CALLED ELVIRA AND IDK WHO THAT IS AND WISHING ME A SPEEDY REVOVERY AND I JUST CHECKED MY POSTS AND I CAN ONLY FIND A COUPLE SIGNED BY THIS ELVIRA THEY’RE ALL ABOUT ME BEING IN RECOVERY AND IDK WHAT HAPPEND BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE THERE’ BEEN SOME POSTS DELETED INCLUDING THE TWO POSTS I MADE - THE ANSWER TO THE ANON AND THE MYTHPOEM AS MY GOODBYE FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS.

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE FILL ME IN ON WTF IS GOING ON WHY IS THERE PEOPLE IN MY INBOX THINKING I’VE BEEN IN A DRUG INDUCED COMA WHO IS THIS ELVIRA CHICK I’M FRKING OUT HELP ME PLEASE"

"you-are-a-wild-boar asked: You have every right to freak out. There are people hacking various blogs, posting suicide notes and self harm notes... not just you, many. No one is sure anymore if someone is actually going to kill themselves or is hacked. It's definitely a relief to hear that you are good and none of this was true! Why anyone would do this? They want others to panic, spread rumors and become suicidal too. It's disgusting...

THERE ARE?

PUBLISHING THIS BC I NEED TO SAY SOMETHING;

everyone, I appreciate all the love you are sending me rn bc of this hacker situation, but I’m alright, and apparently there’s people out there who’s not so please send your love to them~

I’ve been updates on everything, thank you so much~

I’ll set up a queue and reblog some posts and stuff because I want all this gone from my blog, I’ll also be changing my icon and deleting some posts and such.

I want you all to know that the two days I had off tumblr really helped, I’m feeling a lot better than I was three days ago, so if you in the future see posts about me wanting to kill myself please be skeptical.

WHAT KIND OF TWISTED PERSOSN GET’S OFF ON MAKING PEOPLE BELIEVE SOMEONE IS NEAR DEATH

OK SO I’VE BEEN UPDATED [I DON’T KNOW EVERYTHING YET BUT I’VE BEEN TOLD THAT I WAS HACKED]

I’M OKAY I’VE BEEN OFFLINE FOR TWO DAYS

ALSO I GOT ADVICED TO CHANCE MY URL AND PASSWORD, I WAS SWEATRJENSEN"

"Please you guys, I’m not freaking out anymore, I just want to relax and forget about this hacker.

I know you mean well when you send me a message about this hole situation, and I appreciate it, but please no more, I’m trying to relax and forget a little.

I probaly sound like an asshole, but please don’t send me anymore, try to send some kind asks to the pople who’re really down - seriously, I’m okay."

"I know I said I would so something when I hit 4k followers, and I now have 4007, but I really don’t have the energy rn so sorry I’m gonna wait to 5k don’t hate me."

BONUS - rainbowcas

Didn't go through with the death. Their remarks give the distinct impression that they worked out halfway through the project that dying wasn't going to benefit their follower count.

Seems to have been one of the earliest to go to work, on the 25th.

"Anonymous asked: seriously go die

i hope your holiday was the best yet.

Anonymous asked: nobody needs you

i hope nothing but good things happens to you.

Anonymous asked: :) ur a bitch who doesnt deserve to live

i hope you have a nice day."

"Anonymous asked: Hey I have a joke! Okay so what's the difference between a lobster with a boob job and a bus terminal that hasn't been cleaned in months?? One's a busty crustacean and one's a crusty bus station :D

i love you.

i have 20 messages in my inbox telling me to kill myself right now.

im sorry for whatever i did. please leave me alone."

"Anonymous asked: Congratulations on hitting 1.2k followers hun! That is hella impressive, I don't even have the .2 part! ?

it’s almost 1.4k now."

"my mother found out because you contacted the police i didnt want her to find out because all she’d do is threaten me. please who the fuck contacted the police. it was a sweet gesture but you should’ve asked

who the fuck contacted the police please tell me

the police just came to my door to ask about me and my suicidal posts im shaking"

"Anonymous asked: i hope your depression comes back tonight. i hope you take those pills. they're right there. take them. do us all a favor.

That’s not going to happen and I’ll tell you why.

Firstly, it wouldn’t be a favor to anyone. Not even me. A lot of people really like me and I like a lot of people. They’d be upset if I was gone and I’d miss them all terribly.

Second, I’m going to bed if my depression comes back. Fuck depression. I have shit to do.

Third, those pills are locked away. I didn’t want to tempt myself so I locked them away.

Stop being a fucking asshole. Get out of my inbox. Never come back. <3"

Unlike the others, however, they seem to have some regrets about their actions:

so i think it’s safe to say that i absolutely destroyed my end of the year follower goal…

Comments

[rachelmanija]

Are these related in some way? What's affected by hate? I assume not Requires Hate, since I never heard of any of these people.

I think "sprained her nose" and "Her body is a medical marvel" will be cherished forever in the annals of the internet. Or should be, anyway.

[snarp]

Okay. This is long. Uh.

These are all members of the Supernatural fandom. What we're seeing here is basically a case of mass hysteria caused by a cascade of people 1) faking anonymous hate mail against themselves, generally mentioning personal vulnerabilities and urging them to commit suicide in very specific ways, 2) after responding to their enemies for a while to build up the tension, faking suicide due to their intense distress over the anonymous hate, 3) successfully acquiring the attention and followers they wanted during this period and the necessary hospital drama narrated by a nonexistent person, 4) miraculously being resuscitated and/or claiming to have been "hacked" by bad guys, and 5) thus inspiring others to imitate the project.

Because people actually are buying the hacker story. It's a Christmas miracle.

Most of the "anonymous hate" is very, very obviously from the people to whom it was addressed. Or, it should be obvious! But a lot of the SPN fandom on Tumblr doesn't recognize these tactics! They're too young and are disengaged with the fandom lore, or else they're getting it from Andy fucking Blake of all people. (He's trying to "reach out" to the kids who committed pseuecide right now.) And kingfrerin/brvnner and rainbowcas are beloved BNFs, the former especially - see what happens when you go back a week or two in her name's tag. It's full of kids absolutely thrilled to get attention from her: "OH GOD BRVNNER FOLLOWS YOU THAT'S AMAZING" "OH GOD THANK YOU FOR REBLOGGING MY GIFSET."

I think that one of these two people was Patient 0 here, but I don't know exactly when kingfrerin got started. rainbowcas was at work on the 25th, which was the day someone first used the "#affectedbyhate" hashtag to refer to the evils of anonymous hate in the SPN fandom. There may be other vectors of contagion I don't know about, though.

There's a special complication here in that Tumblr SPN fandom has this weird incestuous dynamic where disagreement and negativity - or, rather, acknowledging that they are what they are - is unacceptable. They call each other "family" and do this "No True SPN Fan" thing where trufans never hurt one another's feelings. (rainbowcas's passive, gentle responses to her nonexistent abusers are an example of this shit.) So anyone who's got some resentment simmering under that uses the made-up raid as a cover for the nasty shit they've been wanting to send everyone who didn't give their fic kudos or who quietly unfollowed them in October.

And then there are also the people just who go "SEND ME ANON HATE BAD GUYS I'M READY FOR YOU LOL" and their friends do it to oblige them.

Variations upon the "pay attention to me I'm going to hurt myself" behavior also got very widespread, very quickly - you cannot go through that damn tag without finding kids talking about how the anon hate is triggering them into panic attacks, shaking, insomnia, and in the extra-manipulative cases, self-harm. One girl who looks about fourteen spent a while building up to cutting herself, posting pictures of herself holding the razor wanly against her face, to give people time to tell her not to. Then she posted her sliced-up arms. Another one about the same age's family appear to have checked her into a psychiatric hospital due to similar behavior. I hope the progenitors of this horseshit had a lot of fun.

So we have beloved BNFs doing gross manipulative shit, masses of kids with problems imitating the gross manipulative shit, and a culture that doesn't allow anyone to call anyone on it without getting shunned. The in-fandom people who are complaining mostly created new blogs specifically to do so. The Tumblr SPN fandom absolutely could not acknowledge that people had been sending themselves or their "family" anonymous abuse.

They needed to find another culprit, and after some flailing, 4chan and 8chan were settled upon. The narrative is: 4chan and 8chan are out to destroy all fandoms! By forcing depressed fans to commit suicide by being mean to them on anon!

Seriously. That right there is a serious post. People actually believe it.

And they're still convinced that people have actually killed themselves. People don't want to call the pseuecide BNFs on their shit publicly - they just started awkwardly pretending it wasn't happening when stuff started smelling funny. So a lot of people only saw the initial news of suicides, not the later "the hackers did it"/"she miraculously survived" stuff.

Anway, the problem with framing 4chan and 8chan was initially that there was no information about the non-existent raids on either board - the only posts about it were people asking confused questions about why Tumblr was so mad. (They've started humoring the mob now, so there are now some fake Plans up. Very thoughtful of them.) But the fandom already established that these raids had to exist. So the bad guys had to be hiding somewhere, plotting in secret.

There's chat site called Omegle where you type an "interest" into a box and are sent to a chatroom with a random invidual who shares that interest. It's popular for fandom roleplay stuff. People started making posts offering to support those who were having panic attacks or feeling suicidal on Omegle, under the "affectedbyhate" interest. At some point, someone got the idea to go on there and pretend that they were a Bad Guy From 4chan/8chan.

Within less than a day, everyone's convinced that the bad guys are plotting on Omegle (specifically in that fandom-created "affectedbyhate" tag, of course!), exchanging the names of "targets" and lists of things that will particularly upset them, so as to drive them to suicide most effectively.

I spent a while on there Monday night - I didn't meet a single person who was not obviously giving me either a fake name or their own to "divert" me, the bad guy, from hurting "truly vulnerable people." Shit like "[name] is strong and will be hard to crack! But they have a secret weakness - they tragically self-harm, leaving an intricate and beautiful pattern of scars on their arms. But she must be taken down, because she is spying on us, and has helped far, far too many people!"

Several of them immediately admitted to what they were doing when I asked them. It's amazing. The entire chat is just kids playing spy games. A lot of them definitely known on some level that it's just a role-playing game, but some aren't in the loop and are taking it totally seriously.

Once they've extracted the names of some "targets," they go back onto Tumblr and excitedly warn people that the bad guys are after them, and the other kid goes, "oh no!" A lot of them deny that they were the ones putting their names up, obviously. And some of them didn't, as this is another good avenue for hassling your enemies/delivering the exciting gift of anon hate to your friends.

It's clearly very enjoyable to those who are playing the game. However, these deeply caring spies, who just want to help!, are posting full chat transcripts which contain lists of things that upset the users - eating disorders, child abuse, deceased relatives - without considering whether the users in question would want that. The ones who did not actually go into the chat often don't, and I'm sure that some of the ones who did go in there start regretting it. There's peer pressure to do it to "fight against the bad guys."

There's also this incoherent little mythology about the leader of the raids being someone named "Vince" - a kid cleverly identified Vince as a GamerGate guy on Twitter, which was very confusing for him and everyone else. I actually tried to step in and save a Twitter GamerGater from Tumblr SPN fans, so this has been pretty much the worst year of my life.

While I was on Omegle I spent a while trying to convince people that Vince had "betrayed us" and @Dril was now in charge, and that the bad guys were communicating using "Sbemail." This sadly did not catch on, though my behavior did cause several people to try to warn webcomic artist KC Green that he was being targeted for being an "otherkin furry." Sorry, Mr. Green. (He doesn't have messaging enabled.)

And now 4chan and 8chan have found out that their names have been slandered. They started posting pictures of poop and stuff in the #supernatural tag while I was writing this.

Happy New Year!

(Here is a blog where I'm saving my "favorite" posts from the tags, and here is the first post I made about the situation.)

[rachelmanija]

Um, wow. Thanks for the long explanation. It's too bad fandom wank seems to be defunct, or I'd suggest you put this up as a wank report.

hey're getting it from Andy fucking Blake of all people. (He's trying to "reach out" to the kids who committed pseuecide right now.)

Jesus Christ. Can you sic some fake anon haters on him?

[snarp]

He actually uses his "block" button.

[starlady]

This sadly did not catch on, though my behavior did cause several people to try to warn webcomic artist KC Green that he was being targeted for being an "otherkin furry." Sorry, Mr. Green.

Maybe I've had quite a lot to drink today, but this was where I lost it. What in the everloving fuck, SPN fandom. For srs.

[petronia]

You've made me feel way better about wank in my ongoing fandom, so thanks and happy 2015. XD

[snarp]

Oh, god. I missed two of them. mopeters1954's pseuecide is still in progress, and [name redacted] (?) has already deleted.

And there's someone in the tag plagiarizing Leelah Alcorn's suicide note, jesus.

Edit: Ignoring the one I don't want to even engage with, I also missed spnpie1967.

[loligo]

WHY GOD WHY

(just... all of it! why?)

[azurelunatic]

Oh god. Wow. And as if it weren't wackyterrible enough already, Andy Blake.

[lb_lee]

Here because I'm buddies with some of the Andy-warn tumblr folks. Hi! *wave*

Just... damn. DAYMN, son. Where do you even go with this? And yeah, agree with one of the previous commenters that this is fandom wank material.

I've been trying to pull away from tumblr because of this, plus what with the Leelah Acorn stuff, I'm... I'm kinda done. Thanks for keeping track of it all! Are you screencapping as well? I suspect more of these entries will get deleted.

--Rogan

[remindmeofthe]

Wow, thanks for pulling this all together. It really makes me miss fandom_wank. Not necessarily for the assholery that frequently went down in the comments, but because a centralized location for shit like this is something fandom needs, I think. These all read like every single pseuicide ever reported at f_w. (All that's missing is the stutter-typing.) We lose our history and the cycle starts over again.