I Am Completely Serious

There was this guy who apparently got locked out of his room just before six AM, and his solution to this was to bang on the RA's door on and off and yell for her for - this is not an exaggeration - more than half an hour. It seemed to me fairly likely that she was not in residence, but perhaps he had avenues of intelligence unavailable to me, *I* don't know. I eventually went out and asked him if he'd tried calling security to unlock it for him yet, and he muttered something about no, he hadn't, but man, he didn't have fifteen bucks right now, and there's someone in/and a somewhere or a something and man, he'd go call security now, sorry for waking you up. Aw, *man...*

Anyway, from his behavior and pallour I suspected the involvement of alcohol, and do not think it unlikely that he at some point in his adventures ended up in the wrong bathroom, acting in a manner unbefitting Western sanitary norms.