![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
snarpSome of the cherub sections from the 99%-OCs fanventure/askblog thing I will never actually put together. (I can’t draw.)
-
[From a notebook which the “player” finds early on:]
Death is a series of passages, of which there is a last step. The first is sleep, from which we come back; then we die in dreams, and we also come back then. Then we die when we are children, and from here we begin to fail to return. You will not return.
HAHAHA fuck you
There exists until the last step the possibility of return - though there is the chance, even the likelihood, that you will return changed. The final passage takes a very long time to reach, and some who died in the universe before our own, and the universe before that, have yet to make it. It is a sort of death wherein even memory of you dies - even the world’s memory of you - even time’s. Obviously this is desirable.
holy fuck YOU HAVE GOT PROBLEMS
-
[“Female” cherub’s introduction, when the “player” tries to take control of her through the narrative prompt:]
She doesn’t know what you’re talking about.
Her name is Nul. What should she do?
>> Go to sleep.
Well, that’s the thing. She *shouldn’t* do anything.
Through no fault of her own, though she came into being within a time healthy and viable, at some point in the past few sweeps, she found that she had entered into a portion of time and space cut off from the possibility of life. A “doomed timeline,” as it’s called by the players of a certain game. She does not play games. Sometimes she engages in them, in a specific way, but she does not play them.
>> Go to sleep.
Play implies a certain lack of seriousness of which she is not capable. Play rejects the narcissism that is despair. It’s the wrong thing to do, as far as she’s concerned. If this game - the one that is apparently so important to people she has never met - had ever been made available to her, she would not have been interested in it. And because she didn’t care about it, her brother wouldn’t, either. (There was never any hope that he would live.)
She doesn’t know what happened to destroy her world’s viability. Somewhere, a dog failed to bark or a gun jammed, or someone fell asleep or someone couldn’t fall asleep, or a finger coated in honey was wiped clean on the tail of a grimy shirt. She doesn’t know. She can’t know.
This doesn’t bother her. What bothers her, if you can call it that, is this: in that other world, she would not have survived. But this world is dead, and here she is.
>> Go to sleep.
She’s not a child anymore, but her wings won’t come in - it’s a symptom of of a universe dying of planned obsolescence, she thinks, like a dead pixel - and her thoughts killed her brother. She never cared if she won, because she knew she wouldn’t have time to enjoy it. In another world, she didn’t. Here, she’s got all the time in the world, and no wings.
What should she do?
>> Go to sleep.
Like I said, she shouldn’t do anything. She’s the wrong one. Anything she does will be evil.
But did you know you can be bad at being evil? You totally can.
The things she thinks about are, like: Can you do evil over the computer, while sitting down? She’d prefer that. Or can you do it by just… thinking about it?
Well, yes. She has.
This is the only form of aggression with which she’s really familiar - just the focused experience of her own hate, sort of a backwards meditation, creating a mental environment so toxic that one day it finally drowned her brother in his sleep. It was days before she realized he was gone, in fact. A little unsatisfying.
She’s been wondering. Can that be applied to other people? And is there anyone else out there she could possibly hate that much?
-
NUL: …
NUL: That’s wrong.
OBLADI: what’s wrona
NUL: There are no towers to receive the cardinals.
OBLADI: i think its kernels
NUL: That sounds stupid.
OBADLI: don’t talk shit
OBLADI: no there’s no towers on derse itself there’s onlv even one olaver tower on the moon see?
NUL: …I don’t see any.
OBLADI: vou’re fuckina standina in one dumbass
OBLADI: vours
OBLADI: vou’re the onlv fuckina olaver whos alive and dreamina
NUL: I can’t play this game. I wouldn’t try. It was not meant for my kind.
OBLADI: veah well that hasn’t stoooed all of vou
NUL: Not cherubs. Those who are no longer children. I’m too old.
NUL: How can I be here, if he isn’t?
OBLADI: well he’d be on orosoit orobablv we can’t ao there
OBLADI: but like i said it doesn’t matter the aame’s not olavable in this state
OBLADI: i should’ve been the time olaver but there’s no tower for me and vou can’t olav without time
OBLADI: i don’t know who soace was but thev never woke uo we’re the onlv ones here
NUL: Why?
OBLADI: cause shit is fucked uo here follow me
NUL: Where?
OBLADI: the fuckina crvot where mv fuckina corose is where else would i want to ao
NUL: …
OBLADI: see there is me and i am dead on the time bed where i oelona
OBLADI: and that is where vou would ao
NUL: It’s too small.
OBLADI: no vou’re too oia but see
OBLADI: we’re reallv the onlv ones here
OBLADI: the others didn’t aet olaces to sleeo or even olaces to die
OBLADI: but somehow vou aot both
OBLADI: now look at the fuckina taoestrv
NUL: “The Knight of Sleep remains.”
NUL: I don’t know what that means.
OBLADI: kniaht of sleeo’s vou obviouslv and it means vou’ve aot somethina to do with sleeo in like vour basic fuckina nature i don’t know
OBLADI: like me with time and death
OBLADI: like it’s somethina vou’ve aot to overcome or come to terms with or somethina
OBLADI: and it means vou have a olace here where none of the rest of us do
NUL: …
NUL: Do you want to play the game?
OBLADI: i don’t know
OBLADI: i think it’s whv we were fuckina hatched so im sort of aaainst it from that oersoective
OBLADI: cause vamete would be all over it riaht
OBLADI: but anvwav it doesn’t matter it’s imoossible
NUL: I could destroy your body and spirit.
OBLADI: what the fuck
NUL: I have no wings. I do not believe that it will ever be right for me to fly. But you could fly to the other moon on which your friends may sleep, if you were alive again.
-
(The main character here is in fact Yamete (Yamete Kureee, the troll who killed Obladi), but she’s intended to be kind of a blank slate personality-wise for “player”-input reasons, so she can’t have this sort of extended conversation.)
-
[From a notebook which the “player” finds early on:]
Death is a series of passages, of which there is a last step. The first is sleep, from which we come back; then we die in dreams, and we also come back then. Then we die when we are children, and from here we begin to fail to return. You will not return.
HAHAHA fuck you
There exists until the last step the possibility of return - though there is the chance, even the likelihood, that you will return changed. The final passage takes a very long time to reach, and some who died in the universe before our own, and the universe before that, have yet to make it. It is a sort of death wherein even memory of you dies - even the world’s memory of you - even time’s. Obviously this is desirable.
holy fuck YOU HAVE GOT PROBLEMS
-
[“Female” cherub’s introduction, when the “player” tries to take control of her through the narrative prompt:]
She doesn’t know what you’re talking about.
Her name is Nul. What should she do?
>> Go to sleep.
Well, that’s the thing. She *shouldn’t* do anything.
Through no fault of her own, though she came into being within a time healthy and viable, at some point in the past few sweeps, she found that she had entered into a portion of time and space cut off from the possibility of life. A “doomed timeline,” as it’s called by the players of a certain game. She does not play games. Sometimes she engages in them, in a specific way, but she does not play them.
>> Go to sleep.
Play implies a certain lack of seriousness of which she is not capable. Play rejects the narcissism that is despair. It’s the wrong thing to do, as far as she’s concerned. If this game - the one that is apparently so important to people she has never met - had ever been made available to her, she would not have been interested in it. And because she didn’t care about it, her brother wouldn’t, either. (There was never any hope that he would live.)
She doesn’t know what happened to destroy her world’s viability. Somewhere, a dog failed to bark or a gun jammed, or someone fell asleep or someone couldn’t fall asleep, or a finger coated in honey was wiped clean on the tail of a grimy shirt. She doesn’t know. She can’t know.
This doesn’t bother her. What bothers her, if you can call it that, is this: in that other world, she would not have survived. But this world is dead, and here she is.
>> Go to sleep.
She’s not a child anymore, but her wings won’t come in - it’s a symptom of of a universe dying of planned obsolescence, she thinks, like a dead pixel - and her thoughts killed her brother. She never cared if she won, because she knew she wouldn’t have time to enjoy it. In another world, she didn’t. Here, she’s got all the time in the world, and no wings.
What should she do?
>> Go to sleep.
Like I said, she shouldn’t do anything. She’s the wrong one. Anything she does will be evil.
But did you know you can be bad at being evil? You totally can.
The things she thinks about are, like: Can you do evil over the computer, while sitting down? She’d prefer that. Or can you do it by just… thinking about it?
Well, yes. She has.
This is the only form of aggression with which she’s really familiar - just the focused experience of her own hate, sort of a backwards meditation, creating a mental environment so toxic that one day it finally drowned her brother in his sleep. It was days before she realized he was gone, in fact. A little unsatisfying.
She’s been wondering. Can that be applied to other people? And is there anyone else out there she could possibly hate that much?
-
NUL: …
NUL: That’s wrong.
OBLADI: what’s wrona
NUL: There are no towers to receive the cardinals.
OBLADI: i think its kernels
NUL: That sounds stupid.
OBADLI: don’t talk shit
OBLADI: no there’s no towers on derse itself there’s onlv even one olaver tower on the moon see?
NUL: …I don’t see any.
OBLADI: vou’re fuckina standina in one dumbass
OBLADI: vours
OBLADI: vou’re the onlv fuckina olaver whos alive and dreamina
NUL: I can’t play this game. I wouldn’t try. It was not meant for my kind.
OBLADI: veah well that hasn’t stoooed all of vou
NUL: Not cherubs. Those who are no longer children. I’m too old.
NUL: How can I be here, if he isn’t?
OBLADI: well he’d be on orosoit orobablv we can’t ao there
OBLADI: but like i said it doesn’t matter the aame’s not olavable in this state
OBLADI: i should’ve been the time olaver but there’s no tower for me and vou can’t olav without time
OBLADI: i don’t know who soace was but thev never woke uo we’re the onlv ones here
NUL: Why?
OBLADI: cause shit is fucked uo here follow me
NUL: Where?
OBLADI: the fuckina crvot where mv fuckina corose is where else would i want to ao
NUL: …
OBLADI: see there is me and i am dead on the time bed where i oelona
OBLADI: and that is where vou would ao
NUL: It’s too small.
OBLADI: no vou’re too oia but see
OBLADI: we’re reallv the onlv ones here
OBLADI: the others didn’t aet olaces to sleeo or even olaces to die
OBLADI: but somehow vou aot both
OBLADI: now look at the fuckina taoestrv
NUL: “The Knight of Sleep remains.”
NUL: I don’t know what that means.
OBLADI: kniaht of sleeo’s vou obviouslv and it means vou’ve aot somethina to do with sleeo in like vour basic fuckina nature i don’t know
OBLADI: like me with time and death
OBLADI: like it’s somethina vou’ve aot to overcome or come to terms with or somethina
OBLADI: and it means vou have a olace here where none of the rest of us do
NUL: …
NUL: Do you want to play the game?
OBLADI: i don’t know
OBLADI: i think it’s whv we were fuckina hatched so im sort of aaainst it from that oersoective
OBLADI: cause vamete would be all over it riaht
OBLADI: but anvwav it doesn’t matter it’s imoossible
NUL: I could destroy your body and spirit.
OBLADI: what the fuck
NUL: I have no wings. I do not believe that it will ever be right for me to fly. But you could fly to the other moon on which your friends may sleep, if you were alive again.
-
(The main character here is in fact Yamete (Yamete Kureee, the troll who killed Obladi), but she’s intended to be kind of a blank slate personality-wise for “player”-input reasons, so she can’t have this sort of extended conversation.)
