I Am Completely Serious

The thing is, it's easier to hurt yourself using any number of common OTC things than the three things I listed up there. Like, Tylenol, Benadryl, and alcohol are relatively easy to hurt yourself with, but Modafinil, hormonal birth control, and kratom, not so much.

Plain-leaf kratom's so emetic that you'll start vomiting it back up long before you hit the danger zone - to the best of my knowledge no one's every managed to overdose on anything other than weird extracts. And... I've never heard of anyone getting actually sick from taking too much birth control or Modafinil, so I just looked it up. For birth control, apparently you'll throw up and maybe get some vaginal bleeding and skin problems if you take like, the whole packet at once. There's not a lot of data on Modafinil ODs, but apparently they're rare and not commonly fatal or permanently-damaging.

I don't really think that every single chemical in the world should be easily legally consumer-available - certainly some things are so dangerous that there should be a system of checks involving, like, prescriptions-as-they-are-now, hazmat-handling-licenses like there are now, and waiting periods like with firearms (to make impulsive suicides/poisonings more difficult).

But the way we currently do things is grossly inconsistent and hurts a lot of people. For most prescription drugs (and I'm totally including opioids, benzodiazepines, and marijuana here, to be clear) I don't think that relaxing the rules would result in a situation worse than the current one. The current situation is, in medical terms, a fucking shitshow.