Dad says inappropriate stuff.

[snarp]

Dad: Can I have two cookies?

Me: Okay.

Dad: No, bring them to me?

Me: No. You must actually stand up if you want some cookies.

Dad: Oh, no, honey, I can't, I can't. I ruptured my Achilles, I can't get up.

Me: You can't rupture that.

Dad: I ruptured my Achilles! I can't get up!

Me: You can't rupture a tendon.

Dad: Well, I hurt it. I hurt my back, I've got an anaphalaxis, a paralysis -

Mom: Just go get the cookie if you want it, dear.

Me: If you want a cookie, you have to get up.

Dad: I can't, I haven't had my Levitra.

Mom: Oh, no.

Me: Dad!

-

Later:

Dad: I'd love a cookie right now.

Me: Then get up and get one.

Dad: No, I stood up and I got really dizzy and I had a... a Prometheus.

Me: You had the guy who stole fire from the gods.

Dad: Yes.