I Am Completely Serious

You're better off under a sturdy table/desk or standing in a doorway (the more structurally important the wall it's in, the better, and my preferred go-to spot), rather than under the bed. It's more difficult to get out from under a collapsed bed/mattress/futon, for one thing; plus, unless it's at least partially lofted, you won't be able to get into the standard hiding-under-furniture, fetal-like crouching position they recommend. Can you tell I had to go through a lot of earthquake drills as a child? XD