Personal philosophy calibration.
Jan. 4th, 2016 04:32 pmI am naturally inclined to be a mean, judgmental jerk who writes people off entirely, which I do not like. I believe in the concept of a Bad Person fervently on an emotional level after about 11:00 PM, but not really in any other set of circumstances. So for the past few years, I've been trying to do like this:
If I find I'm thinking of someone as Bad, I try to nail down exactly what thing(s) they did that made me form that opinion.
And if they're justified, I go like, "okay, but what specific area of Badness is this?" And I try to recategorize the person, in my brain-spreadsheet, as "Cannot Presently Be Trusted To Make Decisions In This Area": and then there's a sub-table containing the list of things they are Bad at. If I have the mental energy for it, this table includes the dates of last observed failure of judgment, because maybe [name] has learned a valuable life lesson about [not hurting [category of person]] in between [date of last observed failure/defense of earlier failure matching category and] and [today's date].
(Spreadsheets obviously aren't the right format for this, maybe it'll get easier once I'm better at SQL.)
If I find I'm thinking of someone as Bad, I try to nail down exactly what thing(s) they did that made me form that opinion.
And if they're justified, I go like, "okay, but what specific area of Badness is this?" And I try to recategorize the person, in my brain-spreadsheet, as "Cannot Presently Be Trusted To Make Decisions In This Area": and then there's a sub-table containing the list of things they are Bad at. If I have the mental energy for it, this table includes the dates of last observed failure of judgment, because maybe [name] has learned a valuable life lesson about [not hurting [category of person]] in between [date of last observed failure/defense of earlier failure matching category and] and [today's date].
(Spreadsheets obviously aren't the right format for this, maybe it'll get easier once I'm better at SQL.)