(He's been saying he's going to write this book for at least eight years, it is getting old.)

[snarp]

Dad: I'm going to write a book about all the times I go to Starbucks. It'll be called "Adventures in Coffee."

Me: You don't even finish reading books. You do not have the attention span to write one.

Dad: I have an iPad!

Me: That doesn't solve the problem.

Dad: It's easy, it'll just be a description of all my trips to Starbucks, I'll write them all down and I'll have a book.

Me: Nobody wants to read that book. That's not even a book, it's more like a blog. Do you want me to set you up a blog.

Dad: No, I'll use my trips to Starbucks as like, pivot points, like "what has happened in the world since I was last in a Starbucks."

Me: "Nothing, it's only been twenty minutes, I go to Starbucks way too much."

Dad: I think it's a great idea! "Adventures in Coffee!"

Me: How about instead I start a blog where I just post all the absurd things you say - "Dad Says Stuff" - and when it gets a million readers for no good reason we turn it into a book.

Dad: Okay. It's called "Adventures in Coffee!"