Dawn, by Octavia Butler: An Unbelievably Serious Synopsis

[snarp]

THE OANKALI: hello yes, we are the alien invaders and we represent colonialism.

LILITH: Oh fuck THAT shit.

OANKALI: lilith, lilith, we need you to help us seduce the tattered remnants of post-apocalyptic humanity to our cause.

LILITH: What exactly is your cause?

OANKALI: literal seduction, you will have our babies.

LILITH: Did you guys really have to go straight for the woman named "Lilith" for help with your monsterbaby plan. Did you guys think this through.

OANKALI: not guys. our dominant gender is tentacle-rape, preferred pronoun is tentacle-rapist.

LILITH: Did you alter my brain chemistry to make me attracted to tentacle-rapists?

OANKALI: are you even familiar with human sexuality. why would we need to alter your brain chemistry for that.

(yes though, yes we totally did. also everyone else's.)

LILITH: Okay, well, now I am space-married to a tentacle-rapist and pregnant with a monsterbaby and the man I loved is dead and I am permanently alienated from my own species. So, thanks. Thanks for that.

OANKALI: you're welcome, we still represent colonialism.

but also it is biologically impossible for people to be gay now, did you notice that lilith, because that is a thing we did.

LILITH: The next book's gonna have to be from my monsterbaby's POV, because I am so done.