I've lost a bunch of weight due to many things being horrible the past couple years.

I'm not going to say I'm not glad about the weight-loss thing. But if, like, Yuuko from xxxHolic or someone had showed up the night before graduation and told me I had twenty-four hours to choose between thirty pounds and extended existential horror + special bonus brain surgery, I suspect I'd have gone with the former. It's not an end that I feel justifies the means.

So it annoys me when people I haven't seen for a few years get wide-eyed and congratulate me, because clearly I must be far better off now, regardless of all other factors. Yesterday I wrote myself a new script:

"Thank you for contacting Sarah! Your opinion is important to her. Please stay on the line, and an operator will be with you in: (here I need to switch into a robot-y voice I guess) seven. bajillion. years."

Then I mime hanging up a phone.

I think that this will communicate my feelings effectively. It's more convenient than my other idea because I won't have to carry teaching puppets and mace.