Ch12 - p21

Feb. 27th, 2017 12:00 am
[syndicated profile] unsounded_feed

Posted by Ashley


Down there, birdwoman, geez. Is it Lady Ilganyag or Lady Macbeth?
 
Readers, I hate to do this, but I must head out of town to distant Seattle tomorrow and I won't have access to my work computer. I don't love the timing but updates will be going on hiatus until March 10. I'll come back that Friday with a two page update, at least, and the end of this scene. Hang tight until then, and thanks for your patience!

Linkspam: fannish/geeky/SFF, misc.

Feb. 26th, 2017 10:37 pm
[personal profile] umadoshi
Fannish/Geeky Things/SFF

"Gerard Butler, Neal Moritz Team to Adapt Fantasy Novel 'A Darker Shade of Magic'".

"Hayao Miyazaki is officially moving forward with a new Studio Ghibli movie".

"Nebula nominations with free reads!" "Every year I have trouble finding a hyperlinked list of all the free Hugo and Nebula reading, so this time I’m going to take the initiative and make one myself right away instead of waiting."


Miscellaneous

"How to Draw an Exoplanet: A pair of illustrators turned tiny blips in data into vivid views from the TRAPPIST-1 star system".

"10+ Animals That Look Like They’re About To Drop The Hottest Albums Of The Year".

"Scientists Used a Little Bee Puppet to Teach Real Bees How to Play Bee ‘Soccer’". (And about 40 seconds of footage here on YouTube.)

"Cards Against Humanity co-creator sends newest board game, Secret Hitler, to all 100 U.S. senators".

"Readers' prize winning pictures of cats". [The Guardian]

"Terrorists are building drones. France is destroying them with eagles". [Washington Post] "The eagles — named d'Artagnan, Athos, Porthos and Aramis — grew up with their nemeses. They chased drones through green grass that summer, pecking futilely at composite shells as seen in Sky News footage. They were rewarded with meat, which they ate off the backs of the drones."

"It's very hard to maintain an anonymous Twitter account that can withstand government-level attempts to de-anonymize it". [Boing Boing]

"Google and Mozilla's message to AV and security firms: Stop trashing HTTPS: Researchers call out antivirus and security appliance vendors for dangerous SSL inspection practises".

"The Trash Heap Has Spoken: The power and danger of women who take up space". "Every day, I look for myself in other women’s bodies. This is what happens when you never see yourself in television shows or catalogues or movies—you get hungry. In passersby, I seek out a faithful replica of my own full chest: my plastic-bag stomach pooched over jeans, my milk-carton hips, and my face with its peach-pit cheekbones set in coffee grounds. In this way, I see myself in pieces, mostly, and have to assemble my body in my mind." [Content notes: discusses weight/weight loss attempts etc., but doesn't dwell on them terribly, IMO.]

"27 Bookish Goods For Cat Lovers". [Book Riot]

"When Things Go Missing: Reflections on two seasons of loss". [The New Yorker]

"12 Powerful Posters Of Female Scientists That Every Classroom Needs".

"Ikea Lab Releases Free Designs For A Garden Sphere That Feeds A Neighborhood".

"REFUGE Restrooms" is "a web application that seeks to provide safe restroom access for transgender, intersex, and gender nonconforming individuals. When the Safe2Pee website passed out of functionality it left a hole in our hearts. REFUGE picks up the torch where Safe2Pee left off and makes the valuable resource available to those who find themselves in need of a place to pee safely once again. Users can search for restrooms by proximity to a search location, add new restroom listings, as well as comment and rate existing listings. We seek to create a community focused not only on finding existing safe restroom access but also looking forward and participating in restroom advocacy for transgender, intersex, and gender nonconforming folk."
[personal profile] james_davis_nicoll
Unlocked.

I haven't actually been trained for the job but I am somewhat better qualified than the other choice, because it was her first day.

Get Out

Feb. 26th, 2017 06:58 pm
[personal profile] inkstone
It's very difficult to write a review that both does this movie justice and doesn't spoil the experience of watching it.

The short version? WATCH IT.

Holy shit, it's such a good movie. The way it's put together, the acting, the beats (both on a narrative and horror level)...It is superb.

I've noticed some reviews making a point to say it's not horror, it's thriller! It's a satire! No. Don't believe them. This is a horror movie. It may not be a slasher or torture-porn or unrelenting supernatural terror (e.g. Halloween, Saw, or The Ring) but it is horror. Unnerving you psychologically and socially is horror. The genre prides itself on fueling dread and anxiety and anticipation of what bad thing is going to happen next. Get Out does all of those things -- including the horror of what black people face every day in the U.S.

The thing I especially appreciated is that in horror movies, we often get used to seeing characters make stupid decisions using what I affectionately call "horror movie logic." The main character, Chris, makes no stupid decisions. What you see on screen is the compromises made by a POC, a black man, in navigating the microaggressions that permeate US society.

Now, if you're a fragile white person, this movie will make you uncomfortable. It's already making lots of people uncomfortable. ("It's racist! It's anti-white!") No, this examines the horror inherent in social structures the same way The Purge series does (although Get Out is written and directed by a black man and it shows.)

Thumbs up. Highly recommend. It deserves its #1 spot in the box office and the 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

linkspam on a sunny Sunday

Feb. 26th, 2017 03:35 pm
[personal profile] cofax7
I don't know about you all, but I have had the hardest time concentrating for the last few months. Funny, that. ;-)

*

In case you need some distraction, I cannot recommend strongly enough [profile] ursulav's Summer in Orcus, which is a simply lovely portal fantasy in which birds engage in Regency banter and you will never think well of "house-hunters" again. It's on the children/YA boundary, but with rich characterizations and sensible psychological underpinnings. Plus Vernon's brilliantly creative world-building. Run out and get it!

*

And now on to the linkspam:

Courtesy of Linda Holmes at PCCH: this essay on hiking the Appalachian Trail as a black woman. Just lovely. A thing I found myself repeatedly explaining to hikers who asked about my books and my experience wasn't that I feared them, but that there was no such thing as freedom from vulnerability for me anywhere in this land. That I might be tolerated in trail towns that didn't expect to see a black hiker, but I'd rarely if ever feel at ease.

I know Reddit can be a sty, but every once in a while you find something like this summary of all of the Trump-Russian issues.



Here’s a guide from Wired about US Customs and digital privacy. And another essay on the same issue.



Holy crap this is awesome.

I believe this is a church-related group working to protect immigrants.

You’ve probably already seen this link: Welcome to the America black people have always lived in.

This migrant workers’ rights group does good work.

*

This is some deep subtweeting: how to identify the Hunger Games districts by using federal government statistics.

Noted for later reading: an essay on the political philosophy of Winter Soldier.

This potato-leek soup looks really tasty.

Old-school X-Files folks may find this Tumblr entertaining. I have to admit that I mostly subscribed to it to see if I was ever going to get recced there (I was, eventually :D ), but it's also fun seeing both classics from old friends get name-checked, and work from relative newbies I'd never heard of. If I were much into fic these days, I'd be reading (and re-reading) a lot of this!

*

I've been doing a lot of baking recently. Two successes: a batch of Mexican-chocolate-and-cherry brownies, and a batch of ginger oatmeal cookies. One only moderate success: yet another attempt at macarons. These were both flat and undercooked, although they tasted fine. I'm now 0 for 4 at macarons: I may give them up and try my hand at choux pastry instead...

Happily, the rain appears to have stopped for a bit, so I may be able to get some more running in, which will be healthier than baking.

adventures in bad poetry

Feb. 26th, 2017 05:49 pm
[personal profile] rushthatspeaks
[personal profile] nineweaving recently gave me John Julius Norwich's Christmas Crackers, which is a commonplace book filled with the quotations Norwich has, for many years, collected and typed out as Christmas cards and crackers (the store-bought ones don't say much interesting, usually). It's a very good commonplace book, distinguished by being funnier and more impressive than those usually get, and I am treating it as one should treat commonplace books, i.e. opening it occasionally at random, giggling, and putting it down again. In no circumstance do I intend to read it straight through, because then what would there be to boggle at when I pick it off the shelf and open it randomly in a few years or decades?

Anyway, as good commonplace books do, it collects bad poetry as well as good, and I opened it to something so thoroughly appalling that the selection has been stuck in my head for more than a week. I truly think this belongs in the annals of terrible verse with William Topaz McGonagall and Julia Ann Moore, for the comma splices if for nothing else (and there is else). I showed it to Ruth, and spent the next five minutes desperately wishing for a video camera; I really thought they were going to throw the book out of the window.

Abandon hope, etcetera. )

Feb. 26th, 2017 03:38 pm
[personal profile] meganbmoore
Since I started watching kdramas as they air over the last couple of years (after roughly a decade of typically waiting the 2-3 months until they finished airing) and trying to watch cdramas as they aired or fairly close to it, I’ve gotten more used to their airing schedules and narrative structures than to US airing schedules.

Korea? Two 55-70 minute episodes on back-to-back nights each week, episodes are skipped only in the case of something huge, or if the shooting schedule gets too tight. Resolves all major plotlines with rare exceptions.

China? EVERYTHING is prefilmed so no danger of hiatuses due to filming, and episodes are only delayed in case of something major. Depending on the series and channel, anywhere from 3-20 episodes (but usually a slightly-more-reasonable 4-10) that are 30-45 minutes long drop each week until the series is over. Resolves all major plotlines with rare exceptions. Bingewatching was the norm long before Netflix streaming was a twinkle in anyone’s eye.

US? One 25-50 minute episode a week. When we feel like it. Expect us to take 9 months to air 20-24 episodes. With rare exceptions, don’t expect us to air more than 3-4 subsequent weeks. Month long hiatuses whenever we can. You'll probably escape this if our seasons are only 10 or so episodes, so there is that. We resolve nothing unless we can introduce something else to keep unresolved for a while more often than not. Hope we get another season so you can closure and answers, because we LOVE cliffhangers.
[syndicated profile] erinptah_feed

Posted by Erin Ptah

The year is 1949. The Republicans are the left-wing party; Hialeah Park is doing a booming horse-racing business; and Mickey Rooney is best known as the adorable fresh-faced star of the Andy Hardy movies.

Also, Gracie Allen is Tumblr. This adult male actor is her son now. She adopted him, he is her child, sorry folks but she doesn’t make the rules.

Download the episode here, and read the transcript below.


Well, it’s pretty hard to surprise a man who’s been married to Gracie Allen for 15 years. He’s heard everything. But occasionally even George gets a jolt. For example, today, when Gracie said…

Gracie Allen: George, would you like to have a son?

George Burns: Sure, Gracie.

Gracie: Oh, good. Then we’re adopting Mickey Rooney.

[laughter]

George: Adopting Mickey Rooney?

Gracie: Yes, dear. I’ve been reading about him in this movie magazine. You know, that poor little child needs a home. Someone to guide him. Look – here’s a picture of him driving a car.

George: Mm, what’s wrong with that?

Gracie: Well, that’s no plaything for a child! Why, the dear little boy should be cuddling a doll.

George [dryly]: Look again, he probably is. [audience laughter] Gracie, Mickey Rooney may look like a little boy, but I’ve got news for you. He’s old enough to get married.

Gracie [chuckling]: Ooh, married. Aw, George, you’re funny. Why, I’ll bet he doesn’t know what life is all about.

George: He knows as much as I do.

Gracie: Well there, y’see?

[laughter]

George: We’re not adopting Mickey Rooney. If we adopt anyone, it’ll be a minor.

Gracie: Ohh, no. I’m not gonna have a miner tracking coal dust across my carpet.

George: I mean, Mickey is too old to adopt. He’s a grown man.

Gracie: George, he’s a child. If he wasn’t a child, he wouldn’t be going to horse races!

George: They’re for children?

Gracie: Well, certainly! I read that the Kentucky Derby is just for three-year-olds.

[laughter]

George: O-kay, have it your way, Mickey Rooney is a child. We’re still not adopting him.

Gracie: But, dear, he needs a father and a mother. And that happens to work out just right for us! You’re a man and I’m a woman!

George [deadpan]: No other couple can make that statement.

Gracie: Y’know, Mickey’s becoming a juvenile delinquent. A boy who robs the very studios he works for.

George: Where’d you get that?

Gracie: It’s right here in this article. It says he steals every picture he’s in.

George: This is murder.

Gracie: Well, just think of that poor little boy associating with thieves and crooks! Maybe we can keep him from falling in with worse company.

George: Gracie, he associates with actors.

Gracie: …We’re too late, huh.

George: Yes, and forget it.

Gracie: But there’s always a chance a good home can save him. And by adopting Mickey, we’ll keep two children out of mischief!

George: Two children?

Gracie: Well, yes, I’ll be too busy to get into trouble.

[laughter]

George: I forgot you’re a child.

Gracie: Well, I’m not really, but everyone thinks I am! They think I play with marbles.

George: You?

Gracie: Well, yeah – often I’ve heard people say ‘I don’t think she’s got all her marbles.’

[laughter]

George: Yes, I’ve heard that myself, that’s getting around.

Gracie: Well, I’ll run over to Mickey’s house and get him.

George: Hold it, hold it! Once and for all, you cannot adopt him. Besides, he won’t let you. He’ll laugh right in your face.

Gracie: Well, if he does, I’ll push him off the chair he’s standing on.

[laughter]

George: Gracie…I know you mean well, so I hate to get tough with you, but you force me to. I forbid you even to talk to Mickey Rooney. I command you to stay in this house. That is an order.

Gracie: Oh, George, I didn’t realize you were so strong and masterful!

George: I am when I have to be.

Gracie: Awww, you’re gonna make a wonderful father for Mickey. Now excuse me while I change my clothes.

[door closing noise]

George: By golly, this time I’ll head her off. I’ll go over and warn Mickey.

[jaunty scene change music]

 

[knocking]

Mickey Rooney [terrible racist Japanese accent]: What do want, please?

George: I wanna see Mickey Rooney.

Mickey Rooney: Vella solly, Mista Looney not come home, Looney leave town, not come back, goodbye please, chop chop.

George: Well, tell him George Burns was here.

Mickey Rooney: Oh? Oh, George, wait a minute. [unlocking door, drops accent] Hi, George, come in.

George: Hello, Mickey. [audience applause] What’s the idea of the big routine?

Mickey Rooney: I’m hiding out from my studio, George. They want me to play another of those innocent little kid parts. I’m fed up to the teeth with them.

George: But, Mickey, you were great as Andy Hardy with Lewis Stone as your father.

Mickey Rooney: George, if he tells me about the birds and bees once more, I’ll sting ‘im.

George: You wanna do the grown-up stuff, eh?

Mickey Rooney: Why, sure. There’s another part in the same picture that I’d love to do. A tough guy that kills. This beautiful girl is crazy about me. She’s with me when the cops close in. The place is full’a tear gas! We’re kissin’ and cryin’! ‘Awright, come up with your hands up, killer, we got you surrounded!’ ‘Come an’ get me, copper!’ [machine gun type yelling] [falsetto] ‘Oh, Killer! Jimmy got hit! ‘It’s nothin’, kid! Just a few ribs shot away! Take that copper!’ [machine gun] Killer! Did ‘e get you again? ‘Aghh! Nellie, this is it! It’s goodbye!’ ‘No, Killer, don’t go, don’t leave me! I can’t live without’cha! I love you, kid! Ilovya!’…I’m gonna have to watch that girl, George, she’s pretty hammy.

George: Well, good luck, Mickey. I hope you get the part you want.

Mickey Rooney: Thanks, George. If I can hide from the studio long enough, I think they’ll give in.

George: Well, I just dropped by to warn you that Gracie has made up her mind to adopt you.

Mickey Rooney: Adopt me?

George: Yeah. She thinks you’re a little boy.

Mickey Rooney: Eh, you see? Everybody thinks I’m a kid. I’m the only dancer at the Palladium who gets cut in on by the truant officer.

George: It’s tough, Mickey.

Mickey Rooney: I’ll say it is! I buy a girl a present, I take her out in my car, I park, I pucker up, and what happens? She sticks a lollipop in my mouth.

[laughter]

George: Well, I just thought I’d warn you about Gracie. I told her not to bother you, but she, she pays no attention to me.

Mickey Rooney: Really? I thought husbands always gave the orders and wives always obeyed, without question.

George: Eheh heh heh…kid, you not only look young, you are young.

[audience loves it]

George: So long, Mickey.

Mickey Rooney: So long.

 

[jaunty scene change music]

 

[knocking]

Mickey Rooney [terrible accent]: Velly solly, Mista Rooney not here, go ‘way please, chop chop.

Gracie: Open the door, Mickey! You can’t fool me with that English accent.

Mickey Rooney: That’s got to be Gracie. Just a minute. [unlocks door] ‘Scuse the act, Gracie, I’m hiding from my studio.

Gracie: Stealing again.

Mickey Rooney: Eh?

Gracie: Aww, Mickey boy, give up this life you’re leading, and come live with George and me.

Mickey Rooney: Heheh, I’d rather not.

Gracie: Everybody will think you’re George’s real son! You look just like ‘im!

Mickey Rooney: Now I’ve got two reasons to hide!

[audience loves it]

Gracie: Look, you need someone to look after you. Why aren’t you in school?

Mickey Rooney: [nervous laughter] I…I graduated.

Gracie: Well, that’s a pretty lame excuse. Besides, I don’t believe it.

Mickey Rooney: Aw, Gracie, come inside and I’ll show you my sheepskin!

Gracie: You leave your clothes on, young man! I’m not your mother yet! Aww, but I wanna be, Mickey. I’ll see that you get an education. I’ll even hire a private tutor to toot ‘cha.

Mickey Rooney: Aw, Gracie, I’ve been tutored. I have an education!

Gracie: Well, we’ll see whether you have or not. Spell ‘cat’.

Mickey Rooney [disbelieving]: ‘Cat’?

Gracie: [chuckles] Too tough for you, eh? I’ll give you a simpler word. Spell ‘to’.

Mickey Rooney: T-O, T-W-O, or T-O-O.

Gracie: Ohhh no, you don’t get three guesses. You’re really in a bad shape!

Mickey Rooney: Look, Gracie, I went to school. Just ask me questions about literature, or economics, chemistry, physics…anything, go ahead!

Gracie: Awright! Take chemistry.

Mickey Rooney: A’right.

Gracie: Who is the president of the United States?

[laughter]

Mickey Rooney: That, Gracie, is unrelated subject matter!

Gracie [sternly]: No, sir, that’s Harry S Truman.

Mickey Rooney: I mean, chemistry is nothing to do with a President. Chemistry is when you put a whole lot of strange things together, and get gas or something.

Gracie: No, that’s Congress.

[audience loves it]

Mickey Rooney: All right, you win, you win. Let’s take another subject. I majored in math and languages. Geometry and Latin!

Gracie: You did, huh.

Mickey Rooney: Yeah, sure!

Gracie: Let’s hear you say something in Geometry.

Mickey Rooney: Say something in Geometry?

Gracie: Yeah.

Mickey Rooney: Lemme see…pi r squared.

Gracie: Pi r squared, hahaha. That proves you never went to school. Pie are round!

[audience dying]

Gracie: Mickey, you better let me adopt you. You need help!

Mickey Rooney: Yes, well. [phone ringing] Excuse me, would you, Gracie? [picks up phone] Hello?

Director: Aha, caught you, you are in town!

Mickey Rooney [hasty accent]: No no no no, Mista Looney not here, Mista Looney leave town, chop chop!

Director: Too late, Mickey, too late! I’ll be right over to see you.

Mickey Rooney: Ahh, darnit. [hangs up] That was my director, Gracie. Now the studio’s found me!

Gracie: Why did you steal those pictures? Oh, they’ll send you to prison for life. Or maybe even longer!

Mickey Rooney: Gracie, waitaminute, what are you talking –

Gracie: Ah-ah-ah-ah, I won’t let them, you’re too young! I’ll take you home, and hide you, and give you a fresh start.

Mickey Rooney: But Gracie, I don’t have – hey, wait. The studio wouldn’t find me there at all, would they?

Gracie: Well, never! George’s house is the last place anyone would look for an actor.

[laughter]

Mickey Rooney: Mrs. Burns, you’ve got yourself a child.

Gracie: Sonny boy!

Mickey Rooney: Mammy!

[jaunty scene change music]

[Maxwell House ad]

 

[knocking on door]

Mickey Rooney [affected childish voice]: Well, here I am, Mama.

Gracie: Well, you certainly got here in a hurry, Michael.

Mickey Rooney: Michael? What’s with the Michael?

Gracie: Well, that’s your name now. Michael Burns.

Mickey Rooney [unenthusiastic]: But Mama, I–

Gracie: Now, come along, and I’ll show you your room. [door noise] Now: this is where you’ll sleep.

Mickey Rooney: Oh, well, it’s nice. But, ah…George is in that bed. I can see his head sticking out of the covers!

Gracie: That’s a teddy bear!

Mickey Rooney: Oh, oh.

Gracie: How could you mistake a teddy bear for George?

Mickey Rooney: Eheheh, silly.

Gracie: A teddy bear has little fuzzy arms and legs, and tiny shoe-button eyes, and…uh…anyhow, it’s not George.

Mickey Rooney: But Gracie, what’s a teddy bear doing in my bed?

Gracie: Well, I bought it for you. It’ll be your companion, your playmate.

Mickey Rooney: Oh?

Gracie: I bet you never had one before with such a lovely fur coat.

Mickey Rooney: I’ve had a few playmates with fur coats.

Gracie: What happened, did you break them?

Mickey Rooney: No, they broke me.

Gracie: Wha?

Mickey Rooney: Let it go, Mama, just let it go.

Gracie: Now, over here is your clothes closet. Oh, by the way, I bought a new brown suit for you.

Mickey Rooney: New brown suit? Oh, that’s great. Light brown or dark brown?

Gracie: Buster Brown.

Mickey Rooney: Now, wait just a minute, willya please! I can’t wear that.

Gracie: Ooh, Michael, if you wanna stay here, you’ll do as I say. You know, Mama knows best.

Mickey Rooney: Okay, Mama. I’ll wear it on special occasions, like when there’s an eclipse of the sun.

Gracie: Well, that’s a good boy.

[door opening noise]

George [entering]: Gracie, I was over – Mickey.

Mickey Rooney: Mmm. Hello, Daddy.

George: Huhh?

Mickey Rooney: I’m Sonny Boy.

George: Do you mean to say that you let Gracie adopt you?

Mickey Rooney: Sure, George, sure. My studio will never find me here, heheh.

George: Ohh, I get it. Okay, Mickey, I don’t mind.

Gracie: Aww, I’m glad, darling. If we hide him, he’ll have a chance to grow into a fine, decent man, just like his daddy.

George: Yeah! He can step right into my shoes!

Gracie: Aww, that’s a perfect place for him to hide.

Mickey Rooney: Yeah, there’s plenty a’ room there.

Gracie: You know, we must raise him properly, George. Send him to the finest schools. And make sure he’s not a Republican.

George: Not a Republican?

Gracie: I want our boy to be President!

[laughter]

Gracie: I’ve bought some books to improve his little mind. Now, Michael, sit down and I’ll read you a poem.

George: Michael?

Mickey Rooney: That’s my name now.

George: Oh, Michael! Yes, Michael Rooney, yeah.

Gracie: Now I’ll read from Hiawatha, by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

On the shores of Gitche Gumee,
By the shining Big-Sea-Water,
Stood Nokomis –

Mickey Rooney: Please, Mom, if you don’t mind, I’ve got something here in my pocket that I’d rather read –

Gracie: Well, let me have it, I’ll read it to you.

Mickey Rooney: No, give it to me, I–

Gracie: I said I’ll read it, Michael.

Mickey Rooney: Give it back!

Gracie: Now pay attention.

In the pits at Hialeah,
There are only seven entries,
Where the pool and track is muddy…

…why, it’s just like Hiawatha, only prettier!

Mickey Rooney: Mama, Mama, look, Mama –

George: Gracie, you know what you’re reading?

Gracie: Well, I didn’t look at the title.

George: It’s the racing form.

Gracie: Well, it’s the loveliest thing Longfellow ever wrote.

George [dryly]: Yes, he was a fine writer.

Gracie: Well, that’s enough culture for now. It’s time for your nap, Michael.

Mickey Rooney [disbelieving]: My nap? In the middle of the day?

Gracie: Well, yes! Little boys need plenty of rest, don’t they, Daddy?

Mickey Rooney: Ah – Daddy, that’s you.

George: Oh! Oh yes, yes. Eh. Ah. It’s, ah, it’s time the little man went beddy-bye. Aheheh.

Mickey Rooney: You, rat. All right, Mama, I’ll take a nap – if Daddy here takes one too.

Gracie: Aw, how sweet! Hop in bed with him, George.

George: Are you kidding.

Gracie: Now, dear, don’t argue, You’ve gotta set our son a good example.

Mickey Rooney: Come to beddy-bye, Daddy!

Gracie: And Michael, don’t let the railroad train frighten you!

Mickey Rooney: Does one run by the house?

Gracie: No, no, but when George sleeps on his back, you’ll think so! When he blows the whistle, turn him over.

[audience loves it]

George: I’m not taking a nap.

Gracie: You get in that bed or Mama will punish you.

George: I’d like to see you!

Gracie: Oh, not me – I’ll send for my Mama!

George: Move over, Michael.

Gracie: Ah! That’s better. Now kiss Mama before you go to sleep, Michael.

Mickey Rooney: Eh?

Gracie: Kiss Mama.

Mickey Rooney: Okay. [kiss noise]

Gracie: …Hmm. You must be a little older than I thought. [audience laughter] Now kiss Daddy.

George: Are you – that’s it – wait a – [splutters]

Gracie: Now, I want this to be a devoted family. Kiss your daddy.

Mickey Rooney: I’d rather play a love scene with Lassie!

 

[jaunty scene change music]

 

Well, two days have passed since Gracie brought little Mickey to live with little George. And all is not peaceful in the Burns house.

George: Gracie, do you know that Mickey smoked every one of my cigars?

Gracie: Aw, bless his little heart, he kept his word.

George: Eh?

Gracie: He promised me that he’d give up cigarettes.

George: Nice kid.

Gracie: Isn’t he, though? And he really thinks of you as his father! Every time he makes a long-distance call, he says ‘Charge it to my father, George Burns.’

George: Gracie…that boy, one of these –

Mickey Rooney: Hiya, Pop! Hello, Mama!

Gracie: Aww, hello, Michael.

Mickey Rooney: By the way, Pop, here’s the keys to your hot rod!

George: I’ve got a brand-new car, it’s not a hot rod.

Mickey Rooney: It is now! I took the fenders off!

George: Ohhh, no.

Gracie: Aww, Michael, you mustn’t take the fenders off of Daddy’s car, you’ll get your hands all dirty!

[knocking]

George: See who that is, Gracie. I’m taking Michael in the den for a little talk.

Mickey Rooney: Eh?

George: Come on.

Mickey Rooney: Now, waitaminute, George –

[door close, knocking]

Gracie: Come in!

Bill Goodwin: Well, hi, Gracie!

Gracie: Hello, Bill! We haven’t seen you all week. Where’ve you been?

Bill: Oh, out of town. I ran up to San Francisco.

Gracie: Aww, you must be out of breath.

Bill: Uh…yeah, yeah. What’s new, Gracie?

Gracie: Oh, there’s wonderful news. George and I have a son!

Bill: You’re kidding! When did he arrive?

Gracie: Just a few days ago. His name is Michael Burns.

Bill: Well, gee, tell me all about it! How much does he weigh?

Gracie: About a hundred and twenty pounds.

[laughter]

Bill: A hundred and twenty pounds?

Gracie: Well, he is small, but I love him anyhow.

Bill: But Gracie –

Gracie: You know, the only bad thing about him, the little rascal smokes George’s cigars.

Bill: This kid I gotta see!

Gracie: He’s in the den with George! I’ll open the door and you can peek in.

[door opening noise]

Bill: Holy murder, I knew it! George is so old, he had an old baby.

[audience dies]

Gracie: Aww, Bill! Bill, he’s Mickey Rooney. I adopted him. Go in an’ talk to him.

[door closes behind them]

Mickey Rooney [laughing]: Hello, Bill!

Bill: Hi, Mick! Listen, Mick, is it true that Gracie adopted you?

Mickey Rooney: Yeah, that’s right, Billy.

Bill: Well, George, so Gracie finally did what thousands of people have wanted to do.

George: What’s that?

Bill: She slipped you a mickey.

[laughter]

George: Bill, he’s hiding from his studio.

Mickey Rooney: Yeah.

George: And like a sucker, I let him stay here. Now I’ve had enough. C’mon, Bill, help me throw him out.

Bill: Wait a minute, wait a minute! If Mickey wants to be your son, hang on to him! He makes a bundle, he could support you!

Mickey Rooney: You tell ‘im, Bill.

George: I don’t need Mickey to support me.

Bill: Well, I know, but it’s time Gracie had a rest.

[laughter]

George: Mickey is leaving! Out, kid. Out!

Bill: George, I don’t understand you. You’ve always wanted a son to carry on!

George: Not one who carries on like this little twerp.

Bill: He needs work –

George: Throw ‘im out, Bill.

Bill: Now, listen, don’t call Mickey a little twerp.

Mickey Rooney: That’s right, tell ‘im.

Bill: He’s very talented, He could be a big help on your radio program.

Mickey Rooney: Sure, I could be the one who tells the people about Maxwell House coffee. [starts into the ad patter, to Bill’s increasing objection]

Bill: Hold it, you little twerp! You’re trying to steal my job, you little no-talent chisler! I’m throwing you outta here, right now!

George: You tell ‘im, Bill!

Mickey Rooney: Ahh, let me go, ah! He’s hcoking me!

Gracie [entering]: Oh, Michael, would you – aww, how sweet! Uncle Bill is teaching you how to dance.

[laughter]

Mickey Rooney: No, Mama, Uncle Bill’s trying to kill me. Help.

Gracie: Ooh! Bill, stop choking that child!

Bill: Okay.

Gracie: Are you all right, Michael?

Mickey Rooney: Ah, I – I don’t know. I think so. I – think I swallowed my Adam’s apple.

Gracie: Well, never mind, when Adam comes around I’ll buy you another one. Bill Goodwin, you’re a brute, choking a little boy! Next you’ll be wrestling with girls.

Bill: Hey, that reminds me, I got a date! So long!

[door closing noise]

Gracie: Well, come on, Michael darling. You can go out in the back yard and play…[fades out]

George [to himself]: I’ll put an end to this. I’ll phone Mickey’s studio and tell his director to come and get him.

 

[jaunty scene change music]

 

[knocking]

Mickey Rooney: I’ll answer it, Mama! [door opening] Wally! How did you know I was here?

Director: Never mind that now, Mickey, I’ve got good news for you! Now, wait a minute – we’ve decided to give you the part you wanted. You know, the tough guy. Come on, come on, let’s get going.

Mickey Rooney: Well, gee, it won’t be so easy to break the news to…Mama.

Director: ‘Mama’?

Mickey Rooney: Yeah, Mrs. Burns. She thinks she adopted me, heh. What a time I’ve had here.

Director: Well, they must’ve treated you right. You look great.

Mickey Rooney: Ooh, Wally, I feel great! Never eaten such good food in my life!

Director: Really?

Mickey Rooney: Yeah. What a cook her husband is.

[laughter]

Director: Well now, look, Mickey, I got an idea. Living here has put you in great shape. So why don’t you stay here while you learn your new part? I’ll come over every day and work on it with you.

Mickey Rooney: Ehh. Yeah, that’s not bad, Wally.

Director: It’s too bad I can’t live here too.

Mickey Rooney: …Wait a minute. Maybe you can. If Mrs. Burns adopted me, why, why shouldn’t she adopt you?

Director: Ohoho, Mickey, only a woman who’s daffy would do that.

Mickey Rooney: You’re as good as adopted! Come along and follow my lead!

[door opening]

Mickey Rooney [affected kid-voice]: Mama? Oh, Mama, I’d like you to meet Wally. Wally’s my best friend.

Director: Hello, Mrs. Burns.

Gracie: Hello, Wally. Aren’t you a little old to be a playmate of Michael?

Mickey Rooney: Well, Mama, we’re the same age. Wally just looks old because he’s had such a terrible life. He was…raised in…poverty.

Gracie: Is that far from Los Angeles?

Mickey Rooney: …About twenty miles. When he was a tiny baby, he was left on a doorstep, Mama!

Gracie: Ohhh! He’s a stepchild!

Mickey Rooney: Say, Mama, why don’t you adopt him too, eh?

Gracie: Well, would you be happy here, Wally?

Director: Yes, yes!

Gracie: Oh, well, then I’ll do it! My, what a wonderful age we live in. It took my mother almost a year to have a child, and in less than a week I have two of them!

George [next room]: Oh, Gracie!

Gracie: It’s your father, boys. Wait here. [door noise] George, something happened while you were gone.

George [cheerfully]: Yeah! I figured that it would!

Gracie: Well, come in the other room with me.

George: Okay! …Mickey! Who’s this?

Director: Hello, Daddy.

George: Huh?!

Gracie: I adopted another son! …Oh, how cute. Daddy’s going to play a game with you, boys. He’s getting a baseball bat out of the closet!

Mickey Rooney: Waitaminute! We don’t wanna play!

[music, final ad, closing credits]


Filed under: Fandom Tagged: Burns and Allen, transcripts

Feb. 26th, 2017 12:50 pm
[staff profile] denise posting in [site community profile] dw_maintenance
LiveJournal has unblocked and whitelisted our webserver IP addresses, so importing, crossposting, and feed accounts should work properly again! Thanks for the quick fix, LJ.
[syndicated profile] erinptah_feed

Posted by Erin Ptah

Political miscellanea.

News hoaxes are starting to spread faster among liberals, in part because Trump’s reality is so outrageously terrible that nothing sounds fake anymore. Be careful to double-check.

From the night before the election: Anons recall their first impressions of Trump and Clinton.

Warning people “some politically motivated groups are spreading lies about this fact” makes people less susceptible to lies about the fact. (No word yet on how to make people less susceptible to the obvious counter-tactic, i.e. falsified warnings that the facts are politically motivated lies….)

Trump fires one of Ben Carson’s trusted aides for disagreeing with him. Ben Carson is stunned and bewildered that his people are not exempt from Trump’s vindictiveness. Reality check, you moron: NOBODY is exempt from Trump’s vindictiveness. He is not your friend. He is nobody’s friend.

The Onion’s Jimmy Carter: “Did you worry I might be cutting deals in back rooms with the peanut butter lobby? Or that I might be too busy at harvest time to focus on the economy or the Middle East?”


Filed under: News Roundup Tagged: F@#kface von Clownstick, fail_fandomanon, Jimmy Carter, Politics, The Onion
[personal profile] sailorptah
Political miscellanea.

News hoaxes are starting to spread faster among liberals, in part because Trump's reality is so outrageously terrible that nothing sounds fake anymore. Be careful to double-check.

From the night before the election: Anons recall their first impressions of Trump and Clinton.

Warning people "some politically motivated groups are spreading lies about this fact" makes people less susceptible to lies about the fact. (No word yet on how to make people less susceptible to the obvious counter-tactic, i.e. falsified warnings that the facts are politically motivated lies....)

Trump fires one of Ben Carson's trusted aides for disagreeing with him. Ben Carson is stunned and bewildered that his people are not exempt from Trump's vindictiveness. Reality check, you moron: NOBODY is exempt from Trump's vindictiveness. He is not your friend. He is nobody's friend.

The Onion's Jimmy Carter: "Did you worry I might be cutting deals in back rooms with the peanut butter lobby? Or that I might be too busy at harvest time to focus on the economy or the Middle East?"

Fuuuuuuuck I had no idea

Feb. 26th, 2017 03:35 pm
[personal profile] rydra_wong
YouCaring: Help Heather Corinna Recover From Serious Spinal Damage

Heather (who founded and runs Scarleteen) is a heroine and a national fucking treasure. Please signal-boost and let's help look after her.

Feb. 26th, 2017 10:16 am
[personal profile] the_rck
We went out for a late breakfast yesterday. There’s a pancake place on Zeeb Rd that Scott has been wanting to try for quite a while. I don’t remember the name. I got blueberry pancakes but only managed to eat one of the three. Cordelia got a waffle with strawberries and ate half of it. Scott got French toast and a scrambled egg and ate all of it. The three of us shared two orders of bacon. Cordelia didn’t order any because she likes it chewy rather than crisp. Most places don’t cook bacon to her preference, but this place did, so she ate some of mine and some of Scott’s.

I’ve eaten one of my leftover pancakes, and Cordelia has eaten her leftover waffle.

We made an expedition out to the place from which we rent Cordelia’s viola because her bow was on its last legs. The woman at the desk looked at it and told us it was done for. Getting the new bow took about five minutes in the shop.

My cold is still getting worse. I almost couldn’t drag myself out of bed this morning. We’ve got an appointment at 11:30, so I had to, but it was harder than it usually is. I still feel like I could fall asleep rapidly if I let myself. I might end up spending a lot of this afternoon sleeping. I think the only thing that has to be done is the library run, and I’m not actually required for that.

Cordelia’s got an annoying school assignment that involves writing a song (well, lyrics to the pre-existing tune of her choice) about the US presidential election of 1800. The assignment is a little more specific in that the teacher wants a campaign song supporting either Jefferson or Adams. Scott’s working on that with her because my brain is utterly fried.
[personal profile] rydra_wong
I would just like to mention that a hand-cranked rotary whisk is a lovely stimmy thing to use, almost as intrinsically satisfying as a hand-cranked or foot-pedalled sewing machine (which, since I find hand-sewing so soothing, I do not own).

Daily Happiness

Feb. 26th, 2017 12:37 am
[personal profile] torachan
1. We're supposed to get some more rain the next couple days, but it looks like it's supposed to be mostly at night, which would be nice.

2. It's good to be back at work, but I'm definitely looking forward to my day off on Monday already! I'm so glad I don't have a traditional work week. I know some people really prefer to have two days off in a row, but I'd much rather have my days off split up so that there's not a solid five days of work in a row.

3. Look at this adorable kitten! How is he so cute!?

[personal profile] umadoshi
Concrete things done today: I slept until I woke up without an alarm (in practice, I slept badly and not all that late), took an accidental three-hour nap in the afternoon (with weird dreams and some discomfort), watched two episodes of The Good Place (three left), and watched the two episodes it took me to catch up on The 100. Technically those things were all on last night's modest to-do list for the weekend, plus while it's too soon to know if I'll catch what [dreamwidth.org profile] scruloose has, at least today it seems clear that he's got another cold, not flu or something. Now if it'll just be (MUCH) easier on him than the one he had recently. >.> And I still hope to not come down with it, but at least I'm not mildly freaked out by the prospect like I am by the thought of flu.

Additional small accomplishments: we cut both cats' claws (hey, I said "small accomplishments") and I put a good dent in my email inbox.

Things I did not do at all: Work. Write. Read fiction. I would've liked to read, but I suspect I would've just fallen asleep again. It's the failure to get any work done that stings, though; I probably needed the day off, but ugh.

I feel like some of the day is unaccounted for, but really I think that's just the amount of time that vanished into clearing out a bunch of links I'd favorited on Twitter, which is in keeping with the sense that my brain never quite engaged today. :/

We have a rainfall warning for tonight, and sometime in the last hour the rain started in earnest; I can hear it on the window, which is pleasant but not as lovely as hearing it on a rooftop (which our place doesn't allow for).

Hopefully it'll wash a ton of snow away. We live on a loop, and the stretch of road linking the loop to the main street beyond is still over a third full of snow, although the drain and fire hydrant are plowed out (and the path carved to them through the snow encroaching on the street is somehow more imposing to me than the snow itself). So walking to and from the bus stop involves basically walking down the middle of the road and hoping no drivers turn off the main street too fast to look and see if anyone's walking there. -_-
[personal profile] meganbmoore
Guinevere in adaptations! (snowdropsandtigers @ tumblr)

I have a suspicion that this was meant to get me to talk about Angel Coulby’s Guinevere in Merlin, but alas, I’ve never seen a single episode of it. If I ever do, though, that’s who it’ll be for. (In the past I would have said for Guinevere and Morgan, but I…can’t say I’ve been impressed with Katie McGrath’s acting in the few things I’ve seen her in. Unpopular opinion, I know…)

As far as adaptations go, my favorite Guineveres were probably from the movies First Knight (which may not be a particularly good movie or popular as Arthuriana, but Julia Ormond was amazing) and Camelot, and Kim Headlee’s Dawnflight. I thought Phyllis Ann Karr’s depiction of Guinevere in Idylls of the Queen was very interesting, but there we more get a perspective of her through other characters more than she’s actually on page as a character herself.

There’s always been a Madonna/whore complex in approaches to Guenevere in fiction, with Guenevere serving both roles, but the “whore” side of the equation getting an unfair share of the blame for Camelot’s downfall. A lot of Arthuriana fen-hardcore or supercasual-in my general age group having a pretty strong anti-Guenevere stance for some time due to The Mists of Avalon being so anti-Guenevere (because you can’t redeem the reputation and focus on one major female character without also tearing down another?), though that seems to have died down in recent years. While I grew up with Arthuriana adaptations going in and out of my life quite a bit, I didn’t make it to MZB until my late 20s and, well, we’ll say I don’t respect her as a person at all thanks to things that have come up over the years in regards to her and her husband, but do respect how her books brought more focus and depth to female characters in most adaptations in the last 30-odd years, but her stuff wasn’t for me, and leave it at that.

That said, I think most adaptations still don’t really “get” Guinevere, and probably don’t have much interest in doing so, even when they’re sympathetic to her, unless she actually is a central focus.. I’ll give Starz’s Camelot series a nod for trying, even if (through no fault of the actress’s) they didn’t really do a good job with her overall, but the only thing I can truly give that show good credit for is casting Eva Green and Claire Forlani as Morgan and Ygraine, and being the only adaptation I’ve encountered, outside of MZB, to bother to develop and explore Ygraine as a character and her motivations, even if it let me down in the end there to, in regards to her final fate.
[personal profile] loligo
I've tried different brands and different flavors, and it is just. not. right.

I try to tell myself not to compare it directly to pork sausage, and just consider it as its own food. Like turkey bacon -- you'd never confuse it for pork bacon, but it has its own charms, and I enjoy eating it.

But chicken sausage always seems to have this weird spongey texture that I just can't deal with. Chicken and turkey sausage both seem to work best when they're made in small links so that you get the maximum amount of crispy brown outside and the minimum of weird spongey inside.

I've had turkey sausage in restaurants before that was really quite good, but once I discovered that they're often made with beef casings or other beef additives, I had to give up on that. So I only buy it in grocery stores where I can inspect the ingredient list, and the beef-free ones just are not as nice.

In the year before my allergy was diagnosed, I discovered two local pork producers at our farmer's market who make *amazing* sausage, and now I just grumble every time I walk past. At my last allergist check-up in October, my antibodies were down to 1.39, so things are still trending in the right direction -- but at a party this fall, I met another alpha-gal sufferer who is having painful, dramatic reactions at 0.8. So I'm really trying not to get my hopes up for pork (or beef, or cheese, or any fucking thing with milk in it) being back on the menu anytime soon.

This grumbling brought to you by the disappointing chicken andouille in my gumbo tonight...

May 2016

S M T W T F S
1234567
89101112 1314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031    

Style Credit

Page generated Feb. 27th, 2017 07:07 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags

Most Popular Tags

Creative Commons



The contents of this blog and all comments I make are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike License. I hope that name is long enough. I could add some stuff. It could also be a Bring Me A Sandwich License.

If you desire to thank me for the pretend internet magnanimity I show by sharing my important and serious thoughts with you, I accept pretend internet dollars (Bitcoins): 19BqFnAHNpSq8N2A1pafEGSqLv4B6ScstB