Anne Bishop does not CARE what you think

[snarp]

Originally published at I Am Completely Serious. You can comment here or there.

If Anne Bishop wants her book to be about magic cock rings and some hot dudes named Saetan, Lucivar, and Daemon, then by Jove, that’s what the book’ll be about. And if she maybe wants Saetan and Lucivar and Daemon to have pretty wings, and incest, and venom sacs, and zombie priests, and accidentally end up roommates with an assassin-wizard-prostitute named “Surreal”? Then that’s just how it’s going to be.

…

I knew about most of this stuff going in and everything, and I’ve read Kaori Yuki and Mercedes Lackey and that Tanith Lee retelling of Snow White where everyone-including-the-mirror gets raped, but, I mean -

At one point it’s Christmas Time In Hell.

Saetan gives presents to all the dead children in hell and weeps because the children are dead and in hell, and he gets a present for the first time in a couple thousand years and he opens it on Christmas Eve because he can’t wait because a little girl has taught him how to feel joy again and I swear to god the book is absolutely not joking. This is an actual thing that Anne Bishop thought of! And felt should be in her book! The magic cock ring book! Which also has at least three separate castration scenes, possibly more, and one of them is on the fifth page and in another one the hero demonstrates his gallantry and angst by rendering the guy unconscious and stalking off to cover objects in ice! The ice represents his soul.

I had read all these reviews talking about how insane the book is, but none of them even bother to mention the part where it’s Christmas Time In Hell. I think they just forgot about it! Because it doesn’t really stand out that much, I mean, next to the thing with the rats, and the other thing with the hospital and the leg, and the main POV character being a two-thousand-year-old prostitute warlord who’s in love with a seven-year-old and oh John Ringo no.

I have no idea why this book exists and I am going to buy the rest of the series.

(ETA: The title of this book is Daughter of the Blood. I forgot to say that.)

(Edit 7/11/08: Uh, sorry to everyone who commented here. It looks like I accidentally deleted the original version of this entry when I was trying to fix a problem with my tags last week...)

Comments

[rachelmanija]

Maybe I don't want to know, but logistically speaking, how does one rape a mirror?

[snarp]

Prince Charming, who is in love with his own reflection, breaks it and makes a special dress with a hole in it out of the shards. He then puts the dress on Snow White and rapes her repeatedly.

(You know, you actually asked this when I first posted this entry, too? (Except you worded it: "The mirror gets raped? I'm sure I'll be sorry I asked, but how?") I tried to find my own original response so we could both be as consistent as possible, but unfortunately could not...)

[rachelmanija]

EW. And also, HEE!

I guess I am consistent! And also, I must have successfully bleached my brain after the first time.

[badgerbag]

what the!!!! I must have this book.

[snarp]

Join us! It will challenge your mind! In the manner in which eating ice cream and salami every meal for two days will challenge your digestion.

[lb_lee]

My god. It sounds like Laurell K. Hamilton and Tanith Lee had a Lovecraftian baby.