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2015-11-14 06:02 pm

Matching the perfume I'm wearing to the incense I'm burning.

Shoyeido Hoyei-koh + Al-Rehab Silver (the really good Silver Mountain Water knock-off) = ideal.

I wasn't initially sure about either one individually, but I combined them the other day, and now I think they're both great. Very good inexpensive Odor Experience.
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2015-10-16 09:30 pm

I got a $1 Flowerbomb knock-off

perhaps-inevitably called "Blossom Blast."

I do not know what Flowerbomb smells like, but I really like this stuff. It's basically vanilla and tea, and then the perfumer kept adding floral/gourmand stuff until it started smelling bad? And then hit "undo" exactly once. I could spray it to ward off muggers because it would harm the muggers' self-esteem to smell like this. It is also pink.
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2015-09-16 11:59 pm

I'm changing Silver Mountain Water's name

to Silver Metal Lover

because I'm going to end up calling it that every goddamn time anyway it's infuriating

damn you Tanith Lee and Creed
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2015-09-11 10:12 pm

$5 Silver Mountain Water Knock-Off (Silver by Al-Rehab)

This is the strongest perfume oil I have ever worn. I touched the roller lightly to my wrist and am now permanently a teapot.
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2015-09-11 04:35 pm

$1 Knock-Off Tommy Cologne

Pleasant cucumber/melon-y "aquatic"/"clean"/"cold" scent, with some light floral stuff underneath. Basically, smells like a men's clothing store at the mall, or one of those "cooling" facial toners.*

I'm not sure whether this is what the actual stuff smells like or not, but it's basically what I'd expect from an okay scent marketed to young guys.

(* Never, ever spend more than like like $2 on that, by the way. It feels nice if it's hot, but it has no real benefits skin-wise, is actually irritating to most people with acne, and costs like $0.10 to make. You could probably figure out how to manufacture it by the gallon if you look at the ingredients label and then spend a while browsing The Perfumer's Apprentice.)
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2015-09-11 01:34 pm

(no subject)

Because I am wasting money lately, I also ordered two well-reviewed $5 knock-offs from here: I got the Silver Mountain Water one (Silver) and the Flower by Kenzo one (Red Rose), since I've wanted to try those.

They apparently got shipped to Mom and Dad's house, and Dad called today to say the he has "your weird box. Were you expecting a weird box, because one's here? It came in the mail. It's here, I've got it. It's a weird box. Should I open it, honey?"

"It's perfume, so I mean, not unless you want to smell fancy -"

"I can't hear you, honey, you're breaking up [garble]."

I have concerns.
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2015-09-11 01:09 pm

$1 Knock-Off Eternity Review

Pleasant light jasmine and/or ylang ylang-ish scent that disappears within five minutes.
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2015-09-10 10:30 pm

$1 Knock-Off CK Obsession for Men

Apparently I've had Obsession confused with something else forever, so I don't know if this smells like it. The actual stuff is supposed to be cinnamon-y, which isn't really the case with this. It's both pleasant and familiar, though: vanilla/floral/sandalwood-musk-based incense.

It makes me think of lawyers, unfortunately. One of the guys at at the firm wears loads of something very close to it.
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2015-09-10 05:37 pm

Failed Tumblr crosspost from late last night:

I put the fake Angel on a paper towel but it smelled too rubbing alcohol-y initially so I put it on the table. Bu sniffed it just now and then ran out of the room in a panic.

...I just heard him knock the desktop out of sleep mode.

#hes blogging
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2015-09-10 03:35 pm

The $1 knock-off Angel

definitely smells like Angel, but, I guess, with a piece missing? And a weird off-ish "cloudy" overtone.

...actually, what it smells like to me is perfume with "vanilla-y" notes that's been sitting in a cabinet for years. This $1 knock-off Angel might be old. How could the Dollar Tree betray me this way.
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2015-09-09 09:06 pm

$1 perfume research.

Having googled around: the Jordache/Jean-Philippe-brand Dollar Tree perfumes are manufactured by Inter Parfums, who are behind manufacturing for a lot of Srs-Bzns-type perfume companies. (They don't appear to me to be cannibalizing any of their clients' sales.)

So, these particular dupes would have been formulated by industry professionals who certainly know the actual formulas for the originals! As such, assuming that a given designer fragrance can be produced using components that don't bring the price above $0.25/oz or so - I don't think this is unusual? - the Dollar Tree knock-off is probably chemically-identical to "the real thing."

This is not a new thought, about either Products in general or perfume in specific! I just like finding new examples of it.
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2015-09-09 07:18 pm

Serious Perfume Review: $1 Chanel No. 5 knockoff from Dollar Tree

Since the cat was trying to eat it and he knows best, I just tried on the fake C5. It smells about right, to my fuzzy recollection? I don’t own any of the real stuff to compare it to, and I’ve only tried it on myself once, but the scent is properly initializing the expected traumatic scent-memories of being induced to hug and/or make conversation with strangers at family and political events.

(I don’t like C5. Or White Diamonds. They should back off and stop asking me how my horse princess book is. I am trying to read my horse princess book.)

So, an attempt was made! The Dollar Tree’s perfume supplier is not just dumping random stuff into these bottles. And they didn’t overdo the aldehydic elements to the point of harshness, like a dupe I tried a few years back.

It’s already wearing off, though. If I wanted a fake C5 with staying power (I don’t), I’d probably order some oil from one of those Etsy or eBay shops.
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2015-09-09 06:00 pm

(no subject)



Today I spent $5 on knockoff perfume at Dollar Tree, which I regard as a good decision. Please place your bets as to whether any of these smell 1) good 2) like the originals.

Bu was interested only in the fake Chanel No. 5.
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2015-09-08 10:33 pm

(no subject)





I bought this perfume for the bottle because it makes a perfect Freya idol for my altar. The juice in the bottle is sweeter than any candy made with mere sugar. If I were a star the business execs in charge of my perfume line would be furious with me because I wouldn't slap my name on any old chemical smelling prosaic product to maximize profit. But then perfume is special to me. I don't think Nicki Minaj upset the business execs.

- a review of Nicki Minaj’s Pink Friday perfume on Fragrantica, by user winikrose
This review belongs in MoMA, unexplained, as the little caption plate under the display with the bottle. All around the pedestal: offerings.
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2015-09-06 09:50 pm

Nicki Minaj is straight-up trolling the celebrity perfume industry.

The reviews are hilarious:

"THEY ALL SMELL THE SAME"

"WHY ARE THE BOTTLES ALL SEVERE-LOOKING GRAVEN IDOLS OF HER"

"SHE HAS RELEASED SEVEN PERFUMES IN THREE YEARS"

"I HAD TO TURN THE BOTTLES TO FACE THE WALL I FELT LIKE THEY WERE LOOKING AT ME"

"I THINK THIS ONE IS JUST THE LAST ONE AGAIN WITH A DIFFERENT WIG ON, CAN SHE EVEN DO THAT"

"THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE EYES

HOW DO THEY SEEM SO JUDGMENTAL"