snarp: small cute androgynous android crossing arms and looking very serious (Default)
Snarp ([personal profile] snarp) wrote2015-02-10 11:02 pm

Shale and Zevran have the best DAO conversations.

Shale: So here is a question for the painted elf…
Zevran: Painted elf? Oh, that’s me! I do like that.
Shale: Am I to understand correctly that the painted elf is a “crow”?
Zevran: Not literally, but… yes. I am a Crow.
Shale: As in a bird.
Zevran: Is there another sort?
Shale: So the painted elf assaults helpless statuary with its feces?
Zevran: If given sufficient cause, why not?
Shale: That is outrageous! The painted elf will stay away from me. Or else.
Zevran: (Sighs) I get a lot of that.

Shale: I have never heard of such a thing called a Qunari.
Sten: Then you have not been listening. We did not row to shore last year, we have been about for centuries.
Shale: I have listened. I have done little else, in fact, and yet I do not remember anyone mentioning such a Qunari in all my years in the village.
Sten: Relying on humans as a source of education is a fool’s errand.
Shale: They are rather ignorant, aren’t they? And feeble. At the best of times.
Sten: We have creatures on Par Vollen that are similar. The humans call them “monkeys”. They are dull, cowardly vermin. They cry out shrilly when threatened and throw their own feces.
Shale: That is an excellent comparison. I wonder if they are related?
Sten: Possibly.

Alistair: So tell me something… do you feel pain? When you get hit in combat?
Shale: This is when it squeals loudly and spurts blood about? This is when it feels pain?
Alistair: Uh… maybe? I’ve seen you take some bad hits. Don’t you feel anything?
Shale: Anger. Rage, even. Perhaps a little distress. Is this pain?
Alistair: I’m not sure. I don’t think I’d call it distress, exactly. It’s more… (screaming)
Shale: For me, it is more… (pained growl)
Alistair: That sounds more like a bowel movement. I mean that sharp, stabbing… (screams) Like that?
Shale: No. Nothing like that.
Alistair: No? Huh. Good to know.

Zevran: So, err….is it Lord Loghain?
Loghain: I am no longer a teyrn, nor even a knight. Address me without a title, as you would any other Grey Warden.
Zevran: So just Loghain, then?
Loghain: Correct. What’s on your mind?
Zevran: You know who I am, yes? I was one of the Crows you hired to kill the Grey Wardens.
Loghain: I thought you looked familiar.
Zevran: Well, I just wanted to report that I failed my mission, Loghain.
Loghain: You don’t say.
Zevran: I’m terribly broken up over it.
Loghain: Hmm. Well thank you kindly for informing me.

Zevran: Hello my stocky little friend!
Oghren: Huh. You got small breasts for a gal.
Zevran: Ah. This is where we begin the typical dwarven/elven rivalry, is it?
Oghren: Nahhh.

Shale: It could have won its battle. It knows this, surely?
Loghain: I am to be subjected to the golem’s ruminations, now? Charming.
Shale: It said that it did what it had to do in order to protect its nation, but that is not true, is it?
Loghain: I have no idea what you’re talking about, golem.
Shale: It could have slain the woman, Anora. Then it would have been made king long before any challenge could have been made.
Loghain: You are speaking of my daughter, if you are not aware.
Shale: I am aware. It said, however, that it would do anything that it had to. But this was not true.
Loghain: I was unwilling to kill my own daughter. Yes, that is true. You think me weak for it?
Shale: I am uncertain. Had it known then what it knows now, would its decision have been different?
Loghain: (Sigh) No. No, I would not have killed her. Even had I known.
Shale: Then… I am content.

Post a comment in response:

This account has disabled anonymous posting.
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.
More info about formatting

If you are unable to use this captcha for any reason, please contact us by email at support@dreamwidth.org