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Fine dwarven crafts, direct from Boatmurdered! - Part 3
ALISTAIR: so
ALISTAIR: are we going to support your brother or the other one
DORFWARDEN: ugh
ALISTAIR: you must have thought about this
DORFWARDEN: dude you suck fuck off
SHALE: I, too, am very excited to hear its clear-minded and impartial opinion of this situation.
DORFWARDEN: shale
DORFWARDEN: shale
DORFWARDEN: what do you call it when a rock is full of shit
SHALE: Coprolite, yes? Potentially bituminous coal or lignite, though I assume it’s rare for it to form in precisely that manner.
DORFWARDEN: right exactly but you also though
ALISTAIR: as loath as i am to interrupt this high-minded conversation could you please tell me what we’re doing here
DORFWARDEN: dude you’ve been standing right fucking behind me every awful fucking conversation i’ve had
DORFWARDEN: you tell me
ALISTAIR: i don’t know i don’t know anything about dwarves
DORFWARDEN: yeah weirdly i didn’t know anything about humans until like a few fucking months ago
DORFWARDEN: yet somehow man
DORFWARDEN: SOMEHOW
ALISTAIR: are you going to finish that sentence
DORFWARDEN: what sentence
ALISTAIR: the one you started with “somehow”
DORFWARDEN: fuck you
DORFWARDEN: no
DORFWARDEN: hey alistair are you fucking KING yet
ALISTAIR: no???
LELIANA: Dear…
ALISTAIR: what why are you mad at me
DORFWARDEN: no i’m not mad i was just fucking CHECKING
DORFWARDEN: checking whether you are FUCKING KING YET
LELIANA: This isn’t helping, darling.
ALISTAIR: no why is she mad at me??????
LELIANA: Alistair, maybe you should not press this subject further. This is just a suggestion.
ALISTAIR: the subject of what decision we are going to make to get out of here and defeat the darkspawn??? it’s an important subject
LELIANA: Alistair, please think -
SHALE: Impossible. Yet fear not, second Warden, for I shall be the one to decide with whose lot we shall throw in in this terribly fraught situation. I came here prepared, as its personal golem must be, to take responsibility where it is too cowardly and sentimental to do so.
LELIANA: Shale!
DORFWARDEN: good good who we gonna FUCKING side with shale
SHALE: Coprolite.
DORFWARDEN: like we find a golem made of coprolite
SHALE: No.
ALISTAIR: are we going to support your brother or the other one
DORFWARDEN: ugh
ALISTAIR: you must have thought about this
DORFWARDEN: dude you suck fuck off
SHALE: I, too, am very excited to hear its clear-minded and impartial opinion of this situation.
DORFWARDEN: shale
DORFWARDEN: shale
DORFWARDEN: what do you call it when a rock is full of shit
SHALE: Coprolite, yes? Potentially bituminous coal or lignite, though I assume it’s rare for it to form in precisely that manner.
DORFWARDEN: right exactly but you also though
ALISTAIR: as loath as i am to interrupt this high-minded conversation could you please tell me what we’re doing here
DORFWARDEN: dude you’ve been standing right fucking behind me every awful fucking conversation i’ve had
DORFWARDEN: you tell me
ALISTAIR: i don’t know i don’t know anything about dwarves
DORFWARDEN: yeah weirdly i didn’t know anything about humans until like a few fucking months ago
DORFWARDEN: yet somehow man
DORFWARDEN: SOMEHOW
ALISTAIR: are you going to finish that sentence
DORFWARDEN: what sentence
ALISTAIR: the one you started with “somehow”
DORFWARDEN: fuck you
DORFWARDEN: no
DORFWARDEN: hey alistair are you fucking KING yet
ALISTAIR: no???
LELIANA: Dear…
ALISTAIR: what why are you mad at me
DORFWARDEN: no i’m not mad i was just fucking CHECKING
DORFWARDEN: checking whether you are FUCKING KING YET
LELIANA: This isn’t helping, darling.
ALISTAIR: no why is she mad at me??????
LELIANA: Alistair, maybe you should not press this subject further. This is just a suggestion.
ALISTAIR: the subject of what decision we are going to make to get out of here and defeat the darkspawn??? it’s an important subject
LELIANA: Alistair, please think -
SHALE: Impossible. Yet fear not, second Warden, for I shall be the one to decide with whose lot we shall throw in in this terribly fraught situation. I came here prepared, as its personal golem must be, to take responsibility where it is too cowardly and sentimental to do so.
LELIANA: Shale!
DORFWARDEN: good good who we gonna FUCKING side with shale
SHALE: Coprolite.
DORFWARDEN: like we find a golem made of coprolite
SHALE: No.