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Fine dwarven crafts, direct from Boatmurdered! - Part 2 of a million
LELIANA: Beloved, don’t you have another shield?
DORFWARDEN: yeah a few
DORFWARDEN: why
LELIANA: I’d feel better if you used your nice new silverite one, is all. It’s. Heavier! I worry about your safety.
DORFWARDEN: why
DORFWARDEN: you think we’re gonna be fighting shit in my awesome enlightened home city that’s the best city in the whole FUCKING world
ALISTAIR: i think that actually yes
DORFWARDEN: man shut up
LELIANA: Isn’t that the shield with the Aeducan clan arms on it?
DORFWARDEN: no
SHALE: Yes.
DORFWARDEN: maybe??? who cares
LELIANA: A lot of dwarves, I think! What are you going to say when they ask you about it?
DORFWARDEN: god
DORFWARDEN: what the fuck do you think i’m going to say
DORFWARDEN: “my dad sent me this ancient family heirloom as he lay on his deathbed cuz he belatedly recognized my brother’s treachery and TOTALLY wished he’d made me his heir when he had the chance”
DORFWARDEN: “thus throwing a huge explosive fucked-up kink into this whole shitty war of succession we’re supposed to be delicately negotiating as neutral parties”
DORFWARDEN: “i’m the heir it’s me”
DORFWARDEN: “suck it bhetch”
SHALE: “Bhetch?”
DORFWARDEN: yeah i combined bhelen’s name with bitch there
SHALE: I understood what it did, yes. It wasn’t a very good thing.
ALISTAIR: isn’t that a slur on the poor dog
DORFWARDEN: no he’s a boy dog
LELIANA: I think we’ve established that you know that this is a bad idea, right?
DORFWARDEN: i have a lot of bad ideas
DORFWARDEN: like
DORFWARDEN: this morning
DORFWARDEN: i pretended like i was gonna feed zevran’s boot to the dog cause he was being a dickhead
DORFWARDEN: and now there’s something sharp poking my neck and i’m kind of nauseous so i think he put poison on a pin or some shit
LELIANA: Please hold still and let me check your collar.
DORFWARDEN: no!
LELIANA: Please do not carry your clan shield into the city with you.
DORFWARDEN: fuck this i was not gonna i was gonna be responsible!
DORFWARDEN: i was just gonna quietly ask bodahn to hang onto it tonight without needing to be asked like a responsible adult who isn’t magma-level-hotness mad at literally every single fucking person we’re gonna be talking to over the next couple weeks
LELIANA: Hold still and stop swinging your arms so I can check your collar!
ALISTAIR: all right but if that is settled
ALISTAIR: the thing with the shield of problems if that SPECIFIC thing is settled
ALISTAIR: is it a good idea for shale to come
DORFWARDEN: it’s a GREAT idea
ALISTAIR: no honestly are there bad diplomatic ramifications to the ancient golem just walking in there and being extremely rude to people as she’s certainly going to be
ALISTAIR: or would that be a GOOD thing somehow???
ALISTAIR: i don’t know anything about dwarves
ALISTAIR: or anything
SHALE: It is a very good idea. I excel at diplomacy of certain specific varieties.
DORFWARDEN: and i can sit on top of you when we see bhelen right
DORFWARDEN: all glare down at him from high up
DORFWARDEN: “thought you’d seen the last of me bhetch”
SHALE: No.
LELIANA: No.
ALISTAIR: i think it has potential though
DORFWARDEN: i knew you would back me up on this man thanks
DORFWARDEN: yeah a few
DORFWARDEN: why
LELIANA: I’d feel better if you used your nice new silverite one, is all. It’s. Heavier! I worry about your safety.
DORFWARDEN: why
DORFWARDEN: you think we’re gonna be fighting shit in my awesome enlightened home city that’s the best city in the whole FUCKING world
ALISTAIR: i think that actually yes
DORFWARDEN: man shut up
LELIANA: Isn’t that the shield with the Aeducan clan arms on it?
DORFWARDEN: no
SHALE: Yes.
DORFWARDEN: maybe??? who cares
LELIANA: A lot of dwarves, I think! What are you going to say when they ask you about it?
DORFWARDEN: god
DORFWARDEN: what the fuck do you think i’m going to say
DORFWARDEN: “my dad sent me this ancient family heirloom as he lay on his deathbed cuz he belatedly recognized my brother’s treachery and TOTALLY wished he’d made me his heir when he had the chance”
DORFWARDEN: “thus throwing a huge explosive fucked-up kink into this whole shitty war of succession we’re supposed to be delicately negotiating as neutral parties”
DORFWARDEN: “i’m the heir it’s me”
DORFWARDEN: “suck it bhetch”
SHALE: “Bhetch?”
DORFWARDEN: yeah i combined bhelen’s name with bitch there
SHALE: I understood what it did, yes. It wasn’t a very good thing.
ALISTAIR: isn’t that a slur on the poor dog
DORFWARDEN: no he’s a boy dog
LELIANA: I think we’ve established that you know that this is a bad idea, right?
DORFWARDEN: i have a lot of bad ideas
DORFWARDEN: like
DORFWARDEN: this morning
DORFWARDEN: i pretended like i was gonna feed zevran’s boot to the dog cause he was being a dickhead
DORFWARDEN: and now there’s something sharp poking my neck and i’m kind of nauseous so i think he put poison on a pin or some shit
LELIANA: Please hold still and let me check your collar.
DORFWARDEN: no!
LELIANA: Please do not carry your clan shield into the city with you.
DORFWARDEN: fuck this i was not gonna i was gonna be responsible!
DORFWARDEN: i was just gonna quietly ask bodahn to hang onto it tonight without needing to be asked like a responsible adult who isn’t magma-level-hotness mad at literally every single fucking person we’re gonna be talking to over the next couple weeks
LELIANA: Hold still and stop swinging your arms so I can check your collar!
ALISTAIR: all right but if that is settled
ALISTAIR: the thing with the shield of problems if that SPECIFIC thing is settled
ALISTAIR: is it a good idea for shale to come
DORFWARDEN: it’s a GREAT idea
ALISTAIR: no honestly are there bad diplomatic ramifications to the ancient golem just walking in there and being extremely rude to people as she’s certainly going to be
ALISTAIR: or would that be a GOOD thing somehow???
ALISTAIR: i don’t know anything about dwarves
ALISTAIR: or anything
SHALE: It is a very good idea. I excel at diplomacy of certain specific varieties.
DORFWARDEN: and i can sit on top of you when we see bhelen right
DORFWARDEN: all glare down at him from high up
DORFWARDEN: “thought you’d seen the last of me bhetch”
SHALE: No.
LELIANA: No.
ALISTAIR: i think it has potential though
DORFWARDEN: i knew you would back me up on this man thanks