KoL

[snarp]

This part of the book is written in language so Ancient, so Forbidden, so Unspeakable, and so Evil that you can't make heads or tails of it.

Luckily, you've got your trusty English to Ancient Forbidden Unspeakable Evil dictionary, and you're able to translate a little bit at a time.

You learn how to manipulate pure evil, and adapt it to your own particular method of spellcasting. Neat!

You gain a skill: Fearful Fettucini

You put the dictionary back on the shelf, for the next guy.

-

Using the skills taught to you by the Asian Vandalism Master of 「トイレットペーパー」 Fu, Steve, you expertly dress 's with the flowing white sheets of your ancestors. This reminds you of a haiku:

Burning cherry tree
Ev'ry blossom is aflame
Uh, here come the cops.

-KoL