I am asking this question seriously. I don't know the answer.

[snarp]

Do people ever use little plastic massager things for their stated purpose? Does it actually help a stiff neck to hold a vibrator to it?

I've always just assumed that phrases like "relaxes tense muscles" were just code - WalMart requiring that the packaging refer to the vibrator's true use euphemistically. But sometimes people review them online talking about using them for a stiff neck. And while these people might all be speaking in code, the International Feminist Conspiracy honestly isn't usually quite that together. (And we really do need to raise the bar a little, guys.)

I was pretty much raised by the internet, by the way.

Comments

[torachan]

I doubt a small cordless one would really do much good. The larger corded ones are great, though. I have had one for years and use it mainly for my back and shoulders, but sometimes neck as well. I first tried one at some store at the mall, and it was a pricey one so I was like, oh man, I'll never buy one, but it's so awesome, and I would go use it every time I went to the mall (this was back in the day when I actually went to the mall, so a very long time ago :p). Then I saw them start coming out with cheaper ones, and I think the one I got was somewhere in the $30-50 range. Now there's a million of them, it seems. We sell several at work and have them out on display for customers to try and all the cashiers and stockers go use them during the day, too. XD This is one of the ones we sell, and it works great.

[yoiyami]

I do actually use one for my neck and find it helpful! But i do think they are more commonly used for their alternative purpose.

[kaigou]

That one actually looks like it could be used and/or is intended to be used for its stated purpose. Not at all like the ones in my grandmother's catalogs, where it's still burned into my retinas the image of a woman holding a very, well, phallic massager against her face. Because yes! "Shaped like a cucumber" is clearly the best shape for massaging your cheekbones.

I wasn't entirely raised by my grandmother's stack of catalogs, but I sure was educated by 'em.

[snarp]

I actually linked to that one because I'd seen a near relative thereof (same company) sold explicitly as a sex toy.

[untonuggan]

OK, I swear I am not making this up. My friend's mom uses the battery powered "personal massagers" for the "fun" purpose...and when she has sinus headaches. On her face. On her sinuses. They are small and I guess she holds them up to her sinuses and it helps? I just hope she cleans them well is all, but whatever. I have yet to try this although now that I think about it I really should give it a shot next time my allergies act up. (I think she also uses a Hitachi for both the stated purpose and for the "fun" purpose, so there you go.)

[snarp]

I had no idea that this was a thing.

[untonuggan]

I don't know if it is a thing outside of their household. They are very hippie-type people and maybe one day they thought, "Hmm, face massage sounds good?" I don't know, I have never asked about the evolution of it.

[jinian]

Not little ones, no.

[lovepeaceohana]

I've got a Hitachi Magic Wand that gets used primarily these days as a back and neck massager, so, yes.

[azurelunatic]

Sometimes! Once upon a time not all that long ago, I had horrible foot cramps caused by stupid amounts of overexertion, and I was thinking wistfully about these battery powered massaging slippers that one of my old roommates used to have, and I was thinking about attempting to rig up something, when I realized that hello, I have an actual Hitachi plugin massager which I could actually use for its real intended use. I felt so perverse doing that.

Tonight on Comment Thread Derail: Horrors of the Savage Lovecast

[vass]

It might be safer to use them as a massager.

Because in lots of places it's not legal to sell them for sexual use, and they're printed with 'novelty item' or 'for entertainment only' or whatever, they don't have to meet any safety standards. There are PVC ones that are as much as 60% phthalates. By contrast, children's toys have to be .1% phthalate or less.

There was this sex toy manufacturer talking about it on the Savage Love podcast, and how a lot of people who use dildos get this burning sensation, and they think they must be allergic or something. Turns out it's not an allergy. D: Metal, glass, silicone, stone, they're all okay, but PVC isn't.

Re: Tonight on Comment Thread Derail: Horrors of the Savage Lovecast

[snarp]

Yeah, I'd read that in several places. I guess the moral is tha you can buy sex toys at WalMart, but you probably shouldn't do it as an impulse buy? Which is a problem, because I suspect that a great many vibrator purchases are done on impulses.

Maybe the moral is actually that the United States regulatory environment is, in fact, problematic in a manner entirely different from that which Mr. Romney asserts.