I am a retired DADA professor, AMA.

They cannot keep either of my old teaching positions filled for more than a few months at a time. One of my successors at the juku once found my email address and sent me a series of increasingly infuriated emails about the impossibility of the job, leading up to a sort of liveblog of his boarding of a train out of town.

(The circumstances which led to me writing this post are somewhat sadder and less funny.)

#i tried to write dada but wrote dota #i'm tired #i've never even played that game

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I bet if I were an incandescent cloud of gas floating in space I wouldn’t get these fucking headaches.

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I feel so bad for Stray Tuxedo Cat and Stray Ginger Calico. They are out there hiding behind cars trying to avoid the snow and wind, which is presently blowing the snow nearly horizontally.

Tux just pissed on my tire to thank it for shielding him. I forgive you, Tux.

I have literally been sitting here looking up doghouse prices for them. I have blankies they could use! In their houses.

(I don’t need to get the stray cats doghouses, there are old trash cans around I can clean out if I decide to do this.)

Depression News

Four months after final bulb in living room light fixture dies, dumbass finally tackles monumental task of getting step-stool out of one closet, bulbs out of other different closet.

# it's cool the living room has lamps this was fine #(no it was stupid)

Fennel licorice tea is really good for lactose-intolerance-related stomach problems.

It does a weird tingly thing to the back of your throat, though; it feels like having a dandelion puff back there.

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Mom: - just one of those pro se litigants who are like “you and every other lawyer in Kentucky is conspiring to make me lose my small claims case!” And I’m like, "buddy. I don’t know who you are, you’re in some little town in western Kentucky I have literally never even heard of. You are not on my list.”

me: “So you do have a list! I knew it!”

Mom: Yes, my list of people against whom I am conspiring along with the entirety of the Kentucky bar. We all get along so well.

me: “I will have justice! I’m off to file a FOIA request for your list!”

Mom: No, no, we’re private individuals doing this conspiracy, he can’t do a FOIA.