Dad coaches basketball at the high school where I used to teach.

[snarp]

my former student: Is Mr. Pin there?

me: Nope, sorry. He's out of town until Monday.

my former student: But we've got a basketball game tomorrow morning! He's been telling us we've got this game for ages!

me: Um. Well, I'm sorry, but he didn't leave me any kind of message about that, and he's definitely not going to be back until Monday. Unless the principal or any of the teachers -

my former student: Well.

*he hangs up, then calls back a minute later*

my former student: How about you take us to the game! You can be coach!

me: Yeah, no. I cannot do that. I can't even really drive safely right now.

my former student: Well. Guess we'll just - go to Sunday school, then!

me: Good idea!

my former student: Guys, no game, we're all going to Sunday school tomorrow!

other kids: *chorus of complaints and sarcastic cheers*

me: Okay, enjoy yourselves.

my former student: We will!