Self-medicating like a non-compliant patient.

[snarp]

Because the endocrinologist said "the problem's with your brain, get an appointment with someone who works on those," and the people who work on those won't call me back.

I've got some Effexor left over from when I was using it. Though the side effects were really bad, I was actually able to get work done while I was on it. The point at which I switched off it was very close to the point at which I stopped being able to update RoYAN regularly.

So I'm going to try going on a half-dose for a while. Hopefully I'll have found a psychiatrist and/or neurologist willing to pick up their phone by the time I run out.

The endocrinologist did suggest that, in my capacity as a vegetarian-when-convenient, I might not be getting enough vitamin B12. That seems unlikely to me, given that I've been taking multivitamins the whole time, and anyway went back to eating fish a while ago. But I'm adding some extra to my pointless supplement regimen anyway.

I'm aiming for emergency-situations-only kratom use, no more than four times per month. From sifting through a lot of mostly-mendacious forum and Reddit posts, I've come to the conclusion that it can produce post-acute withdrawal syndrome, and I obviously don't want that on top of everything else. I don't think I've formed the sort of dependency that could lead to it - my state since dumping it is not distinguishable from my ordinary unmedicated state - but it's not something I want to screw around with.

Also, I'm already too angry all the time, and I've noticed I get particularly short-tempered when it's wearing off. I don't want to punch somebody, even if they are running for public office on a platform of Build Rapture At The Bottom Of Lake Cumberland, or whatever it is that's going on in this goddamn state.

Comments

[chomiji]

*hugs*

You do what you gotta do. And your endocrinologist sounds like a sack of shit.

[snarp]

No, she's probably right. She's given me a pretty comprehensive (from what I can tell) battery of tests at intervals over the past year, and my thyroid levels actually went back down into the normal range during that period. Since that was the only thing that came up problematic, I think it's appropriate to assume that whatever's going on is outside her area of expertise.

And I did have a tumor poking into my frontal lobe for years, and there are plenty of other brain problems in my family. Assuming that the problem's inside my skull is reasonable.