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I'm too stupid to watch cartoons, I have to read instead.
Every time I think I'm feeling better, I try to watch something on TV - or, okay, usually on Crunchyroll, whatever. And every time, I cannot fucking make it more than eight or nine minutes without needing to stop. My eyes won't focus, I can't follow the dialog, I get anxious, and sometimes my head starts hurting.
I've got some stuff I want to watch on YouTube bookmarked, and I keep looking at the YouTube icon, hesitating, and going, "no, I don't feel up to this right now."
The hallucinations and wordsalad interjections into my train of thought are gone now, but those honestly were not as big a problem. Those were things that I could recognize as intrusions and sort of wait out. The inability to adequately process certain common types of visual and auditory stimuli is much more frustrating.
Can't I negotiate a fucking trade? Brain, I'll give you thirty minutes of incoherent prattle a day in exchange for the ability to watch thirty minutes of television without needing multiple breaks. Let's get this thing done.
I've got some stuff I want to watch on YouTube bookmarked, and I keep looking at the YouTube icon, hesitating, and going, "no, I don't feel up to this right now."
The hallucinations and wordsalad interjections into my train of thought are gone now, but those honestly were not as big a problem. Those were things that I could recognize as intrusions and sort of wait out. The inability to adequately process certain common types of visual and auditory stimuli is much more frustrating.
Can't I negotiate a fucking trade? Brain, I'll give you thirty minutes of incoherent prattle a day in exchange for the ability to watch thirty minutes of television without needing multiple breaks. Let's get this thing done.
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