snarp | Reviews of Young Adult Novels, Chapter 9 (Homestuck Fanfic)

Reviews Of Young Adult Novels, Mainly Those Prominently Featuring Vampires, And Containing At Least One Love Triangle, Chapter 9:

"Can't even find any record of them at all. Usually Crockercorp's databases are pretty good."

Rose said disinterestedly, peering at her phone, "I'm afraid I'm unsure as to their registration status. My personal assistant saw to the purchase. He's presently out of town, but I may be able to get him on the phone, if necessary."

She'd recruited Dad to play the part of her personal assistant, having evaluated her acquaintanceship for highest aloofiness attribute and ability to speak in complete sentences.

"About how much you spend on them?"

Rose thought one of her teeth broke, but maybe in this mental state she could regrow them. In this mental state, she could do a lot of things.

"I don't recall. He could tell you. The female was the more expensive one."

"Well, she got herself real messed up."

A milky film formed briefly over Rose's eyes, and within her mind there existed briefly a universe, bound within a bubble, and built entirely of tumescent outgrowths distorting the flexible skull of a being who felt only hate. "Fnlth gohluyng j'rg."

"- what?"