snarp | Curse you, Food City. (Reply)

I have bought a bag of frozen broccoli from my local Food City! This was such a wise purchase on my part. I am psyched about opening this opaque plastic bag, which is obviously full of whole pieces of broccoli as depicted on the front, and steaming its contents as part of a balanced meal high in dietary fiber and vitamins K and C.

Yeah, sure, I can't actually see into the bag, but I trust Food City entirely in the field of vegetable matter. I mean, they carry like seventy-six varieties of soda and one kind of soymilk that's not sugary, they have a whole aisle devoted to snack cakes iced with the tears of Sylvester Graham, and their bread has been known to last upwards of three months without growing mold. I can immediately recall only one occasion upon which the whole place has smelled of sewage.

Bottom line, Food City is a trustworthy establishment, and there is going to be a crapton of whole broccoli in this friggin bag, which totally has not had anything at all weird and offputting done to it, like say decapitation. I am going to steam so much undecapitated broccoli.