The scientists have solved tea.

But only black tea, with sugar and milk in it. Barbarian tea, basically. I frankly don't see why science bothers to lower itself to the examination of such a base subject.

Proper tea, of course, is steeped for about eighty seconds in water that, after boiling, was poured briefly into a second vessel before being returned to the one in which the tea is to be brewed. Proper tea calls the police like a good citizen if it sees a sugar packet.

4chan makes awesome new linguistic discovery.

It is possible to write a bash shell script that is a joke in and of itself.