Fuck my ovaries.

This is complete bullshit. They’re not allowed to both hurt at the same fucking time. They should coordinate, like how your nostrils do when you have a cold.

(no subject)

I don't know why Poofus And Failant feels the need to follow me into the bathroom every single time. He should know by now that I both 1) always come back out and 2) do not have food in there.

(no subject)

Once in middle school, we were trying to plan a group project, and a kid derisively called my idea "gay."

me, extremely loudly: THEN GO BE HETEROSEXUAL SOMEWHERE!