Stupid dream last night.

The Midnight Crew were the protagonists of Mother 3 - like, Salsa was Clubs Deuce and Beartiger was Diamonds Droog. Duster was still Duster and Slick was still Slick. Slick wanted to kill me, and we were having a car chase - but like WV, he couldn't really drive, so I managed to knock him off the road into the lake. He died.

I solved the problem, Homestuck protagonists, you just need to give that dude a car.

He had an indestructible knife that never needs sharpening, which I took from his stolen car and threw into a stream near the house. When the FBI came to question me about killing Slick, they didn't actually care that he was dead. They just wanted the knife. For entirely legitimate reasons. (The X-Files means I always think the FBI is up to no good.) I told them I had destroyed the indestructible knife, which they for some reason believed.

Later I gave it to Duster. Duster can be trusted with such power, as long as he isn't amnesiac or kidnapped or doing whatever stupid thing his abusive Dad tells him to do.

Actually, no, what was I thinking, give me that knife back right now, Duster. From this day forward it will be used to slice apples and nothing more.

Reviews Of Young Adult Novels, Chapter 4 (Homestuck Fanfic)

Reviews Of Young Adult Novels, Mainly Those Prominently Featuring Vampires, And Containing At Least One Love Triangle, Chapter 4:

Troll

From Whelkapedia, the “free” [1][2][3] encyclopedia

[…]

Reproduction

See also: Animal sexual behavior#Trolls

More than ninety-nine percent of commercially-produced trolls derive from only three mother grubs, all located in the United States and the property of Crockercorp. The largest of these, commonly called “Big Betty,” is believed to be at least five hundred years old, and produces sixty-nine percent of all healthy pupae.

No mother grubs are presently known to exist in the wild. The number of fertile mother grubs appears to have declined sharply over the past thousand years, for reasons which have yet to be determined, but have been conclusively medically and economically demonstrated not to be the fault of Crockercorp [19].