Unusual Success

Found the gloves and umbrella I'd misplaced while searching for a specific cable; then also found the cable itself.

So I got thegeekgene a leather jacket to replace the one she caught on fire while smoking.

And she BETRAYED MY TRUST.

thegeekgene: So I need to get some Cronus horns...

me: No! No, you don't need that!

thegeekgene: I am going to cosplay Cronus. ceruleancynic told me I should cosplay Cronus. I have to!

me: *intense glaring*

thegeekgene: Why are you so unsupportive of my goals? You're my sister, you have to be supportive! Mom, tell her to be supportive.

Mom: *reading Captain America fanfic or some shit and not paying this conversation the attention it deserves* Be supportive of your sister's goals.

me: No! The guy she's going to dress as, he's a sexual assailant! And he's dead. Sexual assailant ghost. Alien. Who dresses like a greaser.

Mom: ...actually, that sounds pretty bad...

me: Yes.

thegeekgene: Supportive! I need support from my family!

-

thegeekgene: "Are there any other orders you would like to issue to me in a manner that is similarly forceful"... Equius is great. Can I cosplay Equius? Is that okay?

me: Fine, yes, cosplay the dubious-consent horsefucker guy, see if I care. Just don't be Cronus.

Drinking thegeekgene's hard cider and criticizing her life choices.

me: So, the jacket comes with a string attached. You have to stop smoking. Right now, forever, because I gave you the jacket.

thegeekgene: *smokes aggressively, starts coughing*

me: You see?! Punishment! For there is a geas associated with the jacket, the stop smoking geas.

thegeekgene: There's a what?

me: A geas. G-E-A-S, I don't know you pronounce it. Geese? A goose. Your jacket came with a goose, the fucking... stop smoking goose. It'll peck your eyes out.

thegeekgene: I think all geese do that. Geese are jerks. *starts coughing again, is definitely going to die*

(no subject)

thegeekgene: No. But see. If I cosplay Cronus, then Cronus will have fantastic breasts. And then everything will be fine!

me: No.

Mom: What?

thegeekgene: Yes.

me: No. According to Tumblr user punpunichu -

Mom: What.

me: - everything will still be terrible, because his personality will be still be terrible. - that's a Tumblr artist who draws pictures of this character doing terrible things and having terrible things done to him. As is canonical.

thegeekgene: Fuck you.