Searching for "self-publish" or "ebook" or something on Kickstarter, and looking at the projects that didn't get funded.

The stuff by teenagers doesn't bother me - excitedly asking the internet to fund a print run for your awesome book that's almost a whole hundred pages long! strikes me as a pretty healthy thing for a kid to do. But the adults...
I found the best thing on Etsy.

These beautiful rings were part of a week long spell casting that was conducted during the Transit of Venus!

This rare occasion has been marked in history as the beginning of the BIG SHIFT.

WHAT IS THE BIG SHIFT?

The big shift is the awareness that is permeating our World. Humanity is undergoing a fundamental evolutionary change in consciousness, that is raising us to new levels of awareness.

According to numerous sources, the Earth plane experiences some sort of vibratory shift, or evolution in conscious awareness, approximately every 2,000 years. THE TIME IS NOW!


The time for something. For things. To, happen?

Inexpensive-looking ring with a blue stone

If you lack love, money, ambition, motivation, or resources...... this is the item for you!

This ring will help you to revive strained relationships and help you form new beneficial ones.

It will aid in normalizing your bodily functions and help you to finally lose weight and become healthy.


Translation, "my business preys on the mentally-ill and scared."

I appreciate how they're expending all these words on how magical the ring is, but never explain who or what is haunting it. That was the most important word in the title! You can't leave us hanging! Is it haunted by a person, or an animal, or are we talking a fire elemental or incubus? You're charging $80 for the thing, you need to provide a genus or Pokemon type.

This one's $200: Haunted Ring djinn genie jinn Goddess Freyja Love sexuality beauty fertility and WEALTH.

Freyja realizes that wealth can also play a tremendous part in making your life easy and happy, so she draws forth riches in your name.
She is not a stingy Goddess. She will reward you over and over with the deepest desires of your heart.

Beautiful Clothing
Expensive Jewelry
Shiny Cars
Lavish Vacations
Gormet Foods

Are given abundantly by this Beautiful, Goddess!

Please do not delay your purchase!


Excuse me, but I see no explanation of how and why Freyja ended up sharing a ring with a djinn. That story deserves a fucking novel. Probably by Marjorie Liu.
I continue to be fascinated by this sort of stuff.

The unkindly-named Sheep Marketplace is gone, taking all the money in escrow down with it. Its creator claimed that they'd been hacked, but the online stoner consensus is that he/she is the actual culprit. Its name had long been a source of suspicion as to the owner's motives, but that didn't stop people who wanted drugs from using it when Silk Road went down. Addiction: not good for your risk-assessment skills.

A longer-running site, Black Market Reloaded, is down for an ostensibly temporary break due to security concerns. You will be unsurprised to learn that it was preceded by another defunct site called "Black Market." A third, Silk Road 2.0, was open only briefly before their servers were overloaded with traffic fleeing the other two.

This site's owner, who I guess I'll call the Dread Pirate Roberts 2.0, put up a note blaming the Tor protocol for the problem. This is plainly not the case. If it were, then the original Silk Road, which must have had much greater volumes of traffic, would not have existed.

What's especially fun about all this is that the absconding Sheep owner suggested that their users move to yet another newly-minted alternative illicit marketplace, Tormarket. Tormarket quickly posted an unhappy-sounding message saying that they had nothing to with Sheep and asking that Sheep take that recommendation down: "This is the worst PR we can get right now. Please admin remove the link. Please."

The subreddits on the subject are, as when Silk Road was seized, a tragicomedy - lots of people trying to figure out where to get their next hit, other people mocking them, others muttering darkly about conspiracies and assassinations. There's a debate raging as to whether Tormarket is the Sheep owner's latest con, or whether it's actually a fifth site called Pandora, and the link to Tormarket a strategy to blacken its competition's eye.

My pretend internet money's on Pandora as the honeypot, if you were wondering. Similar aesthetic sense in terms of names.
Every newspaper headline on this story that does not consist of those exact words is a waste.

Fuck your scare quotes up there, Forbes, I don't care that he's some dot-com asshole ineptly putting out hits on people in the general manner in which one would expect a dot-com asshole to put out hits on people. You interviewed the guy as the Dread Pirate Roberts, and you will darn well keep calling him that.

The /r/silkroad discussions on this are pretty interesting. Key themes:

"I lost my money!"
"Whew, glad I didn't lose my money!"
"I lost the mob's money and will probably be killed!"
"LOL yalls fucked."
"Wait, what is this PGP thing we were supposed to be using?"
"LOL yalls fucked."
"Okay, but let's get serious - where do we order our drugs now?"
"No, don't buy any internet drugs right now, you will go to jail! Just be patient until it blows over."
"Are you telling coke addicts to be patient. 'cause that is some shit."
"I have something to say about cryptography and economics."
"Bitcoins are plummeting in value! Better buy more Bitcoins."
"Bitcoins are plummeting in value! I'm selling all mine right now."
"You guys suck, just get a dealer, support the local economy!"
"I would like to defend the Dread Pirate Roberts' decision to put a hit out on a guy, because he shares my political views."
"I have something to say about the government shutdown."
"Get out of this thread, we are all way too sober for this right now."
The perfidious ones, I mean. That say stuff like "my parents will buy me a car if this post gets 1,000 notes!"

Your parents are not going to do that. That is a lie. Why are you lying on Tumblr, that's not allowed.

Why do people even want 1,000 notes on their lies? What sort of satisfaction could they possibly gain from this? I get the psychological motives behind plagiarism-type-lying and Munchausen's-by-Internet-type-lying, but I don't get this.
So, I got my Jmanga reimbursement this morning. It was only a dollar on Amazon,but considering that I had less than a hundred points on the site and wasn’t expecting anything, a dollar is pretty generous of them. They weren’t obligated to reimburse me anything.

Actually, they were. That's why they did it.

They didn't give refunds for the manga people "bought" from them because there have been no really major court smackdowns about that sort of crap.

There will be some people who will point fingers and gloat about having not purchased any manga with JManga. To me, it’s about the equivalent of seeing a movie in the theater. I paid a price and enjoyed the media. In fact, reading a manga on JManga was less than half the cost of seeing a movie.

Ms. Friedman, you are a treasure to that internet demographic preoccupied with swordfighting lesbian schoolgirls (me), but this is bullshit. JManga was deliberately marketing towards people who didn't know enough about the internet to realize that the manga they'd bought was going to disappear on them.

"I knew this would happen. I’m so glad I didn’t spend money there."

And my only response is - of course they failed! You didn’t spend money there. If the amount of people I’ve seen said the above in some way shape or form used the service, it would still be running. Easily.

Services like this cost money to run, and if there are no customers - it can’t run.

I know folks complained about the points system, but it really wasn’t that bad - it even worked out to benefit when JManga ran sales and gave out free bonus points.

Supervillain Protip: If you need to disable an economist for long enough to, like, steal the economy? Make them read that crap right there. I learned this handy trick from Lex Luthor.
AO3: Please work right consistently. Sometimes you don't work right. Stop that.

Tumblr: Add some sort of mandatory adult content toggle at the top of the posting box, make it possible to filter that stuff out, and preferably also make it possible for other people to retag stuff through some kind of consensus system. When I look at a Homestuck-related tag, I am not trying to find pictures of Sollux naked and covered in purple fluid, and I prefer my tentacles platonic, in the form of amazu ika.

(Google does not actually return many useful results for that term, for some reason! It's this dried sweet-and-sour squid stuff you get in a baggie at Japanese convenience stores. It's peculiarly addictive, and I have never seen it for sale anywhere in the US.)
You should only browse the Porrim tag on Tumblr if your aim is suicide-by-incest-fetishist.
It's like it sprang fully-formed from the head of Geocities. So, you know, it's probably a reasonable visualization of the modern Western psyche. But that makes it exhausting to use. Ten minutes on Tumblr requires a five-minute brain-rest spent looking at something stationary and uninteresting, like my teacup.
"You spent $200 more than usual on Veterinary!"

You know, there are certain categories in which I think Mint should refrain from giving these warnings. Veterinary, Medical Emergency, Caskets And Other Funerary Supplies - you know, stuff like that.
Often people come here searching for things, like "all natural shea butter soap washington state," with which I am unable to provide them. However, in the past couple of months, this blog has apparently been useful to people searching for the following phrases:

hitler manga
afterschool charisma freud
can i eat "wind egg"
shaving face with hirsutism
dreams that amonkey captured
menstruation horrors

I'm so very proud of myself.

Unfortunately, the following people were probably pretty much out of luck:

minecraft mob

Yes, that would be me. I am an Enderman. It was I who moved your dirt.

make fun of somebody's house

Well, that's not very nice.

baccano vino vs police fanfiction

This interaction would likely be too brief to merit a very long piece of fanfiction. And no, I don't have any.

blood navel catarsis

?

guy with fire powers from manga
manga girl childhood sad
sad manga girl
manga girls with powers
shonen with power ups

You guys are casting your nets too wide. Get more specific. Like, do you want an evil orphan-killing one-eyed guy with fire powers, or a friendly orphaned one-eyed guy with fire powers? Do you want a girl who's sad because she's leading a bloody revolution in a horrific post-apocalyptic Japan, or one who's sad because she's a timid magical Princess with self-esteem problems? These are all important variables.

real life mewtwo

I really don't think I can help you with that.

the strongest person ina all manga

Awww.

japanese ukeru quel kanji utiliser

Usually 受.

womens hipster glasses

You can't have mine. Try Zenni Optical.

face male female mangá

Pretty Face, by Kano Yasuhiro, maybe?

the adoration of jenna fox characters
the adoration of jenna fox characters traits
the adoration of jenna fox crib notes
the adoration of jenna fox notes
what are some character traits of jenna fox?
what happens in the book the adoration of jenna fox
what is the author's purpose in the adoration of jenna fox
what is the authors style for the adoration of jenna fox

I'm confident that this is exactly what you are looking for.
Today, I once again help people who've arrived at this blog by way of search queries involving the word "manga." Also books and porn this time, though.


manga possession male to female blonde goddess

I think that you want either Global Garden or La Chevaliere d'Eon, but those terms do not perfectly describe either one.

freud manga

If you want a manga that has Freud in it, maybe Afterschool Charisma? If you want a manga that is Freudian, just, you know, get a copy of Shounen Jump.

manga characters shouting

Bleach is basically just people shouting stuff now, right? Read Bleach.

manga that have clone

A, A' - Clones as a metaphor for grief.
Global Garden - Clones as a metaphor for grief, and possibly incest.
Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle - Clones that like fly through dimensions and don't have souls and there's wings and time travel and you lose an eye doing that. (They are still a metaphor for grief.)

novel telepathic spaceship cat

Anne McCaffrey has much to answer for.

perfunctory frivolity :)

:)

shota torture gore

Go away.

yaoi manga half brothers fuck each other

The worst thing about this query is that I'm almost certain I've encountered a manga which fits its specifications.

shoujo with tragic past

Is this a trick question? All of it. All of the shoujo.


Two Bonus Queries!


elena most annoying character nalini singh

You know, I'm worried about your priorities if your primary problem with a book in which the hero threatens to kill a baby is the heroine.

what kind of girl lays eggs?

Nanami isn't that kind of girl!
My grandfather is very, very cautious about spending money. He presently needs to replace his cell phone. We just had this conversation.

Me: Here, Papaw, this is why you need a smartphone. I can take this Google thing and scan in barcodes -

Papaw: And it'll tell you about them?

Me: It's supposed to say how much they cost at other stores, so you don't pay too much. - I need something with a barcode. Okay, here, this lemonade mix.

*I scan the lemonade mix.*

Papaw: *laughs at it*

Google Shopper: *is helpfully displaying a "Decorative Skin Fits Guitar Hero 5 for PS2 PS3 Guitar."

Me: Okay, Papaw, never listen to anything I say. You don't need a smartphone.

-

I then tried it on cooking spray, tissues, an air freshener, a can of oatmeal, an old edition of The Grand Sophy, a Dresden Files book, and a gallon jug of white vinegar. It recognized the first three, then gave me a bunch of oatmeal-related products and a more recent romance novel, which I guess means that there are specific barcode ranges for oats and romance.

It recognized Harry Dresden, and even offered to sell me the ebook for $3 more than the paperback cost. The vinegar, though, it thought was a pastoral-themed wall hanging.
I present to you the Concerned Boyfriend/Husband Clarity Toolset. In ascending order of creepiness, the list includes a pocket recorder, a phone tap, a hidden camera, night vision binoculars, and a GPS tracker. I guess he's recommending you put it in your SO's frigging car?

"Concerned" is such a fabulous euphemism.

I remember reading an interview with a private detective about this sort of stuff. He said that the men who wanted him to tail their wives/girlfriends to see if they were cheating were almost always wrong, while the women doing the same to men were generally right. Other gender combinations were not discussed.

Edit: After TinEye-ing the profile picture, I think this guy's probably just screwing around; that seems to be the image in question's primary use? I mean, we can hope, anyway.
jedi mind tricks kanji

I wish I could help you, person who wants to know this. I wish I could help you.

Runners up:

manga - a female fox who can turn into a man and has a debt to repay to two humans

This blog has helped reunite someone with Divine Melody! It is a force for great good in the universe.

what is setona mizushiro about

This person probably ended up on this post. I think I answered their question pretty accurately.

underground hacker site that stole myspace passwords

THAT'S ME ALL RIGHT

did iemitsu die in ooku?

The global political scene would probably look pretty different if Tokugawa Iemitsu had attained immortality.

(For those who don't know the premise of Ooku: it's an alternate history series covering six or seven generations of the Tokugawa shogunate, and begins in the time of Yoshimune, the eighth shogun. Iemitsu was shogun #3 and appears in what's essentially a very long flashback sequence. In absence of the Philosopher's Stone or a magic peach, Iemitsu was not going to survive the whole series.)

king eduard cullen funfiction

You may have better luck if you stick "AU" in there.

upcoming darkover books?

I hope not.

what is the write spelling of specially

It's "especially."

"so can i borrow momo for a week?" "why do you need momo?"

*”dunno” noise*
(I will disclaim first that I'm aware that Metafilter's comments threads are really clean compared to many online communities. The thing is, I usually avoid those communities! So when Metafilter threads develop patches of toxicity, it's obviously going to be somewhat more noticeable to me.)

In a Metafilter thread following a post about something bad happening to someone or a group of people - for example, racial discrimination, hurricanes, medical bankruptcy, rape, hit in crotch by meteorite - how quickly does the first comment appear that:

* Downplays the bad thing's importance?
* Suggests that the victim(s) deserved it?
* States that "everyone already knows" about the problem, with the implication that discussing it is pointless?
* Suggests that efforts at fixing the problem will either make no difference or "only make things worse?"
* Questions the motives or legitimacy of an organization or person complaining about or working to resist said -ism?

Additionally, how does the identify of the bad-thing-afflicted group affect the speed and density with which Metafilter's disdain presents itself? Or, to rephrase: With whom does Metafilter sympathize the most, and with whom the least?

Cut because this is depressing. Also, I am ashamed of my tiny sample size. )
Hitting "Export to Excel" on their claims summary page gives you an unstyled HTML document, with its extension changed to .xls.

Yeah, I thought this would work when I was like, eleven. Totally didn't make sense to me that I couldn't just rename my MS Paint files of Ranma screenshots to .gif to "re-animate" them.

Also, the numbers shown on the summary page sometimes bear no relation to the Explanations of Benefits PDFs linked therein.

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The contents of this blog and all comments I make are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike License. I hope that name is long enough. I could add some stuff. It could also be a Bring Me A Sandwich License.

If you desire to thank me for the pretend internet magnanimity I show by sharing my important and serious thoughts with you, I accept pretend internet dollars (Bitcoins): 19BqFnAHNpSq8N2A1pafEGSqLv4B6ScstB