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What the hell is this game's preoccupation with killing off cute little animals.

Don't pick up the quest "The Pet of Your Dreams" in Draumheim. It's almost worse than when they gratuitously offed Tasuil the Corgi Adventurer. I did not need to see that shit.

Stuff.

Dec. 4th, 2014 07:26 pm
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1) Dubiety the Cat has not sharpened his claws for a pretty long time; he won't use the carpet post, and he's figured out that he's not allowed to mess with the couch. I unfortunately probably can't let him go outdoors to use a tree, given the horrific wounds I keep seeing on the neighborhood strays. (I tried to catch the friendly tuxedo-cat to take him to the shelter the other day, but while he's okay with being held and petted, he flips out when I start walking while he's in my arms.)

So I was trying to pick the old claw layers off Dubiety myself, to keep them from getting ingrown, and. Well. That's not going to work out unless I get a suit of fucking armor.

I'm think I'm going to get some sisal rope and a board, wrap the rope around the board, and lean it against the couch where he tries to scratch sometimes. Maybe that'll work for him.

2) I messed with the RIFT expansion a little today. It occasionally forgets that it takes place in the Plane of Water and spawns invasions from the Plane of Water, because it's fucking RIFT and nothing makes any sense.

The Big Bad says "this place shall become one with the Plane of Water!" I have some good news for you, buddy.

3) Today I ate a can of soup that ostensibly expired in early 2012. I'm fine.
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I've never played Dragon Age, and decided to rectify that in a dream last night. This spell was usable.

Me in the dream: Hahaha wow, no wonder this series is so popular.
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I dreamed that a little boy was searching a video game for his father, and I was with him in the guise of the corgi who follows you around in Rift. He found his father, but he was moving around in ways that did not sync up to his walk animation, and the boy couldn't get close enough to him to hug him, and I kept losing small amounts of HP.

I finally realized that the animations and dialog for the "Find Father" sequence had somehow been applied to a Rare mob, a giant alligator with a distinctive movement pattern and AOE attack that I'd fought before. I had to kill it, presumably with some secret corgi jutsu, just as the boy was about to hug his "father." He dropped an alligator-tooth necklace that raised spell attack power.

Why was the alligator wearing an alligator tooth necklace, who knows.
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When you hit level 50, the city throws you a party, where you have to fight a big death-spider from another dimension and watch Uriel and Kira's marriage disintegrating. It's not a very good party. Adriana even doesn't even show up, I guess she's too busy being an Attack on Titan character up in Stillmoor.
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Studies have shown that, in 80% of lesbian divorces, one or both individuals state the grounds for divorce to be "evil space dragons."
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I am actually kind of invested in Uriel and Kira's relationship in RIFT? This would be less annoying if the quest-line wasn't so broken. I actually missed the big betrayal scene because it didn't play when it was supposed to.
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is running a low-level alt to a high-level crafting quest turn-in point. It's like playing a stealth game with a mysterious preoccupation with squirrels.
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Tumblr guesses: thegeekgene answered: Magical Starsign. arjache answered: Kingdom Hearts! mercurialmalcontent answered: Xenogears is the only thing that comes to mind but it has nothing to do with gummy candy rememberwhenyoutried answered: I have no idea but I want one nostalgebraist answered: the only thing that comes to mind is xenogears and i don’t think that’s it

Cute box art for a Nintendo DS game entitled Magical Starsign

It's probably a good sign for the future of Western civilization that the only person who knew what I was talking about is my younger sister, whom I forced to play the game, in order to traumatize her.

It's about these kids who are travelling around in space doing magic to rescue their magic teacher, and they're all named after food, and they collect gummy candies to power up their magic, and they've got to collect the MILLENNIUM GUMMIES from each planet in the solar system to save it from, something. Potentially diabetes.

And the nature of the magical gummies is not really addressed, and you figure it doesn't need to be, because it's a game about collecting candy on magical planets.

But then you fight the Gummy Girl. She comes out of a gummy reactor and her attacks are "Cling" and "Scream," and she asks you to kill her. Look at this wiki entry, look at it. Here's someone's LP of that fucking battle.

picture of girl made of gummy candy weeping as she is attacked by our heroes

Body-horror gummy candy girl screaming and crying and asking to die. And you're not expecting this. There's a big magic tree called Yggsalad in the game, for Christ's sake.

And she's an optional boss, so if you miss her, you're unprepared later, when you can't get the Millennium Gummy associated with the cute cat people planet for some reason, and the cute cat girl who's been helping you commits suicide so her body can become the gummy, and you just quietly collect her like you did all the others. And then you finally find the lost teacher in the final dungeon, and it is too late, for she has already been gummified.

She still has a heartbeat, though! A big smiling worm is about to eat her.

It's like Fullmetal Alchemist, but the heroes were using the Philosopher's Stone all along. And it's gummy candy. Which they eat.
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What am I describing when I say "Soylent Green gummy candy JRPG?"

Don't look it up! This is a serious demographic survey that's taking place, here.

Man, SDR2.

Feb. 2nd, 2014 08:48 pm
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Stop making me like the whiny Katekyoh Hitman Reborn-reference character. I planned to dislike that guy on principle! Don't do this to me!
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(I'm calling unpleasant male fans of anything bronies now. Heinlein bronies and Civil war bronies and etc.)

There are people on SA upset that the SDR2 kids don't have "strong motives" like the SDR kids. Here, let me translate that for you: "The characters in this game are on average smarter, nicer, and less cynical than the ones in the last one, so they're not as cool with casually murdering each other." Let me abbreviate that for you: "This game is somehow too mature for me, and by the way where can I find sexy fanart of dead teenaged girls."

That it is possible for SDR2 to be too thoughtful for someone over the age of fifteen makes my head hurt. It's a Battle Royale/Phoenix Wright crossover, grow up five minutes' worth and you'll get over it.

The first game would not have succeeded the way it did if it had had this cast of characters, because the first game succeeded largely on the basis of shock value. This is not entirely a bad thing! Because the shock did not come primarily from the violence itself, but from the disdain that the game leveled at the tropes it was making use of.

You could imagine these guys sitting there brainstorming like, "god, I hate people who draw fanart of Mia Faye with her boobs even bigger. Can we hurt their feelings?" "I cannot believe people actually like Kristoph fucking Gavin, I want to make them uncomfortable with their life choices."

So no one should have expected the second game to feature an exact fucking clone of the social dynamics in the first one. The creators of SDR are a contrary bunch of dudes who do not actually like their fans. The chances that they were going to pack the sequel with hardcore-unrelateable psychopaths, exactly like they did the first game, were always nil.

Be grateful that you got Saionji and Sekuhara-Chef and sit down, you big babies.
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N from Pokemon Black/White's full name is "Natural Harmonia Gropius."
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A vampire killed someone, accused someone else of being the culprit, and was immediately identified because she never ate, drank, or slept. I had the sheriff put her in jail.

Shortly after, while still in jail, the vampire was elected mayor. The sheriff was simultaneously un-elected and her position left vacant. I am beginning to suspect these dwarves of being closeted Americans.

I put the sheriff back in office, and made sure I'd blocked off the vampire mayor's cell so no one could let her out. She started issuing annoying manufacturing mandates from jail. The pants are fine, I was going to make some pants anyway, but this fortress has no use for catapult parts.
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She called a little while to complain that I had made her sad.

"This needs to stop now! It's unacceptable! Snowe needs hugs and cocoa!"

I don't know why she even listens to me when I recommend stuff to her, last time I recced her something it was Homestuck, aka "Dorky Kids Get Repeatedly Physically And Psychologically Tortured But It's Funny So You Keep Reading And Then You Are Up At 3:46 AM Crying About Pretend Alien Lesbians."
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When a Baron or Baroness goes mad, they stop being a Baron or Baroness. This happens unfortunately easily, even if you've been filling all mandates promptly and given them much nicer quarters than they technically need.

I lost mine because the Mayor got upset (Facebook killed her husband or something) and I put some more stuff in her rooms to cheer her up. This worked, but had the regrettable side effect of bringing the value of the Mayor's room up higher than that of the Baroness's.

By the time I realized that something was wrong, the mad ex-Baroness was standing outside the Mayor's office surrounded by her own discarded garments, naked and dehydrated. In my defense, the Mayor hadn't noticed anything strange, either.


- me being helpful on Reddit
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Dwarf Fortress succession game fic. Characters trying to figure out the controls, freaking out about the more violent game mechanics, flooding one another's tombs, and creating massive monuments to themselves! It is perfect.
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I thought Final Fantasy VI was so great when I was ten. Why did I have to be wrong.

This is such a ridiculous game. Locke's angst and Terra's backstory and - everyone's backstory is stupid! Shadow's backstory, god, that's so awful. Pretty much every obnoxious persnickety thing you have to do to keep Shadow permanently is also awful. And there's Celes and Locke's idiotic romance, and the timeskip, and everyone's stupid behavior, and Setzer as a basic concept.

Chrono Trigger is still perfect, though.
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"Besides, our eyes are on the front of our faces so we can always face forward into the future!"

See, I haven't read much of Doraemon, but even I recognize that line. Is Monobear just quoting that series constantly, and I'm not noticing it? I wonder if the voice actress developed some pent-up frustration voicing that cat for so many years.

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